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Honorverse Humor or lack thereof.

Join us in talking discussing all things Honor, including (but not limited to) tactics, favorite characters, and book discussions.
Re: Honorverse Humor or lack thereof.
Post by pokermind   » Fri Jan 13, 2012 9:46 pm

pokermind
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Chief Poker Mind, "Well another day out with our driver dealing with his rental house."

Spacecat First Mangy Fur, <I know and you left me here alone. You know how hard it is for me to open the ancient doors with nobs, I could just bite.>

"That would be assault on a superior enlisted rating, Mange."

<I can't read the regulations, so I would get off.>

"Ignorance of the law is no excuse, Mange."

<I though you didn't like lawyer jokes?>

"That was no joke, speaking of which you got one?"

<What do you call a female treecat in heat?>

"OK, I'll bite, what?"
<My dream date.> "Bleek, bleek, bleek," Image

"Oh, brother! Any more?"

<You know I saw Laughs Brightly when I visited the Flag Ship the other day he told me one Leaf Catcher told him in Soul of Steel's tower.>

"Was it good?"

<I think so. Why does Soul of Steel wish to be like the Queen of Hearts in Alice in Wonderland?>

"I give up, Why?"

<So she can say 'Off with their head,' and heads actually roll.> "Bleek, bleek, bleek," Image

"Could have been worse, well since you were cooped up all day I'll buy the Egg Rolls at the Chinaman's tonight."

CPO Poker Mind Image SOB = Squid On Beach, and Mangy Fur the Smart Alick Spacecat First.

Mange later in a pause while eating his shrimp and celery egg rolls, <You are forgiven, Chief. Besides I'd rather bite these egg rolls they taste better than you.>
CPO Poker Mind Image and, Mangy Fur the Smart Alick Spacecat.

"Better to be hung for a hexapuma than a housecat," Com. Pang Yau-pau, ART.
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Re: Honorverse Humor or lack thereof.
Post by pokermind   » Sat Jan 14, 2012 5:22 pm

pokermind
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Joined: Tue Oct 25, 2011 8:58 am
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Spacecat First Mangy Fur, <Chief, your head is all battered, bruised, and bloody?>

"Posted a suggestion for a E-Magazine in the forum and I'm the only one for it."

<Silly two-leg you know Runs For Celery (RFC) will not allow it.>

"In all probability, but if I don't ask there is even less of a chance."

<What else is going on in the Honorverse site?>

"Well Namelessfly and Duckk are at it hammer and tongs again, and Duckk had to tattle to daddy, and now RFC is in the fight."

<Poor RFC he should be writing books not posts. Anything else?>

"Well Fly is being naughty again."

<Is that why the Duckk called on daddy?>

"No, the Fly gave two links to risque photos, and just had a thread yanked, for political content I think."

<What is the Fly a pervert?>

"No, just another non-prudish older gentleman."

<You mean another Dirty Old Man like yourself?>

"Well I tried to put it a little more politely, Mange. Oh before I forget I suggested a story to the Fly about treecat gossip in Spoiler Treecats."

<Oh what was the gossip?>

"Can't repeat it here Fan-Fic you know."

<Drats!>

CPO Poker Mind Image SOB = Squid On Beach, and Mangy Fur the Smart Alick Spacecat First.

Mange, <Oh we forgot to tell a joke so I will tell a joke. One of the People you two-legs call Silky-Fur became a psychiatrist. And a two-leg, perhaps a namelessfly from the Baen's Bar came in with a fixation on the two-leg female mammary glands.

<Silky Fur began with a word association test:

<Silky Fur: Namelessfly:
< Tomatoes? Breasts.
< Cantaloupes? Breasts.
< Watermelons? Breasts.
< Windshield Wipers? Breasts.

<Shocked at the last answer, Silky Fur said, 'I have seen two-leg females with tomato sized breasts, even with cantaloupe sized breasts, and I can stretch my imagination to watermelon sized breasts, but how do you get a connection between windshield wipers and female two-leg breasts?'

<Namelessfly puckers his lips and moving his head back and fourth goes, sound of "kiss- kiss- kiss- ..."> "Bleek, bleek, bleek," Image

"You told that one already, Mange."

<Yes but it is a good one, and we did mention Namelessfly in the dialog.>
CPO Poker Mind Image and, Mangy Fur the Smart Alick Spacecat.

"Better to be hung for a hexapuma than a housecat," Com. Pang Yau-pau, ART.
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Re: Honorverse Humor or lack thereof.
Post by pokermind   » Sun Jan 15, 2012 5:47 pm

pokermind
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Joined: Tue Oct 25, 2011 8:58 am
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Spacecat First Mangy Fur <Chief where have you been?>

Chief Poker Mind, "Out on the Honorverse site."

<Anything happening?>

"Well I answered a Snotty thus:

pokermind wrote:
Hallofaman wrote:OK what do I know, I am only a Middy after all.... :)

By langhorn and tester alike, no wonder it takes DW so long to write his books. The reserch the he must do to keep you slashlizerds and hexapumas off him must be staggering!! :)


OK where to begin, Dave must have told the Duckk to post the thread on Frigates with the comment that they were stone tablets engraved by the finger of RFC.

But lo the wicked Cheopis would not be cowed until he was heard, and wow did that generate a big thread, still receiving posts as the wicked Cheopis will not repent and say his hail Honors.

And lo another transgressor the lusty Namelessfly posted about a strategic error made by the Havenites. He and the Duckk went after each other mightily hammer and tong until the Duckk tattled to daddy and lo another epistle from RFC.

Not to mention the young Charles83 who complained on some points in the stories drawing the wrath of the great RFC with an explanation of how characters change, what he meant by the 6 light minute rule, etc.

He has replied to others on the site including the other jolly fat man on site, me. But at least I got us an Idea of what the publishing schedule might be. Read through the Next Book Pleaseeee thread.

Sometimes I think RFC uses posts here for relaxation as factual writing is far easier than fiction, you are puking what you know, not having to create it mentally first then write it. Just saying.

Poker Mind

PS To Hallofaman, David loves to teach, teachers love the changeling students not the brown nosers, and so my advice, young man, is go out and sin for yourself.

PSS:

Yea though I taketh a ride of death
I shall fear no evil
For Honor Harrington is with me
And she is the Best Damn Admiral in the Galaxy
But I'm wearing a red shirt! Testor, help me!!


<Making fun of either The Testor or RFC could get you into trouble here on Grayson.>

"That's a fact Jack. I even pulled at the Duckk's tail-feathers a tad, Mange. Most of the rest is tech stuff. Oh they pulled one of the Fly's threads and he re-posted on Free Range, political content I imagine Modern events validate tolerance for Mesa?. Devil that I am I PMed the Fly with a suggested response to the Duckk, 'Might I suggest, "Duckk when you do this Image to me removing a perfectly legitimate thread I want to do this Image to you." Just saying.' and the suggestion to go Free Range."

<Oh, you are living dangerously, Chief. Well are you telling the joke or am I?>

"Take it Mange."

<Why does Runs For Celery sometimes get testy in his posts?>

"Some one criticizes his writing unfairly?"

<That too, but I was thinking of your post above, he visits and posts while he is already pissed by writers block.>

CPO Poker Mind Image SOB = Squid On Beach, and Mangy Fur the Smart Alick Spacecat First.

"Not too funny, but perhaps true."
CPO Poker Mind Image and, Mangy Fur the Smart Alick Spacecat.

"Better to be hung for a hexapuma than a housecat," Com. Pang Yau-pau, ART.
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Re: Honorverse Humor or lack thereof.
Post by pokermind   » Mon Jan 16, 2012 8:40 pm

pokermind
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Posts: 4002
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Mange, <Where have you been?>

Chief, "After three years of trying finally got on Baen's Bar, but typo-ed my site name polermind not pokermind. Oops!"

<Any thing going-on on this site?>

"Well posted a new topic, Is runsforcelery wasting his writing time on posts,or is it writer's block."

<And how are the Honorversians responding?>

"So far just like me, He's a big boy let him manage his time as he sees fit. Oh just got another vote for a E-Magazine on the Honorverse."

<Well at least you are not alone in crying for one anymore, You got a joke I'm tap city?>

"OK as a treecat answer what is 2 + 2?"

<You know the People don't do numbers well.>

"2 + 2 = 10 or two fingers plus two fingers equal one hand."

<That I understand show me more, maybe finally the People will understand two-leg mathematics.>

CPO Poker Mind Image SOB = Squid On Beach, and Mangy Fur the Smart Alick Spacecat First.

"100 this is a hand of hands, and 1,000 is a hand of hand of hands ..."

Will Mange learn base four mathematics, and become a super hacker, tune in tomorrow same bat time, same bat channel.
CPO Poker Mind Image and, Mangy Fur the Smart Alick Spacecat.

"Better to be hung for a hexapuma than a housecat," Com. Pang Yau-pau, ART.
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Re: Honorverse Humor or lack thereof.
Post by pokermind   » Wed Jan 18, 2012 2:15 pm

pokermind
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Mange, <Where are you going, Chief?>

Chief, "Over to Baen's Bar to work on a story I submitted."

<You are not leaving without a joke are you?>

"Ok, what do you get when you cross a treecat and a Baen's Bar barfly?"

<I'll bite, what?>

"A hexapuma with wings."

<Oh, that's a groaner.>

Poker Mind, Adeu Y'all.
CPO Poker Mind Image and, Mangy Fur the Smart Alick Spacecat.

"Better to be hung for a hexapuma than a housecat," Com. Pang Yau-pau, ART.
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Re: Honorverse Humor or lack thereof.
Post by pokermind   » Thu Jan 19, 2012 2:27 am

pokermind
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Posts: 4002
Joined: Tue Oct 25, 2011 8:58 am
Location: Jerome, Idaho, USA

Posted a couple of my Honorvers jokes on Baen's Bar some one responded:

csadn has posted a message entitled Honorverse Humor, or lack thereof.

The following message was posted on: 1/18/2012 09:39:31 PM

Q: Why was the treecat executed for treason?

A: Someone asked it how the war situation looked, and it said "BLEEK!"

Mange, <Not funny.>
CPO Poker Mind Image and, Mangy Fur the Smart Alick Spacecat.

"Better to be hung for a hexapuma than a housecat," Com. Pang Yau-pau, ART.
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Re: Honorverse Humor or lack thereof.
Post by pokermind   » Sun Jan 22, 2012 12:14 am

pokermind
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Posts: 4002
Joined: Tue Oct 25, 2011 8:58 am
Location: Jerome, Idaho, USA

Mange, <Where have you been, it's been two days!>

Chief, "Over at Baen's Bar sowing hate and discontent."

<Sounds like you, how are the stories coming?>

"One has a good chance I think Rick Boatright and I are working on it to whip it into shape. The other the editor doesn't like flash of light stories, or those with technical details. If she visited the Honorverse she would die of Apoplexy."

<That's a fact, Jack. Got a joke?>

"Well one of the Bar-Flies gave a funny answer to a question."

<I,ll bite what question and answer?>

"Well sowing hate and discontent I asked if they stoned Blasphemers against canon in the Bar, and if you got a cigarette and blind fold?"

<You have been a naughty boy, the answer?>

"Do to Federal regulations you cannot smoke in the Bar, we will give you a stick of Nicorette, but no blind fold for you, we blind fold the rock throwers."

CPO Poker Mind Image SOB = Squid On Beach, and Mangy Fur the Smart Alick Spacecat First.
CPO Poker Mind Image and, Mangy Fur the Smart Alick Spacecat.

"Better to be hung for a hexapuma than a housecat," Com. Pang Yau-pau, ART.
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Re: Honorverse Humor or lack thereof.
Post by Werrf   » Sun Jan 22, 2012 6:50 pm

Werrf
Vice Admiral

Posts: 1549
Joined: Thu May 12, 2011 7:47 am
Location: Cleveland, OH

What do you call the Salamander skimming over the forests of Sphinx in a pinnace, tossing celery out to the blue-red treecats below?

A one-eyed, one-armed, flying purple People treater.

Why did Honor and Hamish cross the road?

To get to the other bride.

Why are there so many bathrooms in the House of Lords?

Because it's full of Peers.

Why did Anton Zilwicki flee from his girlfriend's new co-workers?

Because he'd heard they were all MPs

Why do Havenite aircars have a heating element in the rear window?

To keep your hands warm while you're pushing it.

How do you double the value of a Solarian SD?

Fill its bunkers with hydrogen.

(A little more risque...)

What's the difference between being caught with your hand in a Beowulfan sailor's bra and being caught in a Solarian battlecruiser?

You feel a bigger tit in a Solarian battlecruiser.

Hey, CPO Poker Mind, what's the difference between a wormhole terminus and the most destructive black hole ever discovered in the explored universe?
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Re: Honorverse Humor or lack thereof.
Post by pokermind   » Sun Jan 22, 2012 11:18 pm

pokermind
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Posts: 4002
Joined: Tue Oct 25, 2011 8:58 am
Location: Jerome, Idaho, USA

CPO Poker Mind,"I'll bite, what's the difference between a wormhole terminus and the most destructive black hole ever discovered in the explored universe?"

Spacecat First Mangy Fur, <I'll bite too, and if I don't like the answer even claw a tad.>

"Mange You're starting to sound more like me."

<That's because I am you silly two-leg treecats are fictional beings that authors put words in their mouths.> "Bleek, bleek, bleek," Image

CPO Poker Mind Image SOB = Squid On Beach, and Mangy Fur the Smart Alick Spacecat First.
CPO Poker Mind Image and, Mangy Fur the Smart Alick Spacecat.

"Better to be hung for a hexapuma than a housecat," Com. Pang Yau-pau, ART.
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Re: Honorverse Humor or lack thereof.
Post by Werrf   » Sun Jan 22, 2012 11:45 pm

Werrf
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Posts: 1549
Joined: Thu May 12, 2011 7:47 am
Location: Cleveland, OH

pokermind wrote:CPO Poker Mind,"I'll bite, what's the difference between a wormhole terminus and the most destructive black hole ever discovered in the explored universe?"

Spacecat First Mangy Fur, <I'll bite too, and if I don't like the answer even claw a tad.>

Well, I'm not hiring either of you for an astrogation position, then!
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