Topic Actions

Topic Search

Who is online

Users browsing this forum: Google [Bot] and 41 guests

Honorverse Humor or lack thereof.

Join us in talking discussing all things Honor, including (but not limited to) tactics, favorite characters, and book discussions.
Re: Honorverse Humor or lack thereof.
Post by pokermind   » Fri Nov 11, 2011 9:57 pm

pokermind
Fleet Admiral

Posts: 4002
Joined: Tue Oct 25, 2011 8:58 am
Location: Jerome, Idaho, USA

Well not a Honorverse joke, but another religious joke, PG 13 or less maybe G:

What do you call an atheist in his finest suit in a coffin?

All dressed up and nowhere to go.

Honorverse Joke:

Young boy in front of his father on the Planet Montana (Where men are men and sheep are nervous,) the father asks the lad, "Did you push over the outhouse?"

"No, Sir."

"Let me tell you of George Washington and the cherry tree, ... So you see George's father was impressed with his honesty."

"Father I cannot tell a lie I pushed over the outhouse."

The father bends the boy over his knee and applies the board of education to the seat of the problem. Boy, sobbing, "But George Washington's father didn't give him a licken?"

Father, "George Washington's father wasn't in the cherry tree when he cut it down."

CPO Poker Mind
CPO Poker Mind Image and, Mangy Fur the Smart Alick Spacecat.

"Better to be hung for a hexapuma than a housecat," Com. Pang Yau-pau, ART.
Top
Re: Honorverse Humor or lack thereof.
Post by JenBurdoo   » Fri Nov 11, 2011 10:29 pm

JenBurdoo
Lieutenant (Senior Grade)

Posts: 51
Joined: Mon Dec 07, 2009 12:32 am

Three Grayson Navy chaplains are standing in their SD's observation lounge during the looooooong run in to battle, gazing at the stars and thinking about the Tester. One of them says to the others, "Brothers, at a time like this I feel moved to confess my sins. I am ashamed to own that I drink too much; in fact, I've got something of a hangover right now."

"I too am a sinner," says the second chaplain. "I lust for the flesh. In fact, I slept with one of our Manticoran loaner officers last night."

They both look sidelong at the third chaplain. "And you, Brother. Have you a besetting sin to confess?"

"Yes," says the third chaplain. "I have this terrible, unstoppable urge to gossip."
Top
Re: Honorverse Humor or lack thereof.
Post by waddles for desert   » Sat Nov 12, 2011 2:20 am

waddles for desert
Admiral

Posts: 2414
Joined: Wed Nov 04, 2009 12:17 am

Nice one!
Top
Re: Honorverse Humor or lack thereof.
Post by pokermind   » Sat Nov 12, 2011 10:05 am

pokermind
Fleet Admiral

Posts: 4002
Joined: Tue Oct 25, 2011 8:58 am
Location: Jerome, Idaho, USA

Another Mind Pun:

A lyre-less Spacecat first Mangy Fur is sitting on CPO Poker Mind's shoulders as the Chief enters a Sollie Bar on Old Terra.

Barkeep pointing at the treecat says, "I own this place, and I don't serve his kind here."

Later Mangy Fur is behind the bar serving drinks, a pile of not so clean bones the former bartender swept into a corner, and the tip jar is overflowing.

A barfly wakes up, sees the cat, and asks his neighbor for an explanation. Then Barfly, "Thanks there for a while with all the blood in his fur I thought he was a skinny six legged trunkless pink elephant."
CPO Poker Mind Image and, Mangy Fur the Smart Alick Spacecat.

"Better to be hung for a hexapuma than a housecat," Com. Pang Yau-pau, ART.
Top
Re: Honorverse Humor or lack thereof.
Post by viciokie   » Sat Nov 12, 2011 12:32 pm

viciokie
Captain of the List

Posts: 546
Joined: Sat Aug 27, 2011 8:39 pm

pokermind wrote:Well not a Honorverse joke, but another religious joke, PG 13 or less maybe G:

What do you call an atheist in his finest suit in a coffin?

All dressed up and nowhere to go.

Honorverse Joke:

Young boy in front of his father on the Planet Montana (Where men are men and sheep are nervous,) the father asks the lad, "Did you push over the outhouse?"

"No, Sir."

"Let me tell you of George Washington and the cherry tree, ... So you see George's father was impressed with his honesty."

"Father I cannot tell a lie I pushed over the outhouse."

The father bends the boy over his knee and applies the board of education to the seat of the problem. Boy, sobbing, "But George Washington's father didn't give him a licken?"

Father, "George Washington's father wasn't in the cherry tree when he cut it down."

CPO Poker Mind


I thought that was Australia where men are men and sheep are nervous.
Top
Re: Honorverse Humor or lack thereof.
Post by pokermind   » Sat Nov 12, 2011 12:48 pm

pokermind
Fleet Admiral

Posts: 4002
Joined: Tue Oct 25, 2011 8:58 am
Location: Jerome, Idaho, USA

Actually out west here you can say "(Name of any western state, including Idaho) where men are men and sheep are nervous."

Why did the other Planet of Montana shepherds laugh at the young teenaged shepherd?

He had sex with the ugly one. IE the ugly sheep.
CPO Poker Mind Image and, Mangy Fur the Smart Alick Spacecat.

"Better to be hung for a hexapuma than a housecat," Com. Pang Yau-pau, ART.
Top
Re: Honorverse Humor or lack thereof.
Post by pokermind   » Sat Nov 12, 2011 10:02 pm

pokermind
Fleet Admiral

Posts: 4002
Joined: Tue Oct 25, 2011 8:58 am
Location: Jerome, Idaho, USA

Off Topic, a non Honorverse Joke. In honor of Namelessfly's elk. I'm sure he's heard this one before, but:

Cowboy to city-slicker lady hunter, "Lady you can keep your deer, I just want my saddle back."
CPO Poker Mind Image and, Mangy Fur the Smart Alick Spacecat.

"Better to be hung for a hexapuma than a housecat," Com. Pang Yau-pau, ART.
Top
Re: Honorverse Humor or lack thereof.
Post by waddles for desert   » Sun Nov 13, 2011 3:41 am

waddles for desert
Admiral

Posts: 2414
Joined: Wed Nov 04, 2009 12:17 am

Yeah, with Fly out on the prowl, I have to wonder if the sheep are safe - one way or another.
Top
Re: Honorverse Humor or lack thereof.
Post by Daryl   » Sun Nov 13, 2011 8:14 am

Daryl
Fleet Admiral

Posts: 3570
Joined: Sat Apr 24, 2010 1:57 am
Location: Queensland Australia

A Second-Reformation Catholic Priest and a Rabbi en route to Manticore struck up a friendship. The night before exiting hyperspace they celebrated their friendship with a bottle of genuine Solarian brandy. Being rather relaxed they exchanged confidences, and finally got onto had either of them comitted a significant sin against their faith's tenets?
The Rabbi confessed that he had once eaten a ham sandwich to see what it was like, then the Priest sighed and admitted that he had once enjoyed a wild night of passion with a lady in his congregation. After some quiet thought the Rabbi commented "Beats a ham sandwich, doesn't it?"
Top
Re: Honorverse Humor or lack thereof.
Post by pokermind   » Sun Nov 13, 2011 12:24 pm

pokermind
Fleet Admiral

Posts: 4002
Joined: Tue Oct 25, 2011 8:58 am
Location: Jerome, Idaho, USA

waddles for desert wrote:Yeah, with Fly out on the prowl, I have to wonder if the sheep are safe - one way or another.


A rancher on the Planet Montana by the nick-name of Namelessfly read that most cannibals say human tastes like pork had Waddles for barbecue rather than desert.

I know, Waddles, I'm despicable, but then someone has to be.

CPO Poker Mind

PS Waddles your turn, or is it Fly's.
CPO Poker Mind Image and, Mangy Fur the Smart Alick Spacecat.

"Better to be hung for a hexapuma than a housecat," Com. Pang Yau-pau, ART.
Top

Return to Honorverse