This is a twofer. (2 4 1). And they both come from my 13-yr-old niece.
Honor Among EnemiesNo one would ever find her body, but it scarcely mattered, for the tidal bore of atmosphere slammed her against the edge of the hull breach and shattered her helmet instantly. John Kanehama screamed over his com as a flying alloy spear impaled him; Senior Chief O'Halley was cut in half by a splinter as long as he was tall; and Aubrey Wanderman retched into his helmet as the same splinter slashed through his own control party and tore Carolyn Wolcott and Lieutenant Jansen apart.
Uncle, I'm imagining puking into the helmet of the SCBA. Ewww!
****** *
One of the funniest things in the Honorverse. My niece's favorite. I am about to share an inside joke between my niece and I. It never ceases to get a laugh from us.
My brother has a .357 SIG. I'm telling you, it has to be the loudest handgun
I've ever heard. That thing barks like a rutted beast! My niece was visiting him on his modest horse farm in Arizona and was on her mobile in the old barn. My brother spotted a rattler and set it off in the barn with that monstrous sounding gun. In the excitement, he didn't bother to warn my niece who, again, was chatting nearby on her mobile. Here is part of her, abridged (sorry) email ...
"Your brother is nuts Uncle. He shot that darn gun without warning me. Is he crazy or something? Was he trying to give me a heart attack or what?"
"Were you really
that frightened Princess?"
"Are you kidding me Uncle? My butthole shut so tightly, that I was pooping diamonds for a week afterwards! Someone should just sell a small pocket device that simply
sounds like a .357. Who in their right mind would be dumb enough to hang around to see if it's real?"
A few days ago she sends me this, and is why I'm in
Honor Among Enemies now...
"Hey Unc.,
Remember the barn incident? Well imagine how Andre Warnicke must have felt when all of a sudden, BOOM BOOM BOOM, from Honor's .45. You know how much one shot frightened me? Well Warnicke was in a closed space and probably never ever even heard a gun like that before.
I betcha Warnicke shit his pants Uncle.
I'm speaking from experience, HE SHIT HIS PANTS UNCLE!
I know what you're thinking, but he shit them pants before he died!"
Honor Among EnemiesShe waited another few seconds, then pressed the third button on the case—the one the new number code had armed—and two things happened. First, the small but efficient jamming pod hidden in the demolition charge on the outside of the shuttle came to life, putting out a strong enough field to trash any radio signal. The shuttle's com lasers could still get the detonation order through, but even as the jammer went into action, the end of the case opened and the familiar weight of a cocked and locked .45 automatic slid out into her hand.
None of Warnecke's men realized anything had happened, for the seat in front of Honor hid the case from them. Besides, they knew she was unarmed, for they'd checked the case without finding the giveaway power source of a pulser or any other modern hand weapon. The possibility of a something so primitive it used chemical explosives had never even occurred to them.
Honor's expression didn't even flicker as she brought the pistol up in a smooth, flowing motion, and its sudden, deafening roar filled the passenger compartment like the hammer of God. The bodyguard named Allen had his flechette gun ready, but he never even realized he was dead as fifteen grams of hollow-nosed lead exploded through his forehead, and the stunning, totally unexpected concussion shocked every one of the privateers into a fatal fractional second of absolute immobility. The second bodyguard was just as shocked as anyone else, and he hadn't even begun to move when the gun roared again in the same sliver of time.
The bodyguard was hurled back out of his seat, spraying the bulkhead—and Andre Warnecke—with a gray-flecked bucket of red, and Honor was on her feet, holding the pistol in a two-handed grip.
"The party is over, Mr. Warnecke," she said, and her eyes were carved of frozen brown flint. She had to speak loudly to hear herself through the ringing in her ears, and she smiled as the privateer stared at her in numb disbelief. "Stand up and move away from the transmitter."
Warnecke swallowed, eyes wide as he realized he'd finally met a killer even more deadly than he, then nodded shakenly and started to push himself up. That was the instant the pilot made a dive for a fallen flechette gun, and the terrible, ear-shattering concussion of the .45 hammered the compartment twice more. The double tap wasn't a head shot this time, and the pilot had over fifteen seconds to scream, writhing on the deck while aspirated blood gushed from his mouth, before he died. But Honor didn't even blink, and the pistol was trained once more on Warnecke's forehead before he could even think about going for his own sidearm..