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Honorverse Humor or lack thereof.

Join us in talking discussing all things Honor, including (but not limited to) tactics, favorite characters, and book discussions.
Re: Honorverse Humor or lack thereof.
Post by cthia   » Thu Jan 30, 2020 3:57 am

cthia
Fleet Admiral

Posts: 14951
Joined: Thu Jan 23, 2014 1:10 pm

Exchequer's Memoirs

"Lord Alexander built one of those old mechanical computers for fun. It calculated loss revenue of freighters that sit idly by.

He decided to input EIGHTH FLEET as a variable. The odometer started spinning so quickly that Willie went into shock. But not before blistering battle steel "GET EIGHTH FLEET'S ASS OUTTA DOCK!" "

Son, your mother says I have to hang you. Personally I don't think this is a capital offense. But if I don't hang you, she's gonna hang me and frankly, I'm not the one in trouble. —cthia's father. Incident in ? Axiom of Common Sense
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Re: Honorverse Humor or lack thereof.
Post by cthia   » Sat Feb 01, 2020 11:10 am

cthia
Fleet Admiral

Posts: 14951
Joined: Thu Jan 23, 2014 1:10 pm

Hamish's Memoirs

Sometime after BoM.

"Hamish, I just want to offer my condolences, I'm really sorry about what happened to Kuzak."

Nimitz and Samantha bound into the room.

<What's got you so happy Honor? Your mindglow suddenly spiked>

<She's happier than a sloppy pig>

"That's not how the idiom goes Samantha."

"Don't change the subject Honor!"

<She's dancing on clouds Hamish>

"Well if she hadn't been smoking crack, Hamish, perhaps she would have rolled pods!"

Son, your mother says I have to hang you. Personally I don't think this is a capital offense. But if I don't hang you, she's gonna hang me and frankly, I'm not the one in trouble. —cthia's father. Incident in ? Axiom of Common Sense
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Re: Honorverse Humor or lack thereof.
Post by cthia   » Tue Feb 04, 2020 3:09 pm

cthia
Fleet Admiral

Posts: 14951
Joined: Thu Jan 23, 2014 1:10 pm

Honor's Memoirs

"Honest, I didn't know I could get pregnant, Emily!"

"It's okay honey, I believe you. It sounds just like the Salamander's MO to even upstage Mary Magdalene with an immaculate birth of her own."

Son, your mother says I have to hang you. Personally I don't think this is a capital offense. But if I don't hang you, she's gonna hang me and frankly, I'm not the one in trouble. —cthia's father. Incident in ? Axiom of Common Sense
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Re: Honorverse Humor or lack thereof.
Post by locarno24   » Wed Feb 05, 2020 6:13 am

locarno24
Lieutenant (Senior Grade)

Posts: 65
Joined: Thu Jun 30, 2016 9:26 am

Sagnami Navigation 101:

The course instructor liked to start the first class with a joke about navigation errors, but she realised it's usually lost on people.

The ship's astrogator told me to turn around. Now I can't see where I'm going.

The navigation computer complains whenever we try and program it to orbit at a specific angle above the planet's equator. It's developed a bad latitude.

Where would we be without the invention of the hyper log? No, seriously: where? It's broken and we're lost.

What do you call a navigator from San Martin?
Juan Direction.
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Re: Honorverse Humor or lack thereof.
Post by cthia   » Fri Feb 14, 2020 6:40 am

cthia
Fleet Admiral

Posts: 14951
Joined: Thu Jan 23, 2014 1:10 pm

Michelle Henke's Memoirs

"What is it, Honor?"

"I truly love Hamish, Michelle, but he's no Paul in bed. Paul was a tank. I'm thinking about bringing home another man. What's good for the goose should be good for the 'mander. Besides, it's in my Beo-blood."

"Oh dear, history has awakened another sleeping giant."

Son, your mother says I have to hang you. Personally I don't think this is a capital offense. But if I don't hang you, she's gonna hang me and frankly, I'm not the one in trouble. —cthia's father. Incident in ? Axiom of Common Sense
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Re: Honorverse Humor or lack thereof.
Post by cthia   » Sun Feb 16, 2020 8:59 am

cthia
Fleet Admiral

Posts: 14951
Joined: Thu Jan 23, 2014 1:10 pm

Hamish's Memoirs

Sometime after BoM.

"Hamish, I just want to offer my condolences, I'm really sorry about what happened to Kuzak."

Nimitz and Samantha bound into the room.

<What's got you so happy Honor? Your mindglow suddenly spiked>

<She's happier than a sloppy pig>

"That's not how the idiom goes Samantha."

"Don't change the subject Honor!"

<She's dancing on clouds Hamish>

"Well if she hadn't been smoking crack, Hamish, perhaps she would have rolled pods!"

<Honor, the rumor mill has it she'd been in her quarters rolling pods of a different nature>

Son, your mother says I have to hang you. Personally I don't think this is a capital offense. But if I don't hang you, she's gonna hang me and frankly, I'm not the one in trouble. —cthia's father. Incident in ? Axiom of Common Sense
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Re: Honorverse Humor or lack thereof.
Post by locarno24   » Mon Feb 17, 2020 7:29 am

locarno24
Lieutenant (Senior Grade)

Posts: 65
Joined: Thu Jun 30, 2016 9:26 am

HMS Minotaur Acceptance Trials

Testing Logs for Shrike-Class RMN LACs, responding Boat Bay maintenance signatory CPO Harkness
([P] - Problem [R] - Resolution)


[P] Test flight OK, except unmanned auto-docking very rough.
[R] Auto-docking ability not fitted to Shrike pre-production prototypes, instead uses alternative unmanned docking feature called "crashing".

[P] Interrupt lock causes wedge controls to freeze.
[R] That would be the point of an interrupt lock. Recommend flying within safety limits, causing interrupt lock not to trigger.

[P] 75% power to wedge produces an acceleration 20G below expected values.
[R] Kind of difficult to reproduce problem whilst docked to the Minotaur.

[P]Port 'beta-squared' node #2 almost needs replacement.
[R] Almost replaced port-zenith 'beta-squared' node #2.

[P]Lost Starboard 'beta-squared' node #1 during high-acceleration evasive manoeuvres.
[R] Starboard 'beta-squared' node #1 found on starboard hull after intensive search.

[P] Something loose in main control column.
[R] Something tightened in main control column.

[P] IFF inoperative.
[R] IFF always inoperative in OFF mode.

[P] Suspected crack in coolant feed line A2, junction 15.
[R] Suspect you're right.

[P] Evidence of sympathetic fluctuation in port sidewall at high acceleration.
[R] Evidence removed.

[P] LAC handles funny.
[R] LAC warned to straighten up, fly right, and be serious.

[P] Targeting gravetics hum.
[R] Reprogrammed targeting gravetics with lyrics.
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Re: Honorverse Humor or lack thereof.
Post by cthia   » Mon Feb 17, 2020 11:48 am

cthia
Fleet Admiral

Posts: 14951
Joined: Thu Jan 23, 2014 1:10 pm

locarno24 wrote:HMS Minotaur Acceptance Trials

Testing Logs for Shrike-Class RMN LACs, responding Boat Bay maintenance signatory CPO Harkness
([P] - Problem [R] - Resolution)


[P] Test flight OK, except unmanned auto-docking very rough.
[R] Auto-docking ability not fitted to Shrike pre-production prototypes, instead uses alternative unmanned docking feature called "crashing".

[P] Interrupt lock causes wedge controls to freeze.
[R] That would be the point of an interrupt lock. Recommend flying within safety limits, causing interrupt lock not to trigger.

[P] 75% power to wedge produces an acceleration 20G below expected values.
[R] Kind of difficult to reproduce problem whilst docked to the Minotaur.

[P]Port 'beta-squared' node #2 almost needs replacement.
[R] Almost replaced port-zenith 'beta-squared' node #2.

[P]Lost Starboard 'beta-squared' node #1 during high-acceleration evasive manoeuvres.
[R] Starboard 'beta-squared' node #1 found on starboard hull after intensive search.

[P] Something loose in main control column.
[R] Something tightened in main control column.

[P] IFF inoperative.
[R] IFF always inoperative in OFF mode.

[P] Suspected crack in coolant feed line A2, junction 15.
[R] Suspect you're right.

[P] Evidence of sympathetic fluctuation in port sidewall at high acceleration.
[R] Evidence removed.

[P] LAC handles funny.
[R] LAC warned to straighten up, fly right, and be serious.

[P] Targeting gravetics hum.
[R] Reprogrammed targeting gravetics with lyrics.


:lol:

[P] Annoying computer warning system screaming "Pull...up. Pull...up. Crash imminent." When driving hard towards a target.

[R] Out of necessity, certain software was adopted from aircars. Give it the finger like everyone else does. It should work if your fingerprint has been scanned and authorized.

Son, your mother says I have to hang you. Personally I don't think this is a capital offense. But if I don't hang you, she's gonna hang me and frankly, I'm not the one in trouble. —cthia's father. Incident in ? Axiom of Common Sense
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Re: Honorverse Humor or lack thereof.
Post by jchilds   » Thu Mar 26, 2020 5:07 pm

jchilds
Captain of the List

Posts: 722
Joined: Wed Feb 09, 2011 4:09 am
Location: Ottawa, ON Canada

So has anybody actually put Peeps in a Havenite uniform, IRL or digitally? Pink or Yellow?
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Re: Honorverse Humor or lack thereof.
Post by cthia   » Mon Mar 30, 2020 11:32 am

cthia
Fleet Admiral

Posts: 14951
Joined: Thu Jan 23, 2014 1:10 pm

Conversations which might have happened offscreen

Beth: "I'm sick of the Mandarins Honor! Make sure you bring them back with you! I'm going to shoot the sheriff and his deputies too!"

Son, your mother says I have to hang you. Personally I don't think this is a capital offense. But if I don't hang you, she's gonna hang me and frankly, I'm not the one in trouble. —cthia's father. Incident in ? Axiom of Common Sense
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