Honorverse Humor or lack thereof.

Emo Otaku wrote:RFC doesn't Lie or make mistakes

it is us that are not sufficiently understanding

Its just that sometimes because of the size of his vision the details get a little jumbled up, or lost, or ignored or completely retconned, when little things like maths gets in the way

"There are no continuity errors in the Discworld novels. There are, however, alternate pasts" - Terry Pratchett.

"We belong to another, equally honorable profession: Liar-to-readers" - also Terry Pratchett.

psy9o wrote:All hail the great resizing

And the 1% of all treecats in the Yawata Strike.

Chief, "Got a treecat joke for us Mange?"

Mange, <What do you get when you cross a treecat and a sphinxian chipmunk?>

"I know I'll regret this, what?"

<Lunch for the treecat.>

"Bleek, bleek,...bleek."

Poker and Mange

Well Honorverse jokers the well is drying up again so a repeat of the joke lesson on page three of this thread for our new bees:

pokermind wrote:Listen up snotty jokers of the Honorverse the old Chief is going to give some lessons:

The first is a paraphrase of an old Rastus and Liza jokes the raciest and sexist jokes of my youth and in their original form the Duckk would be on me like a duck on a June-bug.

Twelve-year-old Raul Alexander-Harrington is talked into looking over the wall of a nearby nudest colony by his young chum. While peering over the wall standing on his chum's shoulders a knockout curvacious blond comes into view.

Young Raul jumps off his friend's shoulders running and screaming. His friend tackles him and asks, "Raul why are you running so hard and screaming?"

"My mothers told me if I looked over that wall I would turn to stone, and something is getting hard already!"

A staple of sick humor even worse than light-bulb jokes were the Dead Baby Jokes, here is a paraphrase set in the Honorverse:

How does a dead Havenite Dolest cross the road?

Stapled to a chicken.

Then there were the Elephant jokes, to paraphrase:

How does the Hexapuma hide in small trees on Sphinx?

He climbs to the top, paints his claws red, and prey thinks its a cherry tree.

See Snotties almost any joke you know can be adapted to the Honorverse.

Mange, <Treecat jokes can be created, for example from the old sick Sally Ride Challenger Jokes: What was the last thought in the treecat engineer's mind before the SDp turned into a cloud of expanding vapor? '<What does this button do?>' Or Admiral Werff's classic why was the treecat executed for treason? When asked about the war situation he answered "Bleek!">

"So exercise your funny bone guys."

Poker and Mange

After the defeat of the MAlign the dead Albrerct Detweiler is escorted into hell.

At the gates he is grated by the Devil who tells him he has 3 choices for spending the rest of eternity, and so he is lead to a door, looking through the Peephole he can see a room full of people standing on their heads on a concrete floor, the Devil closes the peephole and leads Albrect to a second door, in this room everyone is standing on their heads on a wooden floor, finally Albrect is lead to a third room where everyone is stood around in eerm.. Effluent up to their knees drinking coffee.

Albrect thinks to himself "well staanding around in that wouldn't be pleasant but it beats standing on my head", so he walks into the third room.

30 seconds later the door bangs open and the Devil sticks his head through "Right you lot Coffee Breaks over back to standing on your Heads"

Mange, <So what's new in the Honorverse?>

Chief, "More tech discussion, there was one on Baen's Bar that I thought both truthful and funny."

<Do tell?>

"The following discusses the changes in the rules of the Honorverse game that our beloved David Weber has made:"

Howard T Mapaddict wrote:
My guess is, some readers see this as a game.
With fixed rules, like chess or checkers.
Some person or persons invented checkers, others invented modern chess,
**set the rules forever,**
and then gave it to the world to play.
Eventually there would be players who understood the Rules
better than the inventors. Kasparov beats Damiano, for example.

However,
The Honorverse is not that kind of game.
The Rules change as Tech changes, as Science advances,
and we never know all of the Rules anyway.
The people in the game are not pawns of the player-readers.
They know more TEch and Science than any 21st century reader.

But,
Players who have mastered checkers, chess, Pong, Missile Command, Warcraft,
believe themselves to be better players than the game designers.
Some of them have proved themselves better than *those* designers.
Therefore they *know* in their bones and their blood that they just might
master Honorverse, as some of them mastered Worlds of Warcraft.

However, they are wrong, because Honorverse is not that kind of game.
But, that won't stop them from persisting.

HTM

<Rules? Rules? The Honorverse don't need no stinking Rules!>

"Hey Mange you're watching too much Grayson TV. Here's a joke, why is a Honorverse fan like Oliver Twist in Charles Dickens book by that title?"

<Going literary on me Chief? I'll bite, but if I don't like the punch line I'll bite for real!>

"Like Oliver we are constantly saying, "Please sir I'd like some more."

<Thy meat bag isith safe.> "Bleek, bleek,...bleek."

Poker and Mange

Mange, <What's got you laughing now?>

Chief, "A serious topic in the Honorverse forum on Baen's
Bar went very silly, here is the link for those who can get on the bar:"

http://bar.baen.com/index.php?t=msg&goto=812338&#msg_812338

"And here is the silly part. After being told not to repeat a friends revelations of the contents of House of Steel to prevent dire consequences, the original poster wrote:"

FPKiesche3 wrote:I don't have any details, just a general overview of the book and how it
came to pass that a naval analyst got involved. We mostly discussed things
like how lousy the iPad is for content creation and "The Great Resizing".

The only secret he let slip was how Earth had been controlled by a secret
cabal of treecats stretching back to the dawn of pre-history.

OOOPS.

[Snip the quote of our own Duckk warning of confidentiality agreements]

"Followed by this with other quotes the first by your ole buddy the Chief in his Crazy Charlie persona:"

Crazy Charlie wrote:To quote Scotty on Star Trek on the subject of humans transporting to Sphinx to fight the treecat overlords, "Cap'in, the outlook for such a long range transporter is verra Bleek!"

Charlie

sehlat wrote:
OMG! They can teleport across interstellar distances????!!!!!

Fear and worship our treecat overlords. Bleek!!!!

On Wed, 18 Jul 2012 15:14:58 -0400, Fred Kiesche
wrote:

FPKiesche3 wrote:
[Snip see full quote above, Poker]

The only secret he let slip was how Earth had been controlled by a secret cabal of treecats stretching back to the dawn of pre-history.

Mange, <Oops the 'cat is out of the bag, the two-legs know our plans, OH, woe are we!>

"Bleek, bleek,...bleek."

Poker and Mange

In a simultaneous dream, God appeared to Protector Benjamin Mayhew of Grayson, Evil shadowy supremacist overlord* Albrecht Detweiller and Innokentiy Kolokoltsov, and after proving He was real, told them that the universe is approaching it's expiration date within a standard galactic month.

The Following morning, Benjamin mediately arranged to meet reverend Sullivan.
"Sulivan I have some extraordinary news for us all. You see, Lord appeared to me this last night in a dream, and commended me on the faith of our people, and assured me that we will ascend to heaven within a month.
Across the galaxy in Mesa, the evil shadowy supremacist overlord called the meeting of the Onion core and announced a good news and a bad news.
"The good news is that I have absolute refutable proof of our superiority over commons in that the god decided to speak to me, even though I disbelieved his existence up to that point, but the bad news is that all our plans were for nought - the end of the universe is imminent and we can do nothing about it."
On old Terra, Kolokoltsov woke and screened the other mandarins.
"People, I have good news and great news. Good news is that I have a support from universe level power, and the excellent news is that within a standard galactic month all this trouble with Manticore will resolve itself."

*Yes, yes, unnecessary. So sue me. I love how it sounds :D

Wouldn't Benjamin have referred to "The Tester" rather than "the Lord"?

I'm a bad bad man...