The nature of handwavium

It is also available from good hardware stores where it can be found in the same aisle as sky hooks, and long weights.

Let us not leave out administratium. Administratium has no protons or electrons and thus has an atomic number of 0. However, it does have one neutron, 15 assistant neutrons, 70 vice neutrons, and 161 assistant vice neutrons. This gives it an atomic mass of 247. These 247 particles are held together in a nucleus by a force that involves the continuous exchange of meson-like particles called morons.

Since it has no electrons, administratium is inert. However, it can be detected chemically as it impedes every reaction it comes in contact with. According to the discoverers, a minute amount of administratium added to one reaction caused it to take over 4 days to complete. Without the administratium, the reaction ordinarily occurred in less than one second.

Administratium has a normal half-life of approximately three years, at which time it does not actually decay but instead undergoes a reorganization in which assistant neutrons, vice neutrons and assistant vice neutrons exchange places. Studies seem to show the atomic mass actually increasing after each reorganization.

Research indicates that administratium occurs naturally in the atmosphere. It tends to concentrate in certain locations such as government agencies, large corporations and universities. It can usually be found in the newest, best-appointed and best-maintained buildings.

Scientists warn that administratium is known to be toxic, and recommend plenty of fluids and bed rest after even low levels of exposure.

Just came across this thread and thought it funny, so I decided to bump it.

But at the same time I thought of "OhMyGodium", very similar in properties to "ohshittium" mentioned earlier.


T&R
GJS

dscott8 wrote:Of course, there is also the alloy of handwavium and leftfieldium, called coincidentium -- items made of this substance seem to be useless junk, but turn out to be exactly what the plot needs at a critical moment. Some characters may suffer from coincidentium poisoning, which forces them for no reason to be at the right place and time, making casual comments that remind other characters of crucial information.

I think this is also known as MacGuffinite.

I love it!!!!! However, I can't for the life of me think of anything to add that isn't even worse (better?)

A friend in college ran an RPG in which the best body armor materials were, in order, unlikelyum, improbabityum and impossibilium.

zuluwiz wrote:Let us not leave out administratium. Administratium has no protons or electrons and thus has an atomic number of 0. However, it does have one neutron, 15 assistant neutrons, 70 vice neutrons, and 161 assistant vice neutrons. This gives it an atomic mass of 247. These 247 particles are held together in a nucleus by a force that involves the continuous exchange of meson-like particles called morons.

Since it has no electrons, administratium is inert. However, it can be detected chemically as it impedes every reaction it comes in contact with. According to the discoverers, a minute amount of administratium added to one reaction caused it to take over 4 days to complete. Without the administratium, the reaction ordinarily occurred in less than one second.

Administratium has a normal half-life of approximately three years, at which time it does not actually decay but instead undergoes a reorganization in which assistant neutrons, vice neutrons and assistant vice neutrons exchange places. Studies seem to show the atomic mass actually increasing after each reorganization.

Research indicates that administratium occurs naturally in the atmosphere. It tends to concentrate in certain locations such as government agencies, large corporations and universities. It can usually be found in the newest, best-appointed and best-maintained buildings.

Scientists warn that administratium is known to be toxic, and recommend plenty of fluids and bed rest after even low levels of exposure.

I seem to have encountered a vast stockpile of administratium whilst aboard CGN-36 many years ago; another substantial supply was reported on CGN-41....

-- Stewart

stewart wrote:I seem to have encountered a vast stockpile of administratium whilst aboard CGN-36 many years ago; another substantial supply was reported on CGN-41....

-- Stewart

Then you know that they sent their air wings to NAS Fallon to replenish their supplies of ineptium, bsium and to add to their mass of administatium.

Caveats of handwavium:
- High decay rate in the neighborhood of readium.
- Can be neutralized by unbelievium.