As a pastor who has done many funerals, I avoid directly claiming that a person who has died is in either heaven or hell. What I will say of a practicing Christian is that he shared in the struggle to live as a follower of Jesus and embraced the hope of eternal life with Christ in his heart.
With others, beyond saying that God loves everyone including both the deceased and their loved ones and that we can all depend on that, I don't comment. What it comes down to is that God has made me judge over no one which means that I'm not a chooser of who makes it through the pearly gates and who doesn't.
That being said, I do not believe that everyone automaticly goes to be with God when they die. If someone ignores God and doesn't trust him in this life, I think that they are expressing a preference which in death God respects. God forces himself on no one. I find the notion of life without God chilling. But it is rather obvious that not everyone feels the same way.
Don
-