Honorverse Humor or lack thereof.

waddles for desert wrote:Ahhh,

What a cute little kitty cat!

David Weber wrote: ‏

@davidweber1 27 Mar

Quoting Werrf on the http://davidweber.net forums... "How do Manticoran sensor crews report no contacts on their watch?" "Not a Peep."

Admiral Werrf wrote:
There's got to be a joke about how many dolists does it take to screw in a lightbulb...

How many treecats does it take to screw in a lightbulb?
One hand.

How many Royal Marines does it take to screw in a lightbulb?

Lightbulb? Oh, no, they just had a slight navigational glitch and asked for directions. You can check with WO Harkness over there...

What did the pirate say when the Confederate officer blew his own fusion plant?
"That was silly."

How to Manticoran sensor crews report no contacts?
"Not a Peep."

Knock, knock.
Who's there?
Honor.
Honor who?
On 'er way to another Death Ride, want to come?

Knock, knock.
Who's there?
North Hollow.
North Hollow who?
Bang.
...
...
Hello?

Why do Rat Poison's assassins always do what they're told?
Because Nanny knows best.

How did Mesa get its name?
Somebody asked Jar-Jar Binks.

Did you hear about the Solly Admiral looking for a means of FTL communication? He figured the only thing that travels instantly is inheritance of the chain of command, and wiped out his whole command staff testing it.

A Manty civil servant, a Peep bureaucrat and a Solly mandarin walk into a bar. The Manty orders t-whisky, and when the barman hands him his change, he shoots the money.
"Why did you do that?" asks the Peep. "In the Star Empire, we have too much money," the Manty says.
So the Peep orders a beer, drinks it, then shoots the drip tray under the pumps.
"Why did you do that?" asks the Solly. "In the Peoples Republic, we have too many unproductive drains on society."
The Solly thinks really hard, then orders a glass of vodka. When he's finished, he shoots himself.

A grav lance walks into a bar and orders t-whisky. The bartender hands over the drink and says "That'll be $15, please."
The grav lance pats its pockets, looks embarassed and says "Sorry, I'm a little short."

What did the teenage treecat say when a female treecat walked past?
Cor, what a pair of legs, pair of legs, pair of legs...

A Hexapuma walked into a bar and said to the bartender "Give me a gin and......................................... tonic."
The bartender says "Why the big pause?"

Which part of the Manticoran constitution prevents the random killing of Hexapumas?
The native species protection claws.

What's the favourite method of countermissile bullies?
The wedgie.

What did the Apollo missile say to the Solly countermissile?
"Missed."

What's the difference between a Dolist and a leech?
Leeches are flexible.

What do you call two Legislaturalists with a Navy?
Space invaders.

What do you call a Dettweiler in Torch orbit?
Lost.

How many High Ridge government members does it take to screw in a light bulb?
Seventeen - one to screw it in, and sixteen to steal it from the Navy.

What do you call a treecat on Medusa?
A cat.

What do you get if you cross a hexapuma with a buzzsaw?
Another hexapuma.

What do you get if you cross High Ridge with an Apollo control missile?
A shot that knows exactly where it's going but has no idea what to do when it gets there.

What do you get if you cross a Superdreadnought's wedge with a Shrike?
A dispersal pattern.

What do you get if you cross Honor Harrington?
Dead.


---------------------------------------------------------
Posted this a while back, but it fits better here...

First, we must remember that the Star Empire of Manticore's existence is based entirely on the Manticoran Junction. Without the Junction, not only would the older Star Kingdom have been ploughed under by the Havenite forces, but there would never have been any reason for the Kingdom to expand into Basilisk, Trevor's Star or Lynx. Indeed, it would not be too much of a stretch to say that the Star Empire of Manticore should be considered the "Wormhole" empire.

Second, we must remember that much of the Star Empire of Manticore's wealth and power is based on its carrying trade. The Royal Manticoran Navy's very existence is based on that carrying trade, which means that wherever the Merchant Marine goes, the Empire goes with it. It is in fact safe to say that the Star Empire of Manticore "roams" over all known space.

With that in mind, I suggest that the Star Empire of Manticore should be renamed:
The Holey, Roamin' Empire.
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pokermind wrote:

Seawolf509 wrote:Now for the greatest challange treecats have ever faced... the feared



LAWYERS!!!!!!!!!!!

Mange, <The nice thing about being an imaginary character they can't serve a summons on you >

Mange

pokermind wrote:Spoiler Joke from Shadow of Freedom

Mange, <Where did Vice Admiral Oxana Dubroskaya spend his rest vacation at the end of The Battle of Saltash?>

Chief, “Wasn’t he killed in the battle?”

<True, but after the battle his atoms rested all over the Saltash system.>



Poker & Mange

emeye wrote:There are no lawyer jokes.

It's all true.