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Honorverse Humor or lack thereof.

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Re: Honorverse Humor or lack thereof.
Post by MAD-4A   » Wed Sep 06, 2017 3:57 pm

MAD-4A
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OK, if we're going punny...
cthia wrote:The planet's name is Torch and it's capital is Beacon.
That makes Torch a Beacon of light powered by slaves .... Even in the Honorverse, Hell was simply an unacknowledged rumor.

If the Kingdom of Tourch annexed Hades, they'd could really show the Mesan Alignment a hot time.
-
Almost only counts in Horseshoes and Nuclear Weapons. I almost got the Hand-Grenade out the window does not count.
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Re: Honorverse Humor or lack thereof.
Post by cthia   » Thu Sep 07, 2017 5:59 am

cthia
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MAD-4A wrote:OK, if we're going punny...
cthia wrote:The planet's name is Torch and it's capital is Beacon.
That makes Torch a Beacon of light powered by slaves .... Even in the Honorverse, Hell was simply an unacknowledged rumor.

If the Kingdom of Tourch annexed Hades, they'd could really show the Mesan Alignment a hot time.

That would make Torch the fire and Hades the brimstone?

Son, your mother says I have to hang you. Personally I don't think this is a capital offense. But if I don't hang you, she's gonna hang me and frankly, I'm not the one in trouble. —cthia's father. Incident in ? Axiom of Common Sense
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Re: Honorverse Humor or lack thereof.
Post by cthia   » Thu Sep 07, 2017 6:14 am

cthia
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"What's that foul smell in the air?" Asked Protector Benjamin.

"Fowl."

"Say again Mistress Thorn?"

"It's not a "foul" smell, Protector, it's a "fowl" smell. Guess who's coming to dinner. Honor and that metabolistic miscreant of a teenage mutant ninja chicken slayer are coming. Whenever the two of 'em visit together, we have to execute all of the chickens in the orbital habitat. My kitchen turns into a slaughter house when the two of them show up in tandem."

"All of them?"

"All of them. In fact, I hear the chickens are learning sign language so they can tell Raoul to 'Eat more turkey, the other white meat that tastes like chicken.'"

"I swear, those two are going to eat us out of house and home."

"Don't you mean house and planet, Protector?"

" :lol: "

" :lol: "

"Wait! The chickens are learning sign language?"

"Well, yes. Dr. Arif says it seems to be some sort of adaptation called 'chicken scratch.' "

Son, your mother says I have to hang you. Personally I don't think this is a capital offense. But if I don't hang you, she's gonna hang me and frankly, I'm not the one in trouble. —cthia's father. Incident in ? Axiom of Common Sense
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Re: Honorverse Humor or lack thereof.
Post by cthia   » Fri Sep 08, 2017 6:38 am

cthia
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Abigail as a destroyer captain could give us some extraordinary one-liners.

"Strike your wedge, or Tester will do it for you."

"Don't be foolish you idiot. Strike your wedge and pass your test."

"Tester says nay!"

"Engage the enemy! The power of Tester compels you!"

"So you're a Devout Optimist? The weight of my fire will convert you to something different."

There are no atheists in foxholes or ships facing Miss Owens.

Son, your mother says I have to hang you. Personally I don't think this is a capital offense. But if I don't hang you, she's gonna hang me and frankly, I'm not the one in trouble. —cthia's father. Incident in ? Axiom of Common Sense
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Re: Honorverse Humor or lack thereof.
Post by cthia   » Fri Sep 08, 2017 7:29 pm

cthia
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Posts: 14951
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SLNS Québec
Dzung System
Solarian League


Hmm, a shitty navy hanging out in a system named after animal droppings. How apropos.

That is as apropos as one can go. Or is that as apropet as one can get?

Son, your mother says I have to hang you. Personally I don't think this is a capital offense. But if I don't hang you, she's gonna hang me and frankly, I'm not the one in trouble. —cthia's father. Incident in ? Axiom of Common Sense
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Re: Honorverse Humor or lack thereof.
Post by cthia   » Sat Sep 09, 2017 1:19 am

cthia
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Posts: 14951
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cthia wrote:
BREAKING NEWS

A very old wiretapping of a secret meeting in the House of Lords reminiscent of the Watergate scandal of yore is found and "leaked" to the public. Parts of audio is inaudible as the subject seems to be spouting incoherent vehemence through gritted teeth...

"Have you all gone mad! That out of control lunatic simply cannot be allowed to have a seat in the Lords!"

"Why not?"

" :o " ...

"BECAUSE IT'D ONLY BE A MATTER OF TIME BEFORE THAT HOLIER-THAN-THOU JUMPED-UP BASEBORN BI—" (bleep)

"#@&%$" (bleep)

"#%$@#@##@$@#$@#$" (inaudible)

"@%&%" (bleep)

"IS LORD OF THE WHOLE PHUCKING REALM!"

The heated discussion continues.

"No! No! No! Aren't you all listening?! She's a Salamader that dances on clouds with a six-legged demon on her shoulder! She's nuts I tell you! Can't you see she's nuts!"

"Stop flailing your arms. We don't know sign language."

Son, your mother says I have to hang you. Personally I don't think this is a capital offense. But if I don't hang you, she's gonna hang me and frankly, I'm not the one in trouble. —cthia's father. Incident in ? Axiom of Common Sense
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Re: Honorverse Humor or lack thereof.
Post by cthia   » Sun Sep 10, 2017 11:19 am

cthia
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Posts: 14951
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Honor stated something akin to Young's advances being a bit too forward, bellicose, braggadocios. If he had approached the horse a bit differently, like a horse whisperer, he might have gotten close enough to her to mount her.

The idiot didn't know anything about horses or the art of wooing. What did he think the phrase "Whisper sweet nothings in her ear" was all about?

He should have whispered to her.

Son, your mother says I have to hang you. Personally I don't think this is a capital offense. But if I don't hang you, she's gonna hang me and frankly, I'm not the one in trouble. —cthia's father. Incident in ? Axiom of Common Sense
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Re: Honorverse Humor or lack thereof.
Post by cthia   » Sun Sep 10, 2017 11:24 am

cthia
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Posts: 14951
Joined: Thu Jan 23, 2014 1:10 pm

Sometimes I wish Honor would have married the idiot.

In this instance, it would have been quite nice to see the batterered husband syndrome.

Son, your mother says I have to hang you. Personally I don't think this is a capital offense. But if I don't hang you, she's gonna hang me and frankly, I'm not the one in trouble. —cthia's father. Incident in ? Axiom of Common Sense
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Re: Honorverse Humor or lack thereof.
Post by cthia   » Mon Sep 11, 2017 12:05 pm

cthia
Fleet Admiral

Posts: 14951
Joined: Thu Jan 23, 2014 1:10 pm

"We're outnumbered Nimitz! There are too many Mesans inside!"



< pat pat pat>


...


< par pat pat >



< FIRE IN THE HOLE! >


ImageImageImage



" :o "


< I'm packing! Honor!>

Son, your mother says I have to hang you. Personally I don't think this is a capital offense. But if I don't hang you, she's gonna hang me and frankly, I'm not the one in trouble. —cthia's father. Incident in ? Axiom of Common Sense
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Re: Honorverse Humor or lack thereof.
Post by cthia   » Mon Sep 11, 2017 12:47 pm

cthia
Fleet Admiral

Posts: 14951
Joined: Thu Jan 23, 2014 1:10 pm

cthia wrote:"The Happiest Man in the Honorverse" Award goes to ...

[HAMISH ALEXANDER]

A pussy on his head and two in his bed.

Pussy Galore must have been a time traveler.



Samantha to Hamish...

<Happy to see Honor, or is that a celery stalk in your pocket! >

" :oops: "

Son, your mother says I have to hang you. Personally I don't think this is a capital offense. But if I don't hang you, she's gonna hang me and frankly, I'm not the one in trouble. —cthia's father. Incident in ? Axiom of Common Sense
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