Honorverse Humor or lack thereof.

Spacekiwi wrote:

pokermind wrote:SPOILER JOKE:



















Knock knock

Mesa, "Who's there?"

Andy

Mesa, "Andy who?"

"Der Andermani Navy, und you are under arrest, mine herrs."

CPO Poker Mind, "Got a better one, post it, and I'll toast it, Prost."

<How many two-legs does it take to mind-talk to the People?>

<All of them and they still can't do it the mind-blind wretches.>

Spacecat First Mangy Fur, "Bleek, bleek, bleek ..."

Did you hear about the treecat interrogator that was arrested for cruel and unusual torture? he had been tying celery to his prisoners and dropping them in a room of treecat kittens. Most of his prisoners came out screaming, and every single one of them had nightmares about vegetables for weeks after....

And then there's the tried and true method the use of the Rauncho-co -Cat-o-matic:

On holoscreans on Manticore a commercial. A treecat RMMC in treecat powered armor uses his vibro-blade claws to turn a head of lettuce and a carrot into coleslaw in a blur of his six limbs.

While the announcer intones in great enthusiasm, "Introducing the newest from Raunch-co the new -Cat-o-matic it slices it dices ..."

Never send in a treekitten to do a treecat marine's work. How many times do I have to tell you officers don't PO mud-marines!

pokermind wrote:

Spacekiwi wrote:

pokermind wrote:SPOILER JOKE:



















Knock knock

Mesa, "Who's there?"

Andy

Mesa, "Andy who?"

"Der Andermani Navy, und you are under arrest, mine herrs."

CPO Poker Mind, "Got a better one, post it, and I'll toast it, Prost."

<How many two-legs does it take to mind-talk to the People?>

<All of them and they still can't do it the mind-blind wretches.>

Spacecat First Mangy Fur, "Bleek, bleek, bleek ..."

Did you hear about the treecat interrogator that was arrested for cruel and unusual torture? he had been tying celery to his prisoners and dropping them in a room of treecat kittens. Most of his prisoners came out screaming, and every single one of them had nightmares about vegetables for weeks after....

And then there's the tried and true method the use of the Rauncho-co -Cat-o-matic:

On holoscreans on Manticore a commercial. A treecat RMMC in treecat powered armor uses his vibro-blade claws to turn a head of lettuce and a carrot into coleslaw in a blur of his six limbs.

While the announcer intones in great enthusiasm, "Introducing the newest from Raunch-co the new -Cat-o-matic it slices it dices ..."

Never send in a treekitten to do a treecat marine's work. How many times do I have to tell you officers don't PO mud-marines!

Did you see the explosions in iran recently? apparently the western world is air dropping steven seagal and chuck norris into iran.... to keep them out of the way of a treecat they pissed of in a barfight....

Spacekiwi wrote:
Did you hear about the treecat interrogator that was arrested for cruel and unusual torture? he had been tying celery to his prisoners and dropping them in a room of treecat kittens. Most of his prisoners came out screaming, and every single one of them had nightmares about vegetables for weeks after....

pokermind wrote:And then there's the tried and true method the use of the Rauncho-co -Cat-o-matic:

On holoscreans on Manticore a commercial. A treecat RMMC in treecat powered armor uses his vibro-blade claws to turn a head of lettuce and a carrot into coleslaw in a blur of his six limbs.

While the announcer intones in great enthusiasm, "Introducing the newest from Raunch-co the new -Cat-o-matic it slices it dices ..."

Never send in a treekitten to do a treecat marine's work. How many times do I have to tell you officers don't PO mud-marines!

Did you see the explosions in iran recently? apparently the western world is air dropping steven seagal and chuck norris into iran.... to keep them out of the way of a treecat they pissed of in a barfight....

Is half a world away far enough to escape an enraged treecat marine? Or would we get a "Slice of Steven Seagal and a Chuck Steak of Chuck Norris," perhaps?





PS Got this back from David Weber:

runsforcelery wrote:

pokermind wrote:

Hope you and yours have a merry one. PS thanks for recommending Dragon Naturally Speaking in your FAQs,I figured if a professional used it I should, but I use it's read feature more than its typing.

And Merry Christmas back to you. And raise you a Happy New Year, too!

runsforcelery wrote:

pokermind wrote:

Hope you and yours have a merry one. PS thanks for recommending Dragon Naturally Speaking in your FAQs,I figured if a professional used it I should, but I use it's read feature more than its typing.

And Merry Christmas back to you. And raise you a Happy New Year, too!

CPO Poker Mind, "Well Mange it must be awesome to have your ultimate creator runsforcelery wish you a Merry Christmas and a Happy New Year."

SpaceCat First (SCF) Mangy Fur, <He just wish you Merry Christmas and Happy New Year stupid two-leg.>

"Well you were on the card. Hey Mange why don't you wear your skinsuit all the time in the ducts to keep you fur clean?"

<Oh, you wear yours all the time with those oh so fun plumbing connections?>

"Got me there, Mange. How about a joke?"

<Why are two-legs like Sphinxian Chipmunks?>

"Don't know, Mange. Why?"

<They prey and startle easily.> "Bleek, bleek, bleek ..."

"Miserable six legged Flea Circus, mumble, mumble, mumble, ..."

runsforcelery wrote:

pokermind wrote:

Hope you and yours have a merry one. PS thanks for recommending Dragon Naturally Speaking in your FAQs,I figured if a professional used it I should, but I use it's read feature more than its typing.

And Merry Christmas back to you. And raise you a Happy New Year, too!

CPO Poker Mind, "Well Mange it must be awesome to have your ultimate creator runsforcelery wish you a Merry Christmas and a Happy New Year."

SpaceCat First (SCF) Mangy Fur, <He just wish you Merry Christmas and Happy New Year stupid two-leg.>

"Well you were on the card. Hey Mange why don't you wear your skinsuit all the time in the ducts to keep you fur clean?"

<Oh, you wear yours all the time with those oh so fun plumbing connections?>

"Got me there, Mange. How about a joke?"

<Why are two-legs like Sphinxian Chipmunks?>

"Don't know, Mange. Why?"

<They prey and startle easily.> "Bleek, bleek, bleek ..."

"Miserable six legged Flea Circus, mumble, mumble, mumble, ..."

pokermind wrote:

runsforcelery wrote:

pokermind wrote:

Hope you and yours have a merry one. PS thanks for recommending Dragon Naturally Speaking in your FAQs,I figured if a professional used it I should, but I use it's read feature more than its typing.

And Merry Christmas back to you. And raise you a Happy New Year, too!

CPO Poker Mind, "Well Mange it must be awesome to have your ultimate creator runsforcelery wish you a Merry Christmas and a Happy New Year."

SpaceCat First (SCF) Mangy Fur, <He just wish you Merry Christmas and Happy New Year stupid two-leg.>

"Well you were on the card. Hey Mange why don't you wear your skinsuit all the time in the ducts to keep you fur clean?"

<Oh, you wear yours all the time with those oh so fun plumbing connections?>

"Got me there, Mange. How about a joke?"

<Why are two-legs like Sphinxian Chipmunks?>

"Don't know, Mange. Why?"

<They prey and startle easily.> "Bleek, bleek, bleek ..."

"Miserable six legged Flea Circus, mumble, mumble, mumble, ..."

"Well mange they don't like the collar one thinks you need a vest like Ed Norton and another a collar with the sign language interpreter spread out with two cameras for binocular vision, and no rank. What do you think Mange?"



<I like the vest, keeps more dirt out of my fur. Rank is two-leg stuff the People just do what is needed. As to the design of the sign language interpreter that too is a two-leg problem.>

"How many treecats does it take to change a light bulb?"

<NONE! changing light bulbs is a two-leg job, the People are too short.>

"Damn literal six limbed flea circus! According to Admiral Werrf the answer is one hand."

<Language Chief this is a PG-13 Site, and didn't you two-legs quit using light bulbs in the pre-diaspora twenty-first century? Now will you go get me some shrimp and celery egg rolls?>

The Chief on his way to see cookie talking to himself again, "Damn Smart Alick 'cat. Mumble, mumble, mumble ..."

Okay, let me try a few light-panel jokes...

How many Sollies does it take to change a Light-panel?
"Why should we use a light-panel? Our bulbs are the finest in the universe!"

How many Peeps does it take to change a Light-panel?
"Being able to change a light-panel is a sign of elitism! Shoot him!"

How many Sillies does it take to change a Light-panel?
"None! If it's dark, you can't see them stealing your stuff!"

How many Manties does it take to change a Light-panel?
"First we have to come up with something better to replace it with..."

How many Graysons does it take to change a Light-panel?
"One, by the grace of the Tester!"

How many Masadans does it take to change a Light-panel?
"Light-panels are a technological abomination against God and we'll kill anyone who disagrees!"

How many Mesans does it take to change a Light-panel?
"Mesan's don't change panels, we have specialist slaves for that!"

How many Alignment Operatives does it take to change a Light-panel?
"Well, first we need to whip up some bio-nanotech..."

How many Andermani does it take to change a Light-panel?
"Depends on what you're paying..."

How many Treecats does it take to change a Light-panel?
"Bleek!"

-Edited once for spelling and to include a couple of extra jokes-

Michael Everett wrote:Okay, let me try a few light-panel jokes...

How many Sollies does it take to change a Light-panel?
"Why should we use a light-panel? Our bulbs are the finest in the universe!"

How many Peeps does it take to change a Light-panel?
"Being able to change a light-panel is a sign of elitism! Shoot him!"

How many Sillies does it take to change a Light-panel?
"None! If it's dark, you can't see them stealing your stuff!"

How many Manties does it take to change a Light-panel?
"First we have to come up with something better to replace it with..."

How many Graysons does it take to change a Light-panel?
"One, by the grace of the Tester!"

How many Masadans does it take to change a Light-panel?
"Light-panels are a technological abomination against God and we'll kill anyone who disagrees!"

How many Mesans does it take to change a Light-panel?
"Mesan's don't change panels, we have specialist slaves for that!"

How many Alignment Operatives does it take to change a Light-panel?
"Well, first we need to whip up some bio-nanotech..."

How many Andermani does it take to change a Light-panel?
"Depends on what you're paying..."

How many Treecats does it take to change a Light-panel?
"Bleek!"

-Edited once for spelling and to include a couple of extra jokes-

CPO Poker Mind, "Well Mange, you got to admit the Brits have a lot of Whit."

Mange, <Yah, Half Whit this is the Honorverse not the Star Trek (TM) verse!>

Admiral Michael Everett walking away red faced knowing if he challenged a treecat to a duel the 'cat would choose toe nails as weapons, something humans were sadly short changed in. He muttered, "The cheeky little blighter, mumble, mumble, mumble ..."

runsforcelery wrote:

pokermind wrote:

Hope you and yours have a merry one. PS thanks for recommending Dragon Naturally Speaking in your FAQs,I figured if a professional used it I should, but I use it's read feature more than its typing.

And Merry Christmas back to you. And raise you a Happy New Year, too!

PS You Factosauruses out there is the Chief full of smelly brown organic matter and the Honorverse does have light panels, please give us a citation?

My apologies, pokermind. I hadn't realised that this was your personal sandpit...

Although you may want to check that Mangyfur knows it's a sandpit rather than... well, I'm sure you can work it out...

pokermind wrote:

Michael Everett wrote:Okay, let me try a few light-panel jokes...

How many Sollies does it take to change a Light-panel?
"Why should we use a light-panel? Our bulbs are the finest in the universe!"

How many Peeps does it take to change a Light-panel?
"Being able to change a light-panel is a sign of elitism! Shoot him!"

How many Sillies does it take to change a Light-panel?
"None! If it's dark, you can't see them stealing your stuff!"

How many Manties does it take to change a Light-panel?
"First we have to come up with something better to replace it with..."

How many Graysons does it take to change a Light-panel?
"One, by the grace of the Tester!"

How many Masadans does it take to change a Light-panel?
"Light-panels are a technological abomination against God and we'll kill anyone who disagrees!"

How many Mesans does it take to change a Light-panel?
"Mesan's don't change panels, we have specialist slaves for that!"

How many Alignment Operatives does it take to change a Light-panel?
"Well, first we need to whip up some bio-nanotech..."

How many Andermani does it take to change a Light-panel?
"Depends on what you're paying..."

How many Treecats does it take to change a Light-panel?
"Bleek!"

-Edited once for spelling and to include a couple of extra jokes-

CPO Poker Mind, "Well Mange, you got to admit the Brits have a lot of Whit."

Mange, <Yah, Half Whit this is the Honorverse not the Star Trek (TM) verse!>

Admiral Michael Everett walking away red faced knowing if he challenged a treecat to a duel the 'cat would choose toe nails as weapons, something humans were sadly short changed in. He muttered, "The cheeky little blighter, mumble, mumble, mumble ..."

runsforcelery wrote:

pokermind wrote:

Hope you and yours have a merry one. PS thanks for recommending Dragon Naturally Speaking in your FAQs,I figured if a professional used it I should, but I use it's read feature more than its typing.

And Merry Christmas back to you. And raise you a Happy New Year, too!

PS You Factosauruses out there is the Chief full of smelly brown organic matter and the Honorverse does have light panels, please give us a citation?

Now Snotties pay attention to an excellent Brit Whit dry humor comeback. Many Brits go to 'Public School' what we colonials would call a 'Private School' where they get a crash course in Brit Whit. Admiral Michael Everett's answer:

Michael Everett wrote:My apologies, pokermind. I hadn't realised that this was your personal sandpit...

Although you may want to check that Mangyfur knows it's a sandpit rather than... well, I'm sure you can work it out...

Parsing it we see a jab at the old Chief's loquaciousness making reference to this topic as being my own private domain. And I beg for others to post, and his jokes were very good too. But being an un-public-schooled colonial I could not resist tweaking the British lion's tail a mite.

Note the veiled jab that we colonials don't even know what a loo is for, but must use a litter box like one's pet pussy.

So my understated best approximation of Brit Whit, all shipshape and done up Bristol fashion, answer:

CPO Poker Mind, "Mange knows how to use the head, Admiral Michael Everett Sir."

See Snotties stiff upper-lip, and Damn the Torpedoes and full speed ahead!

Another priceless humor lesson from the old Chief.

Or is that overpriced?

PS. I don't remember light panels in the Honorverse does anyone? Please give citation.

PSS. Perhaps we can talk Admiral Michael Everett into giving a snotty lesson on joke craft, he is after all a master at it see above?