Honor/Hamish/Emily

fallsfromtrees wrote:I suggest that those complaining that Emily was cheated on go back and reread the books -= with their eyes open this time. H&H don't sleep together UNTIL AFTER Emily throws them together and encourages it - hardly the act of a cheated upon wife. It was by all accounts provided by the author (not speculation of fans) a completely consensual relationship among all parties.

Peregrinator wrote:

fallsfromtrees wrote:I suggest that those complaining that Emily was cheated on go back and reread the books -= with their eyes open this time. H&H don't sleep together UNTIL AFTER Emily throws them together and encourages it - hardly the act of a cheated upon wife. It was by all accounts provided by the author (not speculation of fans) a completely consensual relationship among all parties.

That Emily consents to her husband's cheating does not make it not cheating.

fallsfromtrees wrote:It was far more than consent - it was active encouragement.

MC1560 wrote:What makes this relationship feel wrong for me is Emily's disability. It's like no matter what they say, it still feels like they are taking advantage of her.

She probably spent decades suffering her husband's infidelities and her own powerlessness. She probably became resigned to it. So when faced with Honor, what hope did she have? She waved the white flag and became the secondary wife.

If not for the accident, would she have fought back? Shamed him? Divorced him and found somebody else?

ThinksMarkedly wrote:And why are you placing "infidelities" in the plural? From what we've been told, Hamish was unfaithful only with Kuzak, some time in the past we were never told when. That may been more than one encounter, but it doesn't look like that lasted long. For the rest of the 30 years or more since her accident, he was entirely faithful.

He'd survived, thanks to Theodosia, and he'd discovered something along the way—or perhaps rediscovered it. The reason for his anguish, the intolerable burden which had broken him at last, was the simplest thing in the world: he loved his wife. He always had, and he always would. Nothing could change that, but that was what had made his agony bite so deep, the reason he couldn't forgive himself for not somehow making things "all right" again . . . and the reason he'd had to turn to someone else to rebuild himself when the collapse came. It had been cowardly of him, in many ways, but he simply could not have made himself dump his weakness, his collapse on her shoulders while she coped with everything God had already done to her. And so he'd run away to Theodosia until Theodosia could heal him and send him back to Emily once more.
She'd known. He hadn't told her, but he'd never had to, and she'd welcomed him with that smile which could still light up a room . . . still melt his heart within his chest. They'd never discussed it directly, for there'd never been a need to. The information, the knowledge, had been exchanged on some profound inner level, for just as she'd known he had run away, she'd known why . . . and the reason he had come back.
And he'd never run away from her again. There had been a handful of other women over the last forty-odd years. He and Emily were both from aristocratic families and Manticore, the most cosmopolitan of the Star Kingdom's planets, with mores and concepts quite different from those of frontier Gryphon or straitlaced Sphinx. The Star Kingdom had its licensed professional courtesans, but ninety percent of them were to be found on the capital planet, and White Haven had availed himself of their services upon occasion. Emily knew that, just as she knew that all of them had been women he liked and respected but did not love. Not as he loved her. After all these years, it was she with whom he still shared everything except the physical intimacy which they had lost forever.

Peregrinator wrote:That Emily consents to her husband's cheating does not make it not cheating.

tlb wrote:Although I mainly agree with what you say, that statement cannot stand. Kuzak was the only women named before Honor, but there is also mention that he also hired sex workers. From Echoes of Honor, chapter 19:

TFLYTSNBN wrote:Why do the Royal Mantivcoran Marines refer to Admiral Theodosa Kizac as "The Locomotive?"

ThinksMarkedly wrote:Licensed courtesans don't count, since they're there for the physical action, not love. And since it was an act that Emily could not participate in, why should she not let her husban use those services, so long as he came back to her and loved her?

It's unclear in the text whether "handful of other women" included any woman that wasn't a courtesan.