Honorverse Humor or lack thereof.

Pierre, a brave LAC commander, takes his girlfriend, Marie, out for a pleasant little picnic by the Thunder river . It's a beautiful day and love is in the air.
Marie leans over to Pierre and says, ' Pierre , kiss me!'

Pierre grabs a bottle of Andermani wine and splashes it on Marie's lips.

'What are you doing, Pierre ?' says the startled Marie.

'I am Pierre, the LAC commander! When I have red meat, I have dark wine!'

She smiles and they start kissing.

Things began to heat up a little and Marie says, ' Pierre , kiss me lower.'

Our hero tears her blouse open, grabs a bottle of Copper ridge and pours it on her breasts.

' Pierre ! What are you doing now?' asks the bewildered Marie.

'I am Pierre, the brave LAC commander! When I have white meat, I have Copper ridge wine!'

She giggles and they resume their passionate interlude and things really steam up.

Marie leans close to his ear and whispers, ' Pierre , kiss me much lower!

'Pierre rips off her underwear, grabs a bottle of Grayson brandy and pours it in her lap.

He then strikes a match and lights the brandy on fire.

Marie shrieks and dives into Thunder river.Standing waist deep, Marie throws her arms into the air and screams furiously, "Pierre, what the HELL do you think you are doing!???"

Pierre stands, thumps his chest and says defiantly, 'I am Pierre, the LAC commander! If I go down, I go down in flames!'

pokermind wrote:Mange, <Another chief joke:

<As a crowded civilian shuttle is about to take-off, the peace is suddenly shattered by a five-year-old boy who picks that moment to throw a wild temper tantrum. No matter what his frustrated, embarrassed mother does to try to calm him down, the boy continues to scream furiously and kick the seats around him.

<Suddenly, from the rear of the plane, an older man in the uniform of a Royal Manticorian Navy Chief begins to make his way up the aisle. Stopping the frustrated mother’s upraised hand, the white haired, courtly, soft-spoken Chief leans down and, motioning toward his shoulder, whispers something into the boy’s ear.

<Instantly, the boy calms down, gently takes his mother’s hand, and quietly fastens his seat belt. All the other passengers burst into spontaneous applause. As the Chief slowly makes his way back to his seat, one of the cabin attendents touches his sleeve. “Excuse me Chief”, she asks quietly, “could I ask you what magic words you used on that little boy?”

<The Chief smiled serenely and gently confides, “I showed him my shoulder patches, service stripes, and battle ribbons, and then explained to him that they entitled me to space one passenger out of the airlock.”>

Chief

Poker & Mange

Edited to remove coffee mug art and comments.