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Honorverse Humor or lack thereof.

Join us in talking discussing all things Honor, including (but not limited to) tactics, favorite characters, and book discussions.
Re: Honorverse Humor or lack thereof.
Post by pokermind   » Wed Sep 05, 2012 2:35 pm

pokermind
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Posts: 4002
Joined: Tue Oct 25, 2011 8:58 am
Location: Jerome, Idaho, USA

Mange, <Well on the page bottom again, where are all the other honorvers clowns? Ah well, here's two funny ones from the Re: Honorverse Codes, Creeds and Slogans thread:>

pokermind wrote:
Hutch wrote:IIRC the Treecats have only two types of enemies: Those that have been suitably dealt with and those that are still breathing....


Mange, <Actually Two-Leg, The-People have only two types of enemies: Those who have been suitably dealt with, and those awaiting being suitably dealt with.> Image

Mange


<Leading to:>

pokermind wrote:Mange, <I could foolish Two-Leg, but then I would have to slash your throat, or play a you a tune on my Chicago Piano.> Image

yannosh wrote:Hey chief, I recently heard (from sources best left undisclosed) that the spacer 'cats are part of treecat mafia, so I was wondering if mange can tell them their creed?
edited for gross typo


Chief, "Want to spice up comments I use the free emoticons on this site;

http://www.messengerfreak.com/emoticons.php

just use the img key and post copyed location from site, easy to do. Here's socking it to ya kid Image just don't hurt yourself Image, son."

Mange and Poker


Chief "That last emoticon shows why not to read in the nude <G>."

Mange, <Not a problem for the People, just you male two-legs letting it all hang out.> Image "Bleek, bleek,...bleek." Image

Poker & Mange

PS David has not discussed the external reproductive anatomy of male treecats, so I assume its sheathed like their claws here without text evidence for humorous reasons. For all we know there's a sperm polyp on a finger or tip of tail rather than earth mammal sex organs.
.
CPO Poker Mind Image and, Mangy Fur the Smart Alick Spacecat.

"Better to be hung for a hexapuma than a housecat," Com. Pang Yau-pau, ART.
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Re: Honorverse Humor or lack thereof.
Post by pokermind   » Thu Sep 06, 2012 11:06 am

pokermind
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Posts: 4002
Joined: Tue Oct 25, 2011 8:58 am
Location: Jerome, Idaho, USA

Mange, <So with all the People migrating to Manticore to be Two-Leg guardians Slashes-Deathfangs and Berserk-Claw ambled into a bar on their day off. They jumped up on two empty bar stools.

<Using his translating color Berserk-Claw signed, <Sphinxian Celery Juice in a dirty Glass!>>

<Two-Leg barkeep, "We don't serve your kind in here."

<After dealing with the uppity Two-Leg, and looking through the bottles Slashes-Deathfangs said, <The stupid Two-Leg could have told us he was out of Sphinxian Celery Juice with out insulting us.>

<Berserk-Claw said, <Well let's try the next bar.>>

<The word had spread so the next Bar's barkeep in answer said "We don't have Sphinxian celery juice, how bout some Red-Eye?"

<Slashes-Deathfangs said, <No thanks I don't like Two-Leg soda pop. Do you know where we can get some Sphinxin celery juice?>>

<Barkeep, "No, but I have some celery salt."

<After dispatching the Two-Leg Berserk Claw said, <I hate drug dealers.>>
.
Image "Bleek, bleek, bleek,...bleek." Image

Chief, "Treecat humor, go figure." Shrugs.

Poker & Mange
.
CPO Poker Mind Image and, Mangy Fur the Smart Alick Spacecat.

"Better to be hung for a hexapuma than a housecat," Com. Pang Yau-pau, ART.
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Re: Honorverse Humor or lack thereof.
Post by pokermind   » Fri Sep 07, 2012 12:29 pm

pokermind
Fleet Admiral

Posts: 4002
Joined: Tue Oct 25, 2011 8:58 am
Location: Jerome, Idaho, USA

Apppearing on Grayson television this add:

The Newest Release From Ronchco Records

That Missouri Canary voice CPO Pokermind and his Treecat accompanist Spacecat First Mangy Fur on his electric lyre:

The Snippet Filk:

Written by Sharidann, Saintonge, Howard T.Map-addict and, Pokermind.

Sung to the tune of Stringers in the Night

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=SF09jJlJCU0

Snippets in the night, gathering glances

Wond'ring in the night,

what were the chances,

They'd be getting read,

before the night was through.

Something in your lines, was so exciting,

Something in your words, was so inviting,

Something in my mind, told me I must read you.

Snippets On The Site!

Impatient People wanting Snippets On The Site!

Until the moment when we see them on the site,

Fingernails we bite,

Chapters still some time away,

A nervous wracking time away.

Snippets in the night, barely ease the craving

wondering when the eARC comes, just saying.

Then a few days bliss before,

we begin preying, saying and, baying,

for more Snippets in the Night.

Mange, <That song got us a sample chapter.> Image

Chief, "Well now we are shooting for an Oopsie eARC, only one problem Toni Weisskopf wants a You Tube song for Ben's Bar on You Tube With music, dancing, and the singing!"

<If you dance you'll leave potholes in the dance-floor, and you know the People can't dance without moon light it's taboo.>

"Well any one who can sing and dance and record and put on You Tube here's an eARC Filk to the tune of La Cucaracha

http://www.youtube.com/watch?NR=1&v=Yfka9m6NhzE&feature=fvwp

eARC Filk

by Pokermind.

La eARC-ka La eARC-ka (pronounced "E"-ark-ka)

We want the eARC today! (pronounce "E"-ark)

We are driven mad, mad,

until we get our way.

<That's terrible!> Image "Bleek, bleek, bleek,...bleek." Image

"Everybody's a critic!"

Poker & Mange
CPO Poker Mind Image and, Mangy Fur the Smart Alick Spacecat.

"Better to be hung for a hexapuma than a housecat," Com. Pang Yau-pau, ART.
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Re: Honorverse Humor or lack thereof.
Post by pokermind   » Sun Sep 09, 2012 6:58 pm

pokermind
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Posts: 4002
Joined: Tue Oct 25, 2011 8:58 am
Location: Jerome, Idaho, USA

Mange, <We’re on the bottom of the page again.>

Chief, “Well, perhaps you might tell another joke?”

<Dumber-Than-Three-Rocks applied for a job with the RMN as a Two-Leg guard. The recruiting Petty Officer took his info. It was obvious that the male was not the sharpest pencil in the box, but the PO was behind on his quota of treecat recruits. Later up the food chain it came time to assign him to a Two-Leg, and rather than enraging an officer the Personnel PO assigned him to Sir Horrass Harkness.>

“I’ll bet that thrilled Sir Horrass?”

<Well it did because Dumber-Than-Three-Rocks quickly learned Two-Leg mathematics and computer language. His brain was just twisted enough to understand them.>

“Is Dumber-Than-Three-Rocks still in the Navy?”

<Nope, Sir Horras taught him how to play with bank computers and he retired to Sphinx as the richest treecat on the planet.>

“I’m surprised they didn’t arrest and prosecute Dumber-Than-Three-Rocks?”

<The banks refuse to prosecute fearing a bank run if it was know the dumbest of the People could defraud them.>

Poker & Mange

PS Sorry for the spelling. Spelling is not in my skill set.
.
CPO Poker Mind Image and, Mangy Fur the Smart Alick Spacecat.

"Better to be hung for a hexapuma than a housecat," Com. Pang Yau-pau, ART.
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Re: Honorverse Humor or lack thereof.
Post by ncwolf   » Sun Sep 09, 2012 10:39 pm

ncwolf
Commander

Posts: 154
Joined: Sat Oct 24, 2009 4:49 pm

pokermind wrote:Mange, <We’re on the bottom of the page again.>

Chief, “Well, perhaps you might tell another joke?”

<Dumber-Than-Three-Rocks ...>
.


I gotta ask. Are three rocks dumber than one rock? Also, is a rock smarter or dumber than a red brick?
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Re: Honorverse Humor or lack thereof.
Post by pokermind   » Sun Sep 09, 2012 11:45 pm

pokermind
Fleet Admiral

Posts: 4002
Joined: Tue Oct 25, 2011 8:58 am
Location: Jerome, Idaho, USA

ncwolf wrote:
pokermind wrote:Mange, <We’re on the bottom of the page again.>

Chief, “Well, perhaps you might tell another joke?”

<Dumber-Than-Three-Rocks ...>
.


I gotta ask. Are three rocks dumber than one rock? Also, is a rock smarter or dumber than a red brick?


Mange, <It is an expression of the People if one is dumb as a rock he's dumb, dumb as two rocks is dumber, and dumb as three rocks the dumbist. What is a brick?>

Chief, "A man made rock made with clay and sand and fired in a kiln."

<Dumb as a rock Two-Legs why make rocks when you can just pick them up?>

"We make them in special shapes easier to build with."

<Why not just break the existing rock, dumb as two rocks Two-Legs?>

"It's easier to mold bricks than carve stone."

<Dumber than three rocks Two-Leg don't know how to split stone?>

"Take my word it's easier, you six limbed walking flea circus!"

<Take your word where?>
Image "Bleek, bleek, bleek, ...bleek." Image

Mange & Poker
CPO Poker Mind Image and, Mangy Fur the Smart Alick Spacecat.

"Better to be hung for a hexapuma than a housecat," Com. Pang Yau-pau, ART.
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Re: Honorverse Humor or lack thereof.
Post by pokermind   » Mon Sep 10, 2012 12:46 pm

pokermind
Fleet Admiral

Posts: 4002
Joined: Tue Oct 25, 2011 8:58 am
Location: Jerome, Idaho, USA

Mange, <What's Happening in the Honorverse Forum?>

Chief, "Same old, same old, Mange. Had a little excitement onSafehold Forum last night, a Snotty posted some Fan Fic, I warned him it was a big no,no. He PMed me wanting to know where he could post and I answered. This morning the thread had been snipped, so I wrote him a PM of sympathy."

<Like you're a sympathetic character, NOT!>

"Well I did design a 'T' shirt for him as he joins Namelessfly and myself in having threads snipped:

pokermind wrote:Well to cheer you up my favorite duck emoticon, Image. Now if they ever get film monitor screens for "T" shirts that would make an Image animated 'T' shirt, <G> like:

I GOT PULLED BY:

Naner Image naner!

.DAVID'S DUCKK!


<Quack, quack> Image "Bleek, bleek, bleek,...bleek." Image

Poker & Mange
CPO Poker Mind Image and, Mangy Fur the Smart Alick Spacecat.

"Better to be hung for a hexapuma than a housecat," Com. Pang Yau-pau, ART.
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Re: Honorverse Humor or lack thereof.
Post by pokermind   » Wed Sep 12, 2012 8:26 am

pokermind
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Posts: 4002
Joined: Tue Oct 25, 2011 8:58 am
Location: Jerome, Idaho, USA

Mange, <Hi Chief, just got done talking with Lurks-in-Branches and he has made a discovery that will benefit all the People.>

"Oh?"

<You know the Two-Leg he guards smokes those horrible smelling burning leaves?> Mange continues after the Chief's nod, <Well if you dry the leaves of Sphinxian cluster-stalk and smoke them in a pipe or roll them up in cigarette paper you don't get constipated.>

Chief singing:

"Don't Bogart that joint my friend,

"pass it on over to me. ..."

<Very funny, NOT!> Image "Bleek, bleek, ... bleek." Image

"How about heading to the Chinaman's for shrimp and celery egg rolls, you six limbed walking flea circus?"

Image "Purr, purr, purr, ... purr"

Mange & Poker
CPO Poker Mind Image and, Mangy Fur the Smart Alick Spacecat.

"Better to be hung for a hexapuma than a housecat," Com. Pang Yau-pau, ART.
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Re: Honorverse Humor or lack thereof.
Post by Emo Otaku   » Thu Sep 13, 2012 6:48 am

Emo Otaku
Captain of the List

Posts: 687
Joined: Wed Oct 05, 2011 9:52 am
Location: Nottingham, England, UK

Press release from the RMN

The latest initiative to integrate the Star Empires indiginous sentient species was halted last night.

Project Runs For Celery was an attempt to combine a full LAC crew of treecats with a group of recently recruited Medusan marines.

Unfortuately this project was halted when it was discovered that the crew of the experimental LAC HMS TWTMNBN had been staging midnight commando raids on some of Sphinx's largest celery farms.

No one has been reported as injured by any of the actions taken by the crew, but several thousand celery plants are reported missing.

--------

A Spokesperson from the RMN had this comment.

"Well it seemed a good idea at the time"
~~~~~~

Sanity is merely the consensus of the Insane
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Re: Honorverse Humor or lack thereof.
Post by pokermind   » Fri Sep 14, 2012 10:40 am

pokermind
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Posts: 4002
Joined: Tue Oct 25, 2011 8:58 am
Location: Jerome, Idaho, USA

Mange, <For those who don't read the Safehold forum in answer to a question on the use of lee-boars in the Safehold series I butted into the following conversation between the chief and runsforcelery.> :

runsforcelery wrote:
pokermind wrote:None are mentioned but, small unmentioned coastal ships and fishing boats might have them. If low draft river ironclads are transported I imagine center-boards for stability to travel in the seas might be used. David did so in 1634 The Baltic War in the Assiti Shards Universe he wrote with Eric Flint.

Poker



Ahem.

OAR, page 239, electronic version:

But Dawn was sailing within just under fifty degrees of the true wind. Even that was far from spectacular by the standards of the sailing yachts Nimue had known on Old Earth's salt water, but Dawn had been converted from a typical Howell Bay coaster. She was relatively shoal-hulled and broad-beamed, without the fin keel or centerboard of one of those yachts. Merlin and Sir Dustyn had added leeboards to give her better hydrodynamics, but it was an awkward, makeshift fix, and the schooner rig itself was inherently less weatherly than the sloops or yawls Nimue had once sailed for recreation.

********************************************

BHD, page 164, electronic version:
One of the new Charisian innovations had been the introduction of the heliograph, using reflected sunlight to transmit messages in what another world in another time would have called "Morse code." Another had been the construction of specifically designed landing craft. Although capable -- theoretically, at least -- of making independent passages under sail, the shallow draft and flat bottoms designed to make over-the-beach landings possible also made them less than ideal blue-water vessels at the best of times. Sir Dustyn Olyvyr had improved things at least a bit by providing them with retractable leeboards, but they'd made the voyage from Charis as deck cargo, and the captains responsible for getting them to Corisande had not been delighted by their assignment.

*************************************************

I’m pretty sure they’ve been mentioned more places than this. These were just the two I remembered off the top of my head.


Image

Chief, "What I get commenting after just one read through."

Mange, <Open mouth, insert foot, wiggle toes, Two-Leg!"

"Avast thar ye six-limbed walking flee circus go back to the Honorverse where you belong!"

<You started it with that Honorverse bummper sticker :p> Image

"You can be replaced with a cat-lizard you know."

<Cat-lizards are not sentient so who would you talk to?> :p

"Grumble, grumble ... grumble."

Poker & Mange
CPO Poker Mind Image and, Mangy Fur the Smart Alick Spacecat.

"Better to be hung for a hexapuma than a housecat," Com. Pang Yau-pau, ART.
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