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Self proclaimed one-liners

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Re: Self proclaimed one-liners
Post by Imaginos1892   » Sun Dec 21, 2014 6:31 pm

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DDHv wrote:Life still tends to be about kicking butt, not kissing it.


In this world, there are some asses you need to kick, and some you need to kiss. Most of life's problems are a result of getting them mixed up.
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Re: Self proclaimed one-liners
Post by cthia   » Sun Dec 21, 2014 11:49 pm

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Imaginos1892 wrote:
DDHv wrote:Life still tends to be about kicking butt, not kissing it.


In this world, there are some asses you need to kick, and some you need to kiss. Most of life's problems are a result of getting them mixed up.

I just tend to stick to the pretty ones that are attached to a nice long pair of legs that you grovel to kiss and lick.

Son, your mother says I have to hang you. Personally I don't think this is a capital offense. But if I don't hang you, she's gonna hang me and frankly, I'm not the one in trouble. —cthia's father. Incident in ? Axiom of Common Sense
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Re: Self proclaimed one-liners
Post by TN4994   » Mon Dec 22, 2014 1:48 am

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cthia wrote:
Imaginos1892 wrote:
In this world, there are some asses you need to kick, and some you need to kiss. Most of life's problems are a result of getting them mixed up.

I just tend to stick to the pretty ones that are attached to a nice long pair of legs that you grovel to kiss and lick.

How is it you escaped your father and the noose?
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Re: Self proclaimed one-liners
Post by DDHvi   » Sat Dec 27, 2014 7:59 pm

DDHvi
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From:

http://townhall.com/columnists/johnhawk ... sletterad=

One of the most ironclad laws of life on Planet Earth is that you get more of what you reward and less of what you punish.


We often reward smooth lies and punish truthful people. Do we actually think we can escape reality :?: :roll:

Same source:

Tolerance doesn’t have to be a synonym for stupid, but it is for too many people – and the further down the rabbit hole you go, the worse it gets.


Behind every apparent double standard lies an unconfessed single standard


From:

http://townhall.com/columnists/jonahgol ... sletterad=
Last edited by DDHvi on Tue Jan 06, 2015 9:58 am, edited 1 time in total.
Douglas Hvistendahl
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ddhviste@drtel.net

Dumb mistakes are very irritating.
Smart mistakes go on forever
Unless you test your assumptions!
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Re: Self proclaimed one-liners
Post by cthia   » Sat Dec 27, 2014 9:37 pm

cthia
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cthia wrote:
Imaginos1892 wrote:In this world, there are some asses you need to kick, and some you need to kiss. Most of life's problems are a result of getting them mixed up.

I just tend to stick to the pretty ones that are attached to a nice long pair of legs that you grovel to kiss and lick.

TN4994 wrote:How is it you escaped your father and the noose?

By the hair of me chinny chin chin? :D

Son, your mother says I have to hang you. Personally I don't think this is a capital offense. But if I don't hang you, she's gonna hang me and frankly, I'm not the one in trouble. —cthia's father. Incident in ? Axiom of Common Sense
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Re: Self proclaimed one-liners
Post by Imaginos1892   » Tue Jan 06, 2015 12:38 am

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Always check for toilet paper before you sit down.

Always check for a two-flusher before you walk away.
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Re: Self proclaimed one-liners
Post by Imaginos1892   » Tue Jan 27, 2015 8:47 pm

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Was at a bar last week, and their "happy hour" consisted of a sale on several light beers. My observation:
Right. It's half-price because it's half-beer.

Got a pint of Newcastle. Paid full price. Worth it.
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Re: Self proclaimed one-liners
Post by Imaginos1892   » Fri Feb 06, 2015 11:39 pm

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Somebody complained to me about some...er....unusual things found in the Craigslist singles section. I told her:
This is a free country. People are free to do things you don't like. Even things you might get offended and outraged about. You're free to tell them you don't like it. And they're free to tell you to piss off.

After all, I'm sure somebody would be offended by something you do.
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Re: Self proclaimed one-liners
Post by fallsfromtrees   » Sun Feb 08, 2015 2:33 am

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Imaginos1892 wrote:Somebody complained to me about some...er....unusual things found in the Craigslist singles section. I told her:
This is a free country. People are free to do things you don't like. Even things you might get offended and outraged about. You're free to tell them you don't like it. And they're free to tell you to piss off.

After all, I'm sure somebody would be offended by something you do.

Not if certain fundamentalist idiots get control of the government. They'll make it illegal to do anything they don't approve of.
========================

The only problem with quotes on the internet is that you can't authenticate them -- Abraham Lincoln
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Re: Self proclaimed one-liners
Post by Imaginos1892   » Tue Feb 10, 2015 10:03 pm

Imaginos1892
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Joined: Sat Mar 24, 2012 3:24 pm
Location: San Diego, California, USA

fallsfromtrees wrote:Not if certain fundamentalist idiots get control of the government. They'll make it illegal to do anything they don't approve of.

Oh, you're right about that. The world is full of self-important self-righteous assholes, eternally tormented by a conviction that Somebody, Somewhere is Doing Something they don't approve of, and driven by a compulsion to Do Something About It at any cost. When enough of them get together we get saddled with idiocies like Prohibition, blacklists, Blue Laws and so on.
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