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Self proclaimed one-liners

For anyone who might want to have a side conversation...you're welcome here!
Re: Self proclaimed one-liners
Post by Caliban   » Tue Nov 25, 2014 4:57 pm

Caliban
Lieutenant (Senior Grade)

Posts: 83
Joined: Sat Mar 22, 2014 1:23 pm
Location: Wisconsin,USA

TN4994 wrote:Sports add -
Sometimes you win,
Sometimes you lose.
It all comes down to the shoes.


As in the old joke about the pair of hunters encountering an enraged bear, and running away- after a bit, one hunter sits down and begins changing his boots for running shoes.
"What are you doing?! We need to outrun the bear!"
"No," replies the other hunter as he stands. "I just need to worry about outrunning You."

Sorry, folks... couldn't resist.
====================================


"A wise man speaks because he has something to say; A Fool speaks because he has to say something."
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Re: Self proclaimed one-liners
Post by TN4994   » Tue Nov 25, 2014 7:21 pm

TN4994
Captain of the List

Posts: 404
Joined: Wed Nov 12, 2014 3:41 pm
Location: Apache County Arizona

Caliban wrote:
TN4994 wrote:Sports add -
Sometimes you win,
Sometimes you lose.
It all comes down to the shoes.


As in the old joke about the pair of hunters encountering an enraged bear, and running away- after a bit, one hunter sits down and begins changing his boots for running shoes.
"What are you doing?! We need to outrun the bear!"
"No," replies the other hunter as he stands. "I just need to worry about outrunning You."

Sorry, folks... couldn't resist.

Upon hearing this, I immediately pushed him onto his back, and ran to town. Once there, I strolled into a pub, ordered a beer, and drank to his pointing out that only one of us had to get away.
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Re: Self proclaimed one-liners
Post by Caliban   » Tue Nov 25, 2014 7:38 pm

Caliban
Lieutenant (Senior Grade)

Posts: 83
Joined: Sat Mar 22, 2014 1:23 pm
Location: Wisconsin,USA

Caliban wrote:
TN4994 wrote:
Snip...

As in the old joke about the pair of hunters encountering an enraged bear, and running away- after a bit, one hunter sits down and begins changing his boots for running shoes.
"What are you doing?! We need to outrun the bear!"
"No," replies the other hunter as he stands. "I just need to worry about outrunning You."

Sorry, folks... couldn't resist.

Upon hearing this, I immediately pushed him onto his back, and ran to town. Once there, I strolled into a pub, ordered a beer, and drank to his pointing out that only one of us had to get away.


Hmmm... one's in running shoes, and up- the other is in boots and somewhat confused.. Who drank to Whose memory?

:twisted: :twisted:
====================================


"A wise man speaks because he has something to say; A Fool speaks because he has to say something."
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Re: Self proclaimed one-liners
Post by cthia   » Tue Nov 25, 2014 8:24 pm

cthia
Fleet Admiral

Posts: 14951
Joined: Thu Jan 23, 2014 1:10 pm

TN4994 wrote:When being chased by a man-eating tiger, hope that you are a woman.

My sister's joke.

:lol:
Your sister is a riot! My sisters, and nieces as well, are going to get a kick and chuckle out of it too.

:lol: :lol: :lol:

Son, your mother says I have to hang you. Personally I don't think this is a capital offense. But if I don't hang you, she's gonna hang me and frankly, I'm not the one in trouble. —cthia's father. Incident in ? Axiom of Common Sense
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Re: Self proclaimed one-liners
Post by TN4994   » Tue Nov 25, 2014 8:40 pm

TN4994
Captain of the List

Posts: 404
Joined: Wed Nov 12, 2014 3:41 pm
Location: Apache County Arizona

Caliban wrote:
Snip...

As in the old joke about the pair of hunters encountering an enraged bear, and running away- after a bit, one hunter sits down and begins changing his boots for running shoes.
"What are you doing?! We need to outrun the bear!"
"No," replies the other hunter as he stands. "I just need to worry about outrunning You."

Sorry, folks... couldn't resist.
Upon hearing this, I immediately pushed him onto his back, and ran to town. Once there, I strolled into a pub, ordered a beer, and drank to his pointing out that only one of us had to get away.

Hmmm... one's in running shoes, and up- the other is in boots and somewhat confused.. Who drank to Whose memory?

:twisted: :twisted:

Proverb: "He who hunts in running shoes, does not have to remove heavy boots when chased by bear."
Truthfully: The secret is to be really, really scared. If you are calm enough to change from boots to running shoes, you've already lost.
Unless you injure the other hunter bad enough at the first opportunity.
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Re: Self proclaimed one-liners
Post by Caliban   » Tue Nov 25, 2014 9:03 pm

Caliban
Lieutenant (Senior Grade)

Posts: 83
Joined: Sat Mar 22, 2014 1:23 pm
Location: Wisconsin,USA

TN4994 wrote:
Caliban wrote:
Snip...

As in the old joke about the pair of hunters encountering an enraged bear, and running away- after a bit, one hunter sits down and begins changing his boots for running shoes.
"What are you doing?! We need to outrun the bear!"
"No," replies the other hunter as he stands. "I just need to worry about outrunning You."

Sorry, folks... couldn't resist.
Upon hearing this, I immediately pushed him onto his back, and ran to town. Once there, I strolled into a pub, ordered a beer, and drank to his pointing out that only one of us had to get away.

Hmmm... one's in running shoes, and up- the other is in boots and somewhat confused.. Who drank to Whose memory?

:twisted: :twisted:

Proverb: "He who hunts in running shoes, does not have to remove heavy boots when chased by bear."
Truthfully: The secret is to be really, really scared. If you are calm enough to change from boots to running shoes, you've already lost.
Unless you injure the other hunter bad enough at the first opportunity.


Got an even better idea- Let's just stay indoors and leave the loons who like that kind of sport to it( Raises mug of virtual beverage to TN4994)
====================================


"A wise man speaks because he has something to say; A Fool speaks because he has to say something."
Top
Re: Self proclaimed one-liners
Post by TN4994   » Tue Nov 25, 2014 9:14 pm

TN4994
Captain of the List

Posts: 404
Joined: Wed Nov 12, 2014 3:41 pm
Location: Apache County Arizona

Caliban wrote:
Got an even better idea- Let's just stay indoors and leave the loons who like that kind of sport to it( Raises mug of virtual beverage to TN4994)

Yes. I prefer to restrict my hunting to the food-market.
Hey, is that a virtual smorgasbord?
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Re: Self proclaimed one-liners
Post by fallsfromtrees   » Wed Nov 26, 2014 10:22 pm

fallsfromtrees
Vice Admiral

Posts: 1960
Joined: Tue Nov 04, 2014 10:51 am
Location: Mesa, Arizona

Some more of my favorite buttons:
Never follow a rule off a
c
l
i
f
f

But if I learn from my mistakes, it'll take the fun out of making them again.

We already have enough youth. How about a fountain of smart?

Sleep is great, but it's no substitute for caffeine.

Would somebody PLEASE reboot the clue server?
========================

The only problem with quotes on the internet is that you can't authenticate them -- Abraham Lincoln
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Re: Self proclaimed one-liners
Post by fallsfromtrees   » Wed Nov 26, 2014 10:54 pm

fallsfromtrees
Vice Admiral

Posts: 1960
Joined: Tue Nov 04, 2014 10:51 am
Location: Mesa, Arizona

Computer related buttons:

Upward compatible means we get to keep all our old mistakes.

Permanent job security is being the only one in the office who reads manuals.

If it's not on fire, it's a software problem.

General System Error: Please sacrifice a goat and two chickens to continue.

SCSI is *not* magic.There are fundamental technical reasons why it is necessary to sacrifice a youg goat to you SCSI chain now and then.
========================

The only problem with quotes on the internet is that you can't authenticate them -- Abraham Lincoln
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Re: Self proclaimed one-liners
Post by TN4994   » Thu Nov 27, 2014 12:40 am

TN4994
Captain of the List

Posts: 404
Joined: Wed Nov 12, 2014 3:41 pm
Location: Apache County Arizona

fallsfromtrees wrote:Computer related buttons:

Upward compatible means we get to keep all our old mistakes.

Permanent job security is being the only one in the office who reads manuals.

If it's not on fire, it's a software problem.

General System Error: Please sacrifice a goat and two chickens to continue.

SCSI is *not* magic.There are fundamental technical reasons why it is necessary to sacrifice a youg goat to you SCSI chain now and then.

To continue to next page, press any key. ??? Don't see an ANY key ???
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