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Self proclaimed one-liners

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Re: Self proclaimed one-liners
Post by Rincewind   » Fri Aug 12, 2016 8:33 pm

Rincewind
Captain (Junior Grade)

Posts: 277
Joined: Sun Aug 23, 2015 1:22 pm

A favourite one of mine.

Whenever I feel like work, I lie down until the feeling goes away.
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Re: Self proclaimed one-liners
Post by cthia   » Tue Aug 16, 2016 3:40 pm

cthia
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Posts: 14951
Joined: Thu Jan 23, 2014 1:10 pm

My siblings and I have many memories together and someone is always bringing something up from the past for laughs.

One day I stormed into the house and seemingly won a fight over some left over milk in a carton from my other brothers. Yet The Ape failed to heed the warning his sister was trying to give him, while beating his chest in victory and drinking up the milk in front of his lesser prey, his brothers.

And he roared like a lion "Stay out of it sis. To the victor goes the spoils."

"It sure does greedy guts, especially since the milk is SPOILED!"


"Spit spitzzz spit spit! Yuck! Yuck!" Yep, now I am choking on very spoiled milk. We had been on vacation for a couple of weeks and that was the milk we left in the fridge. I forgot that little detail.

Aside:
One of my sisters used to claim that the mortality rate of young boys should be dangerously high with some of the dumb mad stupid ignorant schit we'd do as kids. She sure had a point.

Son, your mother says I have to hang you. Personally I don't think this is a capital offense. But if I don't hang you, she's gonna hang me and frankly, I'm not the one in trouble. —cthia's father. Incident in ? Axiom of Common Sense
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Re: Self proclaimed one-liners
Post by cthia   » Wed Aug 17, 2016 1:57 pm

cthia
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Posts: 14951
Joined: Thu Jan 23, 2014 1:10 pm

Phuck you, I'm hooked on Fonics!

Son, your mother says I have to hang you. Personally I don't think this is a capital offense. But if I don't hang you, she's gonna hang me and frankly, I'm not the one in trouble. —cthia's father. Incident in ? Axiom of Common Sense
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Re: Self proclaimed one-liners
Post by cthia   » Thu Aug 18, 2016 11:00 am

cthia
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Posts: 14951
Joined: Thu Jan 23, 2014 1:10 pm

TAINT THE SPORT. SPOIL THE ART.
— A. Spoilsport

Son, your mother says I have to hang you. Personally I don't think this is a capital offense. But if I don't hang you, she's gonna hang me and frankly, I'm not the one in trouble. —cthia's father. Incident in ? Axiom of Common Sense
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Re: Self proclaimed one-liners
Post by cthia   » Tue Aug 30, 2016 11:21 am

cthia
Fleet Admiral

Posts: 14951
Joined: Thu Jan 23, 2014 1:10 pm

My young niece once said this...
Never, ever, shoot the messenger. She may not have delivered all your mail.

Son, your mother says I have to hang you. Personally I don't think this is a capital offense. But if I don't hang you, she's gonna hang me and frankly, I'm not the one in trouble. —cthia's father. Incident in ? Axiom of Common Sense
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Re: Self proclaimed one-liners
Post by cthia   » Tue Aug 30, 2016 11:23 am

cthia
Fleet Admiral

Posts: 14951
Joined: Thu Jan 23, 2014 1:10 pm

Culpability is borne of humility, lives in civility, dies of futility.

Son, your mother says I have to hang you. Personally I don't think this is a capital offense. But if I don't hang you, she's gonna hang me and frankly, I'm not the one in trouble. —cthia's father. Incident in ? Axiom of Common Sense
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Re: Self proclaimed one-liners
Post by cthia   » Wed Aug 31, 2016 7:05 pm

cthia
Fleet Admiral

Posts: 14951
Joined: Thu Jan 23, 2014 1:10 pm

Foreboding. Deep down Gut-wrenching foreboding.
No one but Poe can know my gut-wrenching foreboding.

Son, your mother says I have to hang you. Personally I don't think this is a capital offense. But if I don't hang you, she's gonna hang me and frankly, I'm not the one in trouble. —cthia's father. Incident in ? Axiom of Common Sense
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Re: Self proclaimed one-liners
Post by cthia   » Sun Sep 04, 2016 9:27 pm

cthia
Fleet Admiral

Posts: 14951
Joined: Thu Jan 23, 2014 1:10 pm

Jackasses are no cause to cast an aversion to the animal.

Son, your mother says I have to hang you. Personally I don't think this is a capital offense. But if I don't hang you, she's gonna hang me and frankly, I'm not the one in trouble. —cthia's father. Incident in ? Axiom of Common Sense
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Re: Self proclaimed one-liners
Post by Imaginos1892   » Wed Sep 07, 2016 12:46 am

Imaginos1892
Rear Admiral

Posts: 1332
Joined: Sat Mar 24, 2012 3:24 pm
Location: San Diego, California, USA

While writing a fan-fiction story, I came up with these:
Can you help a grass seed become a tree? You might force it to grow as big as a tree, but it will fall and die.

Treasure your life. Reach as far as you can, and let what you can reach be enough for you.
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Re: Self proclaimed one-liners
Post by Michael Everett   » Wed Sep 07, 2016 2:45 am

Michael Everett
Admiral

Posts: 2619
Joined: Tue Nov 03, 2009 3:54 am
Location: Bristol, England

Imaginos1892 wrote:While writing a fan-fiction story

Yay! Another writer!
And 21 chapters on your Vandread fic? Darn good for your first published story. Kudos!
~~~~~~

I can't write anywhere near as well as Weber
But I try nonetheless, And even do my own artwork.
(Now on Twitter)and mentioned by RFC!
ACNH Dreams at DA-6594-0940-7995
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