Honorverse Humor or lack thereof.

Did we cover what happens when some playground bully tries to pull ye olde "Oh YEAH? Well, my Dad can beat up your Dad/Mom!" on Victor and Thandi's son?

(I can just see the tablet coming out with security footage from the Wages of Sin, followed by the principal's meeting with the parents...)

jchilds wrote:Did we cover what happens when some playground bully tries to pull ye olde "Oh YEAH? Well, my Dad can beat up your Dad/Mom!" on Victor and Thandi's son?

(I can just see the tablet coming out with security footage from the Wages of Sin, followed by the principal's meeting with the parents...)

Gets a tad more awkward when Raoul or Katherine say it.

From another topic -

Spacekiwi wrote:

TheMonster wrote:

Thirdbase wrote:A treecat will not be bonding with Cachat, Cachat will be bonding with a treecat. A subtle difference.

Victor Cachat Facts
Victor Cachat's treecat name is "Victor Cachat."
Getting information from an Andermani source, he is able to do so speaking fluent German ... in French.
Cobras refuse to bite him as a matter of professional courtesy.
Victor Cachat doesn't dial the wrong comm combination. You answer the wrong phone.
Ghosts sit around the campfire and tell Victor Cachat stories.
Fear of enclosed spaces is "claustrophobia". Fear of open spaces is "agoraphobia". Fear of Victor Cachat is "self-preservation".
Queen Berry wanted to name a street on Torch for Victor Cachat but her father pointed out the problem: "No one crosses Victor Cachat and lives."

Victor Cachat: the man the monsters are afraid of.
Victor Cachat: the man who gets told everything by the torturer when he is tied up by them
Victor Cachat: The first person to survive in space for 24 hours without a skinsuit.
Victor Cachat: He once defeated a SD by looking at it with dagger eyes.
Victor Cachat: He doesn't do push ups, he pushes the earth down.
Victor Cachat: The man who offered his body as a weaponagainst the repressors of Haven, and his boss refused, as he didnt want an eridani edict on his consciousness.

So, let's continue with more Victor Cachat facts:-

Chuck Norris is afraid of no-one, except Victor Cachat.
Batman wishes he was Victor Cachat.
Treecats worship Victor Cachat as a god.
The Mesan Gamma Center wasn't destroyed by a bomb, the self-destruct device was the uncorking of a DNA sample from Victor Cachat.
Kratos worships Victor Cachat.
Darkseid runs away from Victor Cachat.
Galactus refuses to enter any universe where there is a Victor Cachat.
God started the universe by saying "Let there be light" only after getting Victor Cachat's approval.
Even the image of Victor Cachat can destroy a SD by glaring daggers at it.
Sherlock Holmes learned how to be a detective from Victor Cachat.
When Victor Cachat gets angry, his glare can shatter planets. That's why there's an asteroid belt between Earth and Mars.
Keill Randor would back down from a fight with Victor Cachat.
Every known sentient species has the same two words for planetary devastation - Victor Cachat.
The Culture doesn't f*ck with Victor Cachat.
The power of the Dark Side is insignificant compared to Victor Cachat.

Mange, <Well we are on the bottom of the page again, Chief.>

Chief, "Lots of discussion on new topics, and RFC let a few crumbs of coming attractions fall pounced on by us ravenous fans. Another discussion on retrofiring, again."

<Kinda like your jokes as old as the hills and twice as dusty, eh Chief Big Mouth?>

"Watch it you six limbed walking flea circus, but as it happens I'm going to recycle someting from the Free Range forum. There was a discussion on the existance of God and I found a link to The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galxay where man proves God does not exist:"

pokermind wrote:Hi all.

Something light in this weighty discussion the proof that God does not exist from The Hitchiker's Guide to the Galaxy, Enjoy:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=p5mWQFGF7w8

Mange, <I wouldn't give a pair of feted dingo's kidneys! They taste too good!>

Poker & Mange

<Well Chief you had one against God so for Equal time How to Make an Atheist's Head Explode:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=z0DT6uljSbg&feature=related

Just for fun.>

"Oh brother! Mange are you trying to start a religious war in the Humor column?"

<Not really just giving equal time to the sides, Enjoy.>

A Manticoran admiral, a Grayson admiral and a Solarian admiral are all sitting around the flag bridge eating their lunch. The Manticoran admiral looks at his sandwich and grimaces.

"Celery again! My steward knows I hate celery! I swear, if he gives me celery again I'm going to step out an airlock!"

The Grayson admiral looks at his sandwich and makes a face.

"Squash again! My wives know I'm allergic to squash! I swear, if they give me squash again I'm going to step out an airlock!"

The Solarian admiral looks at his sandwich and makes a face like sour spinach.

"Montanan beef lightly garnished with Sphinxian horseradish! Again! My steward, Admiral Stew, knows I hate Montanan beef lightly garnished with Sphinxian horseradish! I swear, if he gives me Montanan beef lightly garnished with Sphinxian horseradish again, I'm going to step out an airlock!"

The next day comes, and they gather for lunch on the flag deck again.

The Manticoran looks at his sandwich, sighs, and immediately steps out of an airlock. The Grayson looks at his sandwich, curses the tester, and immediately steps out an airlock. The Solarian looks at his sandwich, makes a quiet sound of disbelief, and steps out an airlock.

The following day, the three friends funerals are held together, with their weeping and wailing families nearby.

"I don't understand!" cries the Manticoran's steward. "If only he'd told me he doesn't like celery...!"

"Dear Tester, why?" cry the Grayson's wives. "We always thought squash was his favourite!"

Admiral Stew stares at the coffin in perplexity and mumbles "But...he makes his own sandwiches..."

***

Following in the tradition of NATO, several Honorverse navies have developed 'Reporting names' for foreign-flagged ships.

Invictus-class superdreadnought:
Havenite - Not again!
Grayson - Could Be Improved
Solarian - EW illusion, it has to be!

Saganami-C-class heavy cruiser:
Havenite - Trouble
Grayson - Someone stole our ideas again...
Solarian - That's a battlecruiser, it has to be!

Roland-class destroyer:
Havenite - Shannon, think of something fast!
Grayson - I bet Miss Owens could command one of those...
Solarian - Greatest threat ever!

Scientist-class superdreadnought:
Havenite - Aww, ain't it cute?
Manticoran - Target Practice.

Okay. I did some Victor Cachat facts earlier, now let's see what I can do with his best friend, Anton Zilwicki, 3-time gold-medalist at the Manticoran Games (Greco-Roman wrestling).

Anton Zilwicki's scowl can freeze an SD at a thousand light-seconds.
Anton Zilwicki taught logical thinking to Spock.
Anton Zilwicki is so tough that Chuck Norris' roundhouse kick merely makes him say "ouch".
Anton Zilwicki doesn't lift weights. That's because to him everything is feather-light.
Anton Zilwicki once got into a staring contest with a granite mountain. The mountain blinked first.
Anton Zilwicki can hack into any computer system with just three paper-clips, a pencil and a pet hamster. The hamster is for him to stroke while he does it.
Anton Zilwicki would have reprogrammed HAL before it went mad.
Anton Zilwicki would have reprogrammed the Terminator before it could kill him.
Anton Zilwicki would have had no need to reprogram the Terminator, since he has Victor Cachat as backup, and Victor is the super-prototype of the Terminator.
Anton Zilwicki is the only man who can restrain Victor Cachat. Think about that.
Bill Gates wishes he was as skilled with computers as Anton Zilwicki.
Oracle wishes she was as skilled with computers as Anton Zilwicki.
The Minds of the Culture wish they were as skilled with computers as Anton Zilwicki.
Anton Zilwicki once killed a Scrag bare-handed.
Anton Zilwicki could kill a Hexapuma bare-handed.
Anton Zilwicki could wrestle a Kryptonian to a standstill.
Anton Zilwicki would have won the battle of wits against the Dread Pirate Roberts.

Anyone else have character facts about any Honorverse characters?
Let's see what you've got...

Michael Everett wrote:Okay. I did some Victor Cachat facts earlier, now let's see what I can do with his best friend, Anton Zilwicki, 3-time gold-medalist at the Manticoran Games (Greco-Roman wrestling).

Anton Zilwicki's scowl can freeze an SD at a thousand light-seconds.
Anton Zilwicki taught logical thinking to Spock.
Anton Zilwicki is so tough that Chuck Norris' roundhouse kick merely makes him say "ouch".
Anton Zilwicki doesn't lift weights. That's because to him everything is feather-light.
Anton Zilwicki once got into a staring contest with a granite mountain. The mountain blinked first.
Anton Zilwicki can hack into any computer system with just three paper-clips, a pencil and a pet hamster. The hamster is for him to stroke while he does it.
Anton Zilwicki would have reprogrammed HAL before it went mad.
Anton Zilwicki would have reprogrammed the Terminator before it could kill him.
Anton Zilwicki would have had no need to reprogram the Terminator, since he has Victor Cachat as backup, and Victor is the super-prototype of the Terminator.
Anton Zilwicki is the only man who can restrain Victor Cachat. Think about that.
Bill Gates wishes he was as skilled with computers as Anton Zilwicki.
Oracle wishes she was as skilled with computers as Anton Zilwicki.
The Minds of the Culture wish they were as skilled with computers as Anton Zilwicki.
Anton Zilwicki once killed a Scrag bare-handed.
Anton Zilwicki could kill a Hexapuma bare-handed.
Anton Zilwicki could wrestle a Kryptonian to a standstill.
Anton Zilwicki would have won the battle of wits against the Dread Pirate Roberts.

Anyone else have character facts about any Honorverse characters?
Let's see what you've got...

Most of the above facts about Anton Zilwicki appear to be in fun.
But the fact that Anton Zilwicki killed a Scrag bare-handed is actually in the short story From the Highlands, part of the Changer of Worlds anthology.

@Vince follow the Link please.

Not to be overshadowed by her much more accomplished father:

The only person that can make both Anton and Victor behave is Queen Berry. Now think about THAT
Queen Berry talks quietly and brings Thandi Palane along.
The only person more physically deadly than Victor is his girlfriend Thandi. And she obeys Berry Zilwicki.
Berry Zilwicki is the only person who can take a mouse as her shield - and make it bad@ss.
Queen Berry makes Audubon Ballroom wipe its feet and wash the blood of their hands before talking to her. We do not talk of those who failed to do so.

Hellen Zilwicki can mop the floor with three battle armored marines - without trying.
Hellen Zilwicki was thought the roundhouse kick by Chuck Norris.
Hellen Zilwicki can punch out an SD.
Hellen Zilwicki still cannot outfight her father - Her father has twenty bucks she'll manage it by her thirthieth birthday. Victor has thirty bucks on her twenty seventh.

yannosh wrote:@Vince follow the Link please.

Not to be overshadowed by her much more accomplished father:

The only person that can make both Anton and Victor behave is Queen Berry. Now think about THAT
Queen Berry talks quietly and brings Thandi Palane along.
The only person more physically deadly than Victor is his girlfriend Thandi. And she obeys Berry Zilwicki.
Berry Zilwicki is the only person who can take a mouse as her shield - and make it bad@ss.
Queen Berry makes Audubon Ballroom wipe its feet and wash the blood of their hands before talking to her. We do not talk of those who failed to do so.

Hellen Zilwicki can mop the floor with three battle armored marines - without trying.
Hellen Zilwicki was thought the roundhouse kick by Chuck Norris.
Hellen Zilwicki can punch out an SD.
Hellen Zilwicki still cannot outfight her father - Her father has twenty bucks she'll manage it by her thirthieth birthday. Victor has thirty bucks on her twenty seventh.

And I have $50 on her 21st, while having her 21st birthday party, and tipsy......


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its not paranoia if its justified....
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Spacekiwi wrote:And I have $50 on her 21st, while having her 21st birthday party, and tipsy......


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its not paranoia if its justified....
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She's 22...