Honorverse Humor or lack thereof.

Why haven't Thomas Caparelli and Patricia Givens ever fallen in love?

Because seeing each other every day is the Pits.

Protector's Palace is responding to a recent rash of treecat advertisement pranks.

A couple recent ads of a miscreant treecat's guaranteed weight loss procedure.

CATTY CUTS
We cut to the chase and trim the fat.
Cat E. Cuts, MD.

GASTRIC BYPASSES
A trimmer ass with lesser gas.
We cut out the middle man.

A miscreant Barber ad.

PERFECT CUTS
We take your scalp seriously.

Several miscreant treecat teenagers were dismissed from catschool. When asked by Protector Benjamin why they get into so much trouble in class, the leader of the pack demurely responded...

I guess we're just a bunch of cutups.

<Heard this tale from a Merchant sailor, a friend of his found an ancient lamp on old Terra and brought it home. Later at his favorite restaurant after paying the check with exact change for his meal and his accompanying pet ostrich several times the waitress finally asked his story.
<"Well I was polishing a lamp I bought on Old Terra and a Jeane. appeared and granted two wishes. I asked that when presented with a bill the exact change should appear in my pocket."
<The waitress asked, "What's with the ostrich?"
<"My second wish was for a long legged chick who loved me.">

Mange

It's just not realistic that everyone and the treecats are going to get on well. As a result, there are higher and higher incidents of shredded clothing.

"Wardrobe malfunctions," as preferred by treecat legalese.

Honor and Stephanie keep assigning Legal Eagles to the cats. But the cats keep eating them.

Treecats claim lawyers are a several course meal...
<Soon as you cut away one level, another is exposed. Yummy>

There were a few parodies done of Jimi Hendrix's Hey Joe. I love Jimi Hendrix. My much older brother used to play him to death. Hendrix's Are You Experienced album was a conception of genius riffs and rhythms!

Anyways, I thought I'd try my hand at a Hey Joe parody. Be forewarned, it takes a bit of a sinister turn. It features Emily, a scorned woman with a gun - had she sought revenge, when White Haven was acting like... acting like scum... da dum dee dum dum


Lyrics for Hey Hoe
by Cthia

Hey hoe, where you goin' with that gun in your hand
Hey hoe, I said where you going with that gun in your hand, oh
I'm going down to shoot my cheatin' old man
You know I caught him messin' 'round with a cancan
What?! the fool, that ain't cool
Huh? hey hoe, I heard you shot your husband down
You shot him down now
Hey hoe, I heard you shot your husband down
You shot him down in the ground yeah!
Yeah!
Yes I did I shot him
You know I caught him messin' round messin' round town
Huh, yes I did I shot him
You know I caught my husband messin' 'round town
And I got me a gun
And I shot him!
Alright
Shoot him one more time again baby!
Yeah!
Oh dig it
Oh alright
Hey hoe,
Where you gonna run to now where you gonna go
Hey hoe, I said
Where you gonna run to now where you gonna go
I'm goin' way down south
Way down to live my way
Alright
I'm goin' way down South
Back to White Haven where I can be free
Ain't no one gonna come for me
Ain't no hang-man gonna come
He ain't gonna put a rope around me
You better believe it right now
I gotta go now I gotta go

Hey Joe
I ain't gonna be run down town
They'll never believe I can hold a gun
That I took one and then I shot him
Oh no Joe, they'll never believe I shot him
I ain't s'posed to be able to now
To be able to, to blow brains out
I said hey Joe I'm a damn fine actress now
I'll cry many tears out loud, rollin' 'round
Asking who shot my husband down
Who shot him down
Who shot him down to the ground

Say goodbye Joe, gonna shoot you down now
You gotta know, I'm tired of being called a hoe
I won't listen to it no mo
So you gotta go you gotta go too Joe
Say hello to Johnnie gun BAM! there you go
Shoulda seen it coming Joe but you kinda slow
Ain't no one gonna know
It's your gun buried in the snow
Now I'm happy, I'm gonna go
Live at White Haven, do me some blow
Oh Oh. Goodbye to y'all
Took care of my business, gotta run can't stall...
Goodbye to y'all see ya later don't call....

Now I'm whistlin' while singin'
My wheels spinnin' 'round and 'round
Spinning down on the ground
Uh huh I shot him
Won't be messin' round now
No more down town
Sick son of a bitch I GOT him!..

Now Jimmy's gonna shoot his gun
da dum da dum dum ...
...
...
...
...

And a live performance of the original...
https://youtu.be/W3JsuWz4xWc

Mange, <What to do you get when cross a fat Spinx chipmunk and a treecat?>

Chief, "A bloody mess?"

<No, a fatter treecat.>

Poker & Mange

What would Robin say about the Harrington Treecats?

"Holy Batmen!"

What would you get if you crossed Xena: Warrior Princess with Honor the Salamander?

You'd get a longhaired blonde sidekick named Abigail...

Wielding a baseball bat!

For those not reading Safehold RFC had low heart rate causing collapsed and may miss two conventions coming up. Our stalwart workaholic was thinking he might go anyway AMA (Against Medical Advice). To quote RFC "For example, Sharon has informed me that she has a hammer and I have kneecaps and they could find themselves enjoying a close relationship if I tried to get on the plane after Doctor Stewart tells me I can't go."

Facebook image:



RFC, Poker

Haven has been receiving a mass number of requests from couples asking to get married on Hades.

They figure, if they can only begin their marriage in hell, it can only go uphill from there!