Honorverse Humor or lack thereof.

pokermind wrote:Mind Pun Treecat signing a commercial on the Wid-Screen:

<Introducing the new Sign Language to English Translator see a small light silver dangle:>



<To turn on simply pull down the speaker and adjust for volume:>



<Then just sign naturally:>



<Then the silver dangle makes two-leg mouth noises>



<No more frustration with stupid two-legs who can't read signs!>

Chief Poker Mind, "What do you think, Mange?"

Spacecat First Mangy Fur, <Our creator Runs-for-Celery should watch this commercial. I'll order one, I earned enough at poker to supply the whole clan. Stupid two-leg Snotties try to play poker with a treecat and don't have a poker-mind like you, Chief Poker Mind!>

"Bleek! ... Bleek!"

Well I think I should give the source for the illustrations above http://petitinvention.wordpress.com/2009/02/23/sign-language-interpreter/ none are my own.

John Prigent wrote:Indeed yes, good sir, I have the honour to be a Brit. That's why I spell "honour" without leaving out the "u".

And yes, I did have tongue in cheek when mentioning US Public Schools.

Cheers

John

waddles for desert wrote:

John Prigent wrote:Hmm. When I was at a minor Public School the spelling was toga praetexta. Maybe US Public Schools use different Latin spellings?

Cheers

John

PokerMind,

This was posted in the wrong spot, but you have a new front runner for your joke contest.

US Public Schools - not just spellin', but Latin spellin'? Funniest damn thing I've read in ages!

I think that would be hick, heck and hock.

(And you may have found a Brit.)

Non crede quemquam super trigentium. IE Don't trust any one over thirty. That and Omnia Gaulia devisit in partes treas. IE All of Gaul is devided into three parts. and finally my favorite on a test, Mortibiums salve te. The famous gladiator speach,"We who are about to die salute you. Nigh on to forty years, dyslexia where I can't remember strings of letter or numbers, and two strokes later and you want me to remember spelling?

Now you ask me how to spell something English, Latin, or Russian and I will, but taint necessarily the way Noah Webster, Julius Caesar, or Joseph Stalin would but then they were a Damn Yankee, a Roman Dictator, and a Soviet Dictator anyway.

Tie chin y'all that be Chinese for good bye y'all, CPO Poker Mind.

PS. My favorite Brit Whit was Monty Python's Life of Brian where the Roman centurion corrects the Jew's grammar, and makes him write Roman's Go Home a hundred times before sunrise or he'll cut his balls off. It's priceless language teachers out there, especially you Latin teachers.

pokermind wrote:What's the Treecat Name for Honor's mother?

Alley Cat

Well she is from Beowulf where the people are considered as promiscuous as alley cats.

Can you do better, PROVE IT!

CPO Poker Mind and Spacecat First Mangy Fur

PM pokermind to charles83 wrote:Chuckles, true but:

1) her two-leg name is Allison nicknamed Ally.

2) She is from Beowulf and Beowolfers have a reputation of sexual 'free-ness.'

3) A two-leg expression for sexual 'free-ness' is 'alley cat.'

4) Laughs Brightly knows this, has a wicked sense of humor. IE As Honor says he's a 'Stinker.'

5) Treecat names change over time.

6) It was just a joke, Chuckles. A Nick Name from the English pun off the common nickname 'Chuck' for the name Charles (Carlos,) and the sound of light laughter the verb to chuckle. :-)

7) You got the spunk (Old English term for semen or ejaculate. Later used for boys with grit IE That kid's got spunk, or there is a spunky kid. I spent a lot of time with people born in the 1800s so I tend to use archaic English you might not know.) OOPs where was I, oh, Do you got the spunk for the fifty (50) women on that wilderness planet, as I asked in the topic on polygamy?
Carlos,probably: and later [emotocon not PG13 redacted]

PS I about gave one of my stepsons a spanking for calling me 'dude' an archaic term for an easterner who couldn't ride a horse, thought you milked a cow by pumping her tail like a pump, and etc.; until his mother explained that kids use that to people all the time, he was born in 1980. :-(

Warning Will Robinson pulling a old farts chain often leads to retaliation. This is a reference to the old TV show Lost in Space humorous Sci Fi and a contemporary of the Original Star Trek. So when you twist this old lion's tail remember he as a tooth or two left. :-)

Ye Olde Dinosaur AKA Chief Poker Mind

pokermind wrote:Listen up snotty jokers of the Honorverse the old Chief is going to give some lessons:

The first is a paraphrase of an old Rastus and Liza jokes the raciest and sexist jokes of my youth and in their original form the Duckk would be on me like a duck on a June-bug.

Twelve-year-old Raul Alexander-Harrington is talked into looking over the wall of a nearby nudest colony by his young chum. While peering over the wall standing on his chum's shoulders a knockout curvacious blond hoves into view.

Young Raul jumps off his friend's shoulders running and screaming. His friend tackles him and asks, "Raul why are you running so hard and screaming?"

"My mothers told me if I looked over that wall I would turn to stone, and something is getting hard already!"

A staple of sick humor even worse than light-bulb jokes were the Dead Baby Jokes, here is a paraphrase set in the Honorverse:

How does a dead Havenite Dolest cross the road?

Stapled to a chicken.

Then there were the Elephant jokes, to paraphrase:

How does the Hexapuma hide in small trees on Sphinx?

He climbs to the top, paints his claws red, and prey thinks its a cherry tree.

See Snotties almost any joke you know can be adapted to the Honorverse.