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Honorverse Humor or lack thereof.

Join us in talking discussing all things Honor, including (but not limited to) tactics, favorite characters, and book discussions.
Re: Honorverse Humor or lack thereof.
Post by emeye   » Mon Apr 08, 2013 6:09 am

emeye
Commander

Posts: 162
Joined: Mon Aug 13, 2012 2:57 am
Location: Wien

A couple of really old ones:

Q: Why don't sharks attack lawyers?
A: Professional courtesy

Q: Why don't sharks attack lawyers?
A: Even sharks possess dignity

Q: Why is it forbidden to toss lawyers into shark pools?
A: It is not ethical to torture animals

Q: What is the difference between lawyer and liar?
A: Spelling

Q: What is the lawyer's best friend?
A: They have friends?

Of course s/lawyer/any other profession/g will work just fine. Except for sharks; there are things even sharks won't do.
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Re: Honorverse Humor or lack thereof.
Post by crewdude48   » Mon Apr 08, 2013 12:15 pm

crewdude48
Commodore

Posts: 889
Joined: Tue Jan 03, 2012 2:08 am

What do you call a lawyer with an IQ under 60?

"Your honor."
________________
I'm the Dude...you know, that or His Dudeness, or Duder, or El Duderino if you're not into the whole brevity thing.
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Re: Honorverse Humor or lack thereof.
Post by Seawolf509   » Mon Apr 08, 2013 3:28 pm

Seawolf509
Captain of the List

Posts: 403
Joined: Thu Nov 15, 2012 10:31 am

HUrm now that I think about it, are lawyers ever mentioned in the books?

RFC have a thing against lawyers?
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Re: Honorverse Humor or lack thereof.
Post by KNick   » Mon Apr 08, 2013 3:40 pm

KNick
Admiral

Posts: 2142
Joined: Mon Sep 10, 2012 1:38 am
Location: Billings, MT, USA

Seawolf509 wrote:HUrm now that I think about it, are lawyers ever mentioned in the books?

RFC have a thing against lawyers?


Robert Maxwell, who is part of Honor's Regency team setting up the laws for the Duchy of Harrington. So is Clarissa Childers, who handled the negotiations with the people setting up the ski resorts. Who, IIRC, is a member of a firm with a very short client list. In order of importance, Hauptmann Enterprises, Klaus Hauptmann, Stacy Hauptmann and last but not least Honor Harrington.
_


Try to take a fisherman's fish and you will be tomorrows bait!!!
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Re: Honorverse Humor or lack thereof.
Post by AdmiralStarNight   » Mon Apr 08, 2013 7:02 pm

AdmiralStarNight
Lieutenant (Senior Grade)

Posts: 79
Joined: Sun Dec 12, 2010 10:43 pm
Location: RMN Aggressor

Hey I'm back, though my jokes might not be that good.

< Still rolling in the money like always. >

Of course Snowfire.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

You might be from Manticore if...

...You complain everytime you step aboard a ship.
...you find the idea of living of Gryphon horrorifying
...you've ever gone out for a daily stroll and almost been assassinated.
...you've seen a duel or two

(I'll think of more later...)
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
You may be from Gryphon if...

...Its your sworn duty to keep those sissies from Manticore and Sphinx in line.
..you consider your oath to the Queen second to the above.
...You've even stepped out into the snow on Manticore wearing shorts
... you think that last blizzard was nothing rather that Mother Nature is just practicing.
...You can eat food frozen and not care
...You enlisted in the Navy
... More than once you looked out your window and realized that it was snowing, and not someone taping white paper over your window.
... You think the Army and Marines should move their headquaters to Gryphon.
... The rest of the galaxy has yet to experience 'real' weather, those sissies
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

You may be from Sphinx if...
...you have Harrington blood
...you are old enough to realize that your entire life has been filled with one one season.
...there is a treecat on your shoulder
...You can fight off a hexapuma with just a knife
... the owls don't look anything like Old Earth owls
... hiking in the forest serves two purposes, hiking, and shooting practice
... You can sign treecat sign language fluently.
... You punch out anyone that says a treecat is just a pet.
... You divide your enemies two ways, those that are dead, and those soon following.
... You wish to build the treecats their own warships
... you own a frisbee and play with it regularly, no matter your age
... you think its odd when separate trees don't connect their branches.
~~
Lester Tourville♥
"The Solarian League government is selling many technological advancements and weapons to the Havenites.
Yeah, it's part of a new initiative called, 'Operation: Regret This In Seventeen Years.'"
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Re: Honorverse Humor or lack thereof.
Post by pokermind   » Tue Apr 09, 2013 12:00 pm

pokermind
Fleet Admiral

Posts: 4002
Joined: Tue Oct 25, 2011 8:58 am
Location: Jerome, Idaho, USA

Chief, "'Kill all the lawyers!' Bill Shakespeare in Richard the 3ed IIRC."

Mange, <"One lawyer with a briefcase can steal more money than a thousand men with guns," Don Vito Corleone The God Father that old movie we watched.>

"Worse it's true ;)"

<Changing the subject, how can a two-leg tell a politician is lieing?>

"His lips are moving."

Poker and Mange
CPO Poker Mind Image and, Mangy Fur the Smart Alick Spacecat.

"Better to be hung for a hexapuma than a housecat," Com. Pang Yau-pau, ART.
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Re: Honorverse Humor or lack thereof.
Post by Seawolf509   » Tue Apr 09, 2013 12:04 pm

Seawolf509
Captain of the List

Posts: 403
Joined: Thu Nov 15, 2012 10:31 am

KNick wrote:
Seawolf509 wrote:HUrm now that I think about it, are lawyers ever mentioned in the books?

RFC have a thing against lawyers?


Robert Maxwell, who is part of Honor's Regency team setting up the laws for the Duchy of Harrington. So is Clarissa Childers, who handled the negotiations with the people setting up the ski resorts. Who, IIRC, is a member of a firm with a very short client list. In order of importance, Hauptmann Enterprises, Klaus Hauptmann, Stacy Hauptmann and last but not least Honor Harrington.


But they don't count, they HELPFUL
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Re: Honorverse Humor or lack thereof.
Post by KNick   » Tue Apr 09, 2013 1:01 pm

KNick
Admiral

Posts: 2142
Joined: Mon Sep 10, 2012 1:38 am
Location: Billings, MT, USA

That is not the first time RFC has used a 1 in 1000 event or person to illustrate a point. Even lawyers occasionally do good things, as hard as that is to believe.
_


Try to take a fisherman's fish and you will be tomorrows bait!!!
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Re: Honorverse Humor or lack thereof.
Post by emeye   » Tue Apr 09, 2013 1:05 pm

emeye
Commander

Posts: 162
Joined: Mon Aug 13, 2012 2:57 am
Location: Wien

Seawolf509 wrote:
KNick wrote:
Robert Maxwell, who is part of Honor's Regency team setting up the laws for the Duchy of Harrington. So is Clarissa Childers, who handled the negotiations with the people setting up the ski resorts. Who, IIRC, is a member of a firm with a very short client list. In order of importance, Hauptmann Enterprises, Klaus Hauptmann, Stacy Hauptmann and last but not least Honor Harrington.


But they don't count, they HELPFUL


I, for one, do not consider it pleasurable to read about patent trolls and ambulance chasers.
http://arstechnica.com/tech-policy/2013/04/meet-the-nice-guy-lawyers-who-want-1000-per-worker-for-using-scanners/
YMMV
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Re: Honorverse Humor or lack thereof.
Post by pokermind   » Thu Apr 11, 2013 7:08 am

pokermind
Fleet Admiral

Posts: 4002
Joined: Tue Oct 25, 2011 8:58 am
Location: Jerome, Idaho, USA

Chief, "One almost feels sorry for lawyers with all the nasty jokes."

Image <I don't understnd why you two-legs don't Image with this plague on your society.>

"Lawyers like morticians are pariahs until you need one ;) "

<That's the problem with two-leg society you don't Image with your own problems.>

"We occasionally deal with it directly, it's called dueling ;) "

<Got a joke?>

"What's the best part of being a mortician?"

<Don't know.>

"You can bury your mistakes."

Poker & Mange
CPO Poker Mind Image and, Mangy Fur the Smart Alick Spacecat.

"Better to be hung for a hexapuma than a housecat," Com. Pang Yau-pau, ART.
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