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Political Jokes

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Political Jokes
Post by cthia   » Tue Dec 16, 2014 6:52 am

cthia
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A naked politician will go unmolested in the jungle.

Predators will think it's a naked lie.

Son, your mother says I have to hang you. Personally I don't think this is a capital offense. But if I don't hang you, she's gonna hang me and frankly, I'm not the one in trouble. —cthia's father. Incident in ? Axiom of Common Sense
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Re: Political Jokes
Post by cthia   » Tue Dec 16, 2014 6:53 am

cthia
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Politicians are immune to alcohol, they always walk crooked.

Son, your mother says I have to hang you. Personally I don't think this is a capital offense. But if I don't hang you, she's gonna hang me and frankly, I'm not the one in trouble. —cthia's father. Incident in ? Axiom of Common Sense
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Re: Political Jokes
Post by cthia   » Tue Dec 16, 2014 7:02 am

cthia
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Politicians are like wolves.

They'll huff and they'll puff and they'll bring the House down.

Son, your mother says I have to hang you. Personally I don't think this is a capital offense. But if I don't hang you, she's gonna hang me and frankly, I'm not the one in trouble. —cthia's father. Incident in ? Axiom of Common Sense
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Re: Political Jokes
Post by cthia   » Tue Dec 16, 2014 7:04 am

cthia
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Never bye a politician a drink.

Lies and alcohol myx.

Son, your mother says I have to hang you. Personally I don't think this is a capital offense. But if I don't hang you, she's gonna hang me and frankly, I'm not the one in trouble. —cthia's father. Incident in ? Axiom of Common Sense
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Re: Political Jokes
Post by TN4994   » Tue Dec 16, 2014 9:13 am

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Today's politicians are well educated and surround themselves with enlightened advisers and speach writers.

"I was recently on a tour of Latin America, and the only regret I have was that I didn't study Latin harder in school so I could converse with those people." —Dan Quayle
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Re: Political Jokes
Post by Charybdis   » Tue Dec 16, 2014 9:48 am

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TN4994 wrote:Today's politicians are well educated and surround themselves with enlightened advisers and speach writers.

"I was recently on a tour of Latin America, and the only regret I have was that I didn't study Latin harder in school so I could converse with those people." —Dan Quayle

Texas-born John Nance "Cactus Jack" Garner immortalized himself on the quotes pages by referring to his job (VP under FDR 1933-41) as being "not worth a bucket of warm spit" although the use of 'spit' was a clean-up word. All US Vice Presidents are compromises for votes and insurance against untoward events. Some have proven themselves, most have not.

As for your "... and surround themselves with enlightened advisers and speach writers.", ;) are you sure that you want to go there? :? After all, there is a strong possibility that the dictionary is gaining another pejorative to rank with Lynch, Shrapnel and Boycott - 'Gruberize?'
-----

What say you, my peers?
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Re: Political Jokes
Post by TN4994   » Tue Dec 16, 2014 10:14 am

TN4994
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Charybdis wrote:
TN4994 wrote:Today's politicians are well educated and surround themselves with enlightened advisers and speach writers.

"I was recently on a tour of Latin America, and the only regret I have was that I didn't study Latin harder in school so I could converse with those people." —Dan Quayle

Texas-born John Nance "Cactus Jack" Garner immortalized himself on the quotes pages by referring to his job (VP under FDR 1933-41) as being "not worth a bucket of warm spit" although the use of 'spit' was a clean-up word. All US Vice Presidents are compromises for votes and insurance against untoward events. Some have proven themselves, most have not.

As for your "... and surround themselves with enlightened advisers and speach writers.", ;) are you sure that you want to go there? :? After all, there is a strong possibility that the dictionary is gaining another pejorative to rank with Lynch, Shrapnel and Boycott - 'Gruberize?'

Yep. Being sarcastic.
You have something against Hooker?
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Re: Political Jokes
Post by fallsfromtrees   » Tue Dec 16, 2014 8:36 pm

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TN4994 wrote:Today's politicians are well educated and surround themselves with enlightened advisers and speach writers.

"I was recently on a tour of Latin America, and the only regret I have was that I didn't study Latin harder in school so I could converse with those people." —Dan Quayle

What do you expect from someone who can't spell potato?
========================

The only problem with quotes on the internet is that you can't authenticate them -- Abraham Lincoln
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Re: Political Jokes
Post by TN4994   » Tue Dec 16, 2014 10:00 pm

TN4994
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fallsfromtrees wrote:
TN4994 wrote:Today's politicians are well educated and surround themselves with enlightened advisers and speach writers.

"I was recently on a tour of Latin America, and the only regret I have was that I didn't study Latin harder in school so I could converse with those people." —Dan Quayle

What do you expect from someone who can't spell potato?

If GH can stand for P as in Hiccough
If OUGH stands for O as in Dough
If PHTH stands for T as in Phthisis
If EIGH stands for A as in Neighbour
If TTE stands for T as in Gazette
If EAU stands for O as in Plateau
Then the way to spell it should be: GHOUGHPHTHEIGHTTEEAU; but
GHOUGHPTEIGHBTEAU is nice
P ~ hiccou gh
O ~ th ough
T ~ pt omaine
A ~ n eigh
T ~ de bt
O ~ bur eau
But Mr. Quale might have prefered:
GHOUGHPTEIGHBTEAUX, where the X indicated that eau is pronounced as a long ō, as in Bordeaux.
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Re: Political Jokes
Post by Annachie   » Thu Dec 18, 2014 1:17 am

Annachie
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Soon to be heard in an upper house near you:
"The chair recognized the Senator from Exxon-Mobil"
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You are so going to die. :p ~~~~ runsforcelery
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still not dead. :)
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