Ironies, Redundancies, Life & Language Inconsistencies

cthia wrote:Everytime I listen to Alanis' Ironic, I get a little chuckle. Often, I come across other of life's ironies and language's inconsistencies. Many are rather humorous. Got any to share?

Here is one of mine. Sorry to open up with this particular one, but it gives me cause to pause and consider it every time I hear it ...

You dirty hoe!

But aren't all hoes dirty? They're used for digging in the dirt.

Alanis Morissette's IRONIC


An old man turned ninety-eight
He won the lottery and died the next day
It's a black fly in your Chardonnay
It's a death row pardon two minutes too late
And isn't it ironic... Don't you think

It's like rain on your wedding day
It's a free ride when you've already paid
It's the good advice that you just didn't take
Who would've thought... It figures

Mr. Play It Safe was afraid to fly
He packed his suitcase and kissed his kids goodbye
He waited his whole damn life to take that flight
And as the plane crashed down he thought
"Well isn't this nice..."
And isn't it ironic... Don't you think

It's like rain on your wedding day
It's a free ride when you've already paid
It's the good advice that you just didn't take
Who would've thought... It figures

Well life has a funny way of sneaking up on you
When you think everything's okay and everything's going right
And life has a funny way of helping you out when
You think everything's gone wrong and everything blows up
In your face

A traffic jam when you're already late
A no-smoking sign on your cigarette break
It's like ten thousand spoons when all you need is a knife
It's meeting the man of my dreams
And then meeting his beautiful wife
And isn't it ironic... Don't you think
A little too ironic... And, yeah, I really do think...

It's like rain on your wedding day
It's a free ride when you've already paid
It's the good advice that you just didn't take
Who would've thought... It figures

Life has a funny way of sneaking up on you
Life has a funny, funny way of helping you out

Helping you out

cthia wrote:

"I'm head over heels for her."

WTF does that mean? Unless you're saying that you're standing up for her. Aren't we all head over heels? Unless we're drunk.

Wouldn't it be more impressive if ...

I'm heels over head for her!

cthia wrote:One of my favorite tv shows "To Catch a Predator," features men caught trying to solicit sex from a minor. Yet, the female used to elicit the soliciting is very much of age. So, even though the guy wasn't aware, he was soliciting an adult, so how can he be charged with soliciting a minor???

The same with "Cops." Drug dealers caught selling fake drugs carry the same penalty as if the drugs were real??? WTF!

TN4994 wrote:In the case of the candidate being labelled a crooked crook.
If elected he should be an honest politician since we have a double negative.
Or is this where two wrongs don't make it right?

cthia wrote:Not sure if posting this is in good taste. But hey, no real names.

In college I had a friend, (let's call him Jay), . . ..This guy turned out to be the biggest of huge racists. I still can't believe the words he used against this lovely girl. We kept telling him he was an ass. . . .. Just a couple months ago, I run into this girl at a county fair. . . .. His father turned out to be half black. He found his father living amongst the black half of his family.

Here's the kicker; on the way home to meet her parents, they stopped at a store and she purchased a lottery ticket. She won. Over $20M.

Talk about life's ironies!

cthia wrote:We begin life as infants - wearing diapers.
We end life as oldies - wearing diapers.

I hope it isn't because man is inherently full of shit.

We talk schit
We do it.
We clean another's.
We all know schitheads- people who have it for brains.
People who create it.
And we're always walking into it, jumping into it and stepping in it.

We even spend our hard earned money on it, purchasing something we thought we were buying only to get it home and finding out it's a bunch of schit.

Politicians even invest in huge chunks, hot off the pile, because they talk more of it than a plumber.

As a kid I got and stayed into enough of it to warrant my signature.

Little wonder we don't have a huge rotary air impeller sitting off the aft port of Earth.

She's pure as the driven snow.