Safehold Humor or lack thereof

[Clyntahn]GOD will grant his Faithful Church ANY dispensation needed to Vanquish His Foes!

[Clyntahn]I don't care what you cretins say about the Book of Jwo-jeng, activate the LASER DEATH RAY NOW!!


yes your Eminence! At Once!

The Shan-wei begotten monstrous contraption began to shake and scream, smoke and sparks and bright lights flashed, a huge humming sound and then the three captured Heretics began to first glow and cry out in anguish and then disappear in a cloud of smoke.

[Clyntahn] SEE! I Told you! GOD Favours US!

just then the sky darkens, lightning flashes and crushing, deafening thunder rolls out as God's Wrath, the very Rakurai itself comes raining down

[Clyntahn] OOPS!

(idea by Gamarus)

"I didn't expect a kind of Charisian Inquisition."

jchilds wrote:"I didn't expect a kind of Charisian Inquisition."

Well, NO ONE expects the Charisian Inquisition!

rocket_scientist wrote:

jchilds wrote:"I didn't expect a kind of Charisian Inquisition."

Well, NO ONE expects the Charisian Inquisition!

Just please don't pull out the comfy chair, OK? PLEASE! Noooooo!!!!

FriarBob wrote:

rocket_scientist wrote:

jchilds wrote:"I didn't expect a kind of Charisian Inquisition."

Well, NO ONE expects the Charisian Inquisition!

Just please don't pull out the comfy chair, OK? PLEASE! Noooooo!!!!

Well rapscallion we still have Monte Python's soft cushions to tickle you into confession <G>

Poker

PS. For you younger fans who don't know the following has the comfy chair and the soft cushions warning, it's a ten minute skit:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=uprjmoSMJ-o

Enjoy Poker

How can you tell which Kingdom/Empire a galleon warship belongs to just by looking at it?

If it is sailing close hauled into the wind and making good time, it is Charisian

If it is sailing mostly into the wind, and not more than a few people have fallen off, it is Dolarhn under Admiral Thirst.

If it is burning in coastal waters, it is Desnairian.

If it has trouble doing a beam reach and shot to pieces it is Navy of God.

If it pointed the wrong way, not making any way at all, people are falling off, shot to pieces, burning, completely without weapons, and sinking all at the same time, it is Harchongian.

And if it is in danger of immediate floundering even though there is not an enemy warship or cloud in sight on a calm sea, then it is Dolarhn under the command of Duke Malakia.

Mount Seamount calls Cayleb, Howsmyn, and Merlin to his latest demonstration. In front of them, they see many hides of leather sewn edge to edge making a long, thin rectangle, almost like leather table cloth. Sewn onto the sheet of leather were muskets, one every few inches, all pointing from left to right across the leather's short width. One end of the musket laden leather fed into a strange contraption, longer than the leather was wide, with gap toothed wheels above and smaller wheels below to move the leather through along it length. It looked as though all the muskets were loaded, cocked, and ready to fire.

Seamount gleamed at them and smiled at their consternation. "It all came from a comment Merlin made about firing more than once with the same gun. It stuck in my head, and now there is THIS!"

Cayleb exclaimed "What IS this??!!", as Merlin started to twitch and emit strange noises as if his PICA body were finally beginning to fail.

Seamount reached down and started turning a huge crank lever on the side. Leather moved across the top and as each musket reached the exact top, a small gear on the side caused an arm to swing down and hit the trigger, firing the musket. Seamount kept turning as musket after musket fired in rapid succession.

"It is my new, muzzle-loaded machine gun" Seamount beamed like a cat with a canary between his teeth. "I am still working on making a portable model, though!

Mange, <While visiting Safehold Forum from Honorverse Forum I noticed this from Two-Legs here:>

drothgery wrote:

Jonathan_S wrote:Ok, I know that's a simple typo or misstatement.

But I couldn't help thinking if we ever saw Manticoran forces on Safehold that they'd have something better than blackpowder grenades to storm redoubts with (like power armor).

Hmmm...

Honor: Okay, we blew up an orbital platform that for some reason seems like it was set up to bombard you planet on an automated trigger, and I left my fleet in orbit. I sent some marines to deal with this 'temple' that seems to be coordinating terrorist activities here. Is that okay?

Merlin: Umm....

.

Gbaba vs. Salamander

Poker, "One wonders how many seconds the Gbaba would last in round one?"

Mange, <Foolish Two-Legs the Gbaba almost totally exterminated humanity early in the diaspora, therefore no Manticore, no Manticorin Navy, and no Honor Harrington. Safeholdian ancestors should have played dumb like the People.>

Poker & Mange

Chief, "Hey Mange did you see this from Rocket Scientist?"

As "Perambulates Rapidly In The General Direction Of Vegetables With A Sickle Shaped Cross Section" has implied elsewhere, the next battle will be as much logistics as tactics. I agree that tactically, it does not make sense for Eastshare to venture far to the west in force to interfere with supply lines, but if the northern armies are already leaning heavily on what supply chain they have left as PRITGDOVWASSCS has indicated, then even small efforts here will have big effects later.

Mange, <An insult to the creator of the People, runsforcelery, there may be riots in the jungles of Sphinx at this infidel's blasphemy!>

"Chill, 'cat!, it was just a humorous thought while he was masticating dessicated dead deer dermis at the keyboard."

<Hey Rocket Scientist,>

"Temper temper Mange."



"Ah well enough sowing hate and discontent here, back to putting lipstick on a pig of a tech story on Baen's Bar."

<So, what's new with your sowing hate and discontent?>

"Bleek, bleek, bleek,...bleek."

Poker & Mange

pokermind wrote:Chief, "Hey Mange did you see this from Rocket Scientist?"

As "Perambulates Rapidly In The General Direction Of Vegetables With A Sickle Shaped Cross Section" has implied elsewhere, the next battle will be as much logistics as tactics. I agree that tactically, it does not make sense for Eastshare to venture far to the west in force to interfere with supply lines, but if the northern armies are already leaning heavily on what supply chain they have left as PRITGDOVWASSCS has indicated, then even small efforts here will have big effects later.

Mange, <An insult to the creator of the People, runsforcelery, there may be riots in the jungles of Sphinx at this infidel's blasphemy!>

"Chill, 'cat!, it was just a humorous thought while he was masticating dessicated dead deer dermis at the keyboard."

<Hey Rocket Scientist,>

"Temper temper Mange."



"Ah well enough sowing hate and discontent here, back to putting lipstick on a pig of a tech story on Baen's Bar."

<So, what's new with your sowing hate and discontent?>

"Bleek, bleek, bleek,...bleek."

Poker & Mange

Ok! OK! You win Mange! I promise to never again expand in vain the name of the creator of all tree cats! Please spare my while there are still large enough parts of my epidermis for the Pasqualites to find and stitch together back into something resembling a human being.

Oh, and what is that over there in what used to be by back pocket? Some fresh celery stalks? Would you like to share some with me?