Honorverse Humor or lack thereof.

Mange, <What's happening in the Honor-verse?>

Chief, "Same old same old. Was a question on the next books so I got in my way back machine and found a thread from around Christmas on the books coming that is worth a tour:"

http://forums.davidweber.net/viewtopic.php?f=1&t=2611&hilit=Next+young+adult+book

Got a joke for today?"

<Naturally, why do treecats like playing Frisbee rather than with other sports equipment?>

"I give, why?"

<Baseballs are too hard, sing true hands, footballs and basket balls are too large, golf balls you need a club, tennis balls you need a racquet, but with a Frisbee you just throw and catch. Ready to go to the Chinaman's?>

CPO Poker Mind SOB = Squid On Beach, and Mangy Fur the Smart Alick Spacecat First.

"Oh brother, don't you ever get enough shrimp and celery egg-rolls!"

<No!>

"Shave and a haircut:"

<Bleek Bleek>

Mange, <What's happening in the Honor-verse?>

Chief, "Same old same old. Still arguement that small ships have a place in line of battle against pod layers or even older wallers. A comparison between the Honorvrse and Star Trek in battle, ect.

So Mange got a joke for today?"

<Naturally, why do treecats like playing Treecat Frisbee?>

"I give, why?"

<It allows us to practice our hunting skills.>

CPO Poker Mind SOB = Squid On Beach, and Mangy Fur the Smart Alick Spacecat First.

"Oh brother, OK, Mange Shave and a haircut:"

"Bleek Bleek" <What happened to the new joker did you scare her off?>

"Nah, she said to ask for another joke. Please Admiral Star Night another joke to save the Honorverse denizens from another lame one from Mange."

<Not funny, Chief!> :p

"Well you asked for it. And don't worry about scaring me off, I've seen scarier faces in the the local supermart, nothing can scare me now!"

< Immature Admiral, I'm surpised the Admiralty keeps you in service. >
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Galactic Psychiatric Hotline
...

Hello. Welcome to the Psychiatric Hotline

If you are an obsessive-compulsive True-Believer, please press 1 repeatedly.

If you are co-dependent Committee member, please ask someone to press 2.

If you have a Silesian with multiple personalities, please press 3, 4, 5, and 6.

If you are paranoid-delusional State Security head, we know who you are and what you want. Just stay on the line so we can trace the call.

If you are schizophrenic Liberal Manticorian, listen carefully and a little voice will tell you which number to press.

If you are manic-depressive Earl, it doesn't matter which number you press. No one will answer.

If you are an anxious Sollie, just start pressing numbers at random.

If you are phobic bureaucrat, don't press anything.

If you are an anal retentive armsman, armswoman or body guard, please hold.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Guess which character(s) goes to each direction. Have fun!

Mange, <What's happening in the Honor-verse?>

Chief, "Same old same old. Still arguments that you treecats should become your own nation. As a treecat what's your take."

<Joining the navy makes me a citizen of Manticore so I don't need a separate star nation. I doubt the clans on Sphinx would agree to form a unified government. Many clans formed due to differences in opinion among the members thus forming two clans from one. What about freedom of thought and government gives you two legs the most trouble?>

"Not me you have taught me a lot. So Mange got a joke for today?"

<Naturally, why do the People like our clan govenment?>

"I give, why?"

<It allows us to be free of governmental restraints that you stupid two-legs put up with. Some stupid two leg bureaucrats I could just rend with tooth and claw!>

CPO Poker Mind SOB = Squid On Beach, and Mangy Fur the Smart Alick Spacecat First.

"Like the one that assigned two machinists to an embassy on Grayson?"

<Him I would rend slowly! But then I would miss the Chinaman's Shrimp and Sphinxian celery egg-rolls, and our singing and playing contract with Ronchco.>

"There is that my treat tonight, OK, Mange Shave and a haircut:"

"Bleek Bleek" <What happened to the new joker did you scare her off?>

"Nah, she said she don't scare easy but, to ask for another joke. Please Admiral Star Night another joke to save the Honorverse denizens from another lame one from Mange."

<Not funny, Chief!> :p

Chief, "So Mange were have you been?"

Mange, <Well you see there was this post confusing Terrain Cats and Treecats, well, ugh look for yourself:>

SCF Mangy Fur wrote:

dscott8 wrote:Ladies, Gentlemen and Treecats, please rise for the National Anthem of the Treecat Nation, performed by the Mormon Tubercular Choir:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=n7aLbfgpBPM

Space Cat First Mangy Fur, <Very funny but, we treecats say 'Bleek' not 'Meow' like Terran cats.>

That Smart Alick Spacecat:

<PS: Posted on Wiki the cover of Fire Season the up coming YA book:>



<Enjoy.>

<Oh, two legs a link to the photos on Wiki:

http://honorverse.wikia.com/wiki/Special:NewFiles

Even got a drawing of Ruth Winston for the Fly to drool over. Wiki has a good teaser for those intrested:

http://honorverse.wikia.com/wiki/Fire_Season

Enjoy you treecat fans!>

<PSS: I liked this version of Duetto buffo di due gatti that is G. A. Rossini's the meow song better:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1DinASQRRFA&feature=related.> Mange.

Chief, "Mange I didn't know you were a culture whore."

Mange gives a treecat shrug of the shoulder.

Chief, "Quite the post Mange, did you check out the other cat opera there, Heck here is one in Russian:"

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=qvBZ_nPNOQI&feature=related

"And in German!!"

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Unld3A-Ks-8&feature=watch_response

Mange, <What's the joke?>

CPO Poker Mind SOB = Squid On Beach, and Mangy Fur the Smart Alick Spacecat First.

"This whole post, OK, Mange Shave and a haircut:"

"Bleek Bleek" <Please Admiral Star Night another joke to save the Honorverse denizens from another lame one from the Chief.>

Chief, "Not funny, Mange!" :p

<Hi all you two-leg humor buffs, Spacecat First Mangy Fur here, well my clan name is Black Stone Biter but when I return to the Home Trees it will be Metal Biter what you two-legs call a machinist. I though you might enjoy some real back at the Home Trees humor of the People, ugh what you two-legs call treecats. While the Chief is away, I shall play.

<There was this mischievous youngling, ugh treekitten, who liked to bat at the fire on the hearth and one day the fur on his fore limb caught on fire. Being a youngling he did not know that running only faned the flames and he ran along the tops of the trees the fire spreading to his fur until he got to the creek and jumped in putting out the fire. The Ranger doctor salved his burns and he was called Naked as a Two-Leg for a long time thereafter.>

That Smart Alick Spacecat:

Chief, "Mange I'm home from Baen's Bar."

Mange, <About time you slacker we were on the bottom of the page again, but this time I told the joke without you.>

CPO Poker Mind SOB = Squid On Beach, and Mangy Fur the Smart Alick Spacecat First.

"OK I stand corrected, Mange, Shave and a haircut:"

<You need correcting as bad as a mischievous youngling!>
Mange, "Bleek. Bleek!"

from viewtopic.php?f=1&t=2611&hilit=Next+young+adult+book&start=50#p53942

rawdeal wrote: » Fri Jan 13, 2012 11:50 pm

How many layers to the "onion"??
One, Two-hoo, Three...CRUNCH!!
Three :)

Another refurbed one:

A RMN rear admiral is lecturing her class at the Advanced Tactical Course. She posed the following hypothetical situation for her class. You have a Solarian task force advancing from 30 million klicks and about 30 degrees anti-spinward of your position in orbit around the vital Planet X. You have a Mesan task force at 30 million klicks and about 30 degrees spinward from your position. Your tactical strength is favorable. Which enemy do you fire on first?

A Grayson officer answered, "The Solarian, ma'am."

"On what basis did you arrive at this solution?" the admiral replied.

The Grayson responded, "My justification is business before pleasure, ma'am."

ncwolf wrote:Another refurbed one:

A RMN rear admiral is lecturing her class at the Advanced Tactical Course. She posed the following hypothetical situation for her class. You have a Solarian task force advancing from 30 million klicks and about 30 degrees anti-spinward of your position in orbit around the vital Planet X. You have a Mesan task force at 30 million klicks and about 30 degrees spinward from your position. Your tactical strength is favorable. Which enemy do you fire on first?

A Grayson officer answered, "The Solarian, ma'am."

"On what basis did you arrive at this solution?" the admiral replied.

The Grayson responded, "My justification is business before pleasure, ma'am."

This reminds of a joke about the reunification of Germany. The East and West German governments were arguing about where the location of the new capital would be. The East Germans wanted Paris, and the West Germans wanted Moscow.

"Got a few jokes for you. Though Snowfire will not be joining me today, she is somewhere else, doing what, I don't know, but here are the jokes."
~~~~~~~~

A professor who taught advanced tactics stood before his class of 30 senior midshipmen/women at Saganami Island, about to hand out the final exam. "I want to say that it's been a pleasure teaching you this semester. I know you've all worked extremely hard and many of you are off to serve in the Grand Fleet after summer. So that no one gets their GPA messed up because they might have been celebrating a bit too much this week, anyone who would like to opt out of the final exam today will receive a 'B' for the course."

There was much rejoicing in the class as midshipmen got up, walked to the front of the class, and took the professor up on his offer. As the last taker left the room, the professor looked out over the handful of remaining students and asked, "Anyone else? This is your last chance."

One final midshipwoman rose up and opted out of the final. The professor closed the door and took attendance of those students remaining. "I'm glad to see you believe in yourself," he said. "You all get 'A's."
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

While Honor was teaching at Saganami Island, there was one new midshipman named James Freeman that was quiet, but very good at his work. He usually sat at the back of the classroom and tapped notes with a diligence that she admired.

One day Honor had assigned a tactical problem to him and few other students and she wanted a written paper on how the math for it breaks down.

The other students turned it in on time, but the new midshipman walked in a little late, having a few bruises on his face and arms and no homework.

"Mr. Freeman, where is your homework?" Honor asked cooly.

Freeman looked at the class, who was silent and watching, waiting for some lame excuse for the reason he didn't have his homework. Then he turned back to Honor and said,

"I lost it fighting with this other midshipman who said you were not the best teacher in this school."
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

One month at a duty posting on Haven, a Manticoran military base(With a civilian settlement nearby for soldiers' families) Commander said that no soldier may take any day off becasue they were so short on trained manpower until the next T-month.

The same afternoon a Petty Officer approched the CO about taking the day off.

"Didn't you here what I said just two hours earlier PO?" The Commander said sharply.

"Yes Sir," The man replied, "But my wife is expecting to get pregnant this afternoon, and I want to be there when it happens."

The Commander gave the PO the rest of the day off.