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Ironies, Redundancies, Life & Language Inconsistencies

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Re: Ironies, Redundancies, Life & Language Inconsistencies
Post by cthia   » Tue Nov 18, 2014 3:52 am

cthia
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"You've made your bed, now you're going to have to lie in it".

As opposed to lying in a mess of tangled covers?

How about, "you've unmade your bed, now you have to lie in it."

Son, your mother says I have to hang you. Personally I don't think this is a capital offense. But if I don't hang you, she's gonna hang me and frankly, I'm not the one in trouble. —cthia's father. Incident in ? Axiom of Common Sense
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Re: Ironies, Redundancies, Life & Language Inconsistencies
Post by cthia   » Tue Nov 18, 2014 3:58 am

cthia
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"I'm head over heels for her."

WTF does that mean? Unless you're saying that you're standing up for her. Aren't we all head over heels? Unless we're drunk.

Wouldn't it be more impressive if ...
I'm heels over head for her!

Son, your mother says I have to hang you. Personally I don't think this is a capital offense. But if I don't hang you, she's gonna hang me and frankly, I'm not the one in trouble. —cthia's father. Incident in ? Axiom of Common Sense
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Re: Ironies, Redundancies, Life & Language Inconsistencies
Post by cthia   » Tue Nov 18, 2014 4:03 am

cthia
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Well known idiom
"Look before you leap."

Yet ...
"He who hesitates is lost."

No wonder some kids are phucking confused.

- Suggested by 13-yr-old niece

Son, your mother says I have to hang you. Personally I don't think this is a capital offense. But if I don't hang you, she's gonna hang me and frankly, I'm not the one in trouble. —cthia's father. Incident in ? Axiom of Common Sense
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Re: Ironies, Redundancies, Life & Language Inconsistencies
Post by cthia   » Tue Nov 18, 2014 4:13 am

cthia
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The pen is mightier than the sword.

yet ...
Actions speak louder than words.

Son, your mother says I have to hang you. Personally I don't think this is a capital offense. But if I don't hang you, she's gonna hang me and frankly, I'm not the one in trouble. —cthia's father. Incident in ? Axiom of Common Sense
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Re: Ironies, Redundancies, Life & Language Inconsistencies
Post by cthia   » Tue Nov 18, 2014 4:16 am

cthia
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Posts: 14951
Joined: Thu Jan 23, 2014 1:10 pm

"Birds of a feather flock tobether."

yet
"Opposites attract."

Son, your mother says I have to hang you. Personally I don't think this is a capital offense. But if I don't hang you, she's gonna hang me and frankly, I'm not the one in trouble. —cthia's father. Incident in ? Axiom of Common Sense
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Re: Ironies, Redundancies, Life & Language Inconsistencies
Post by cthia   » Tue Nov 18, 2014 4:39 am

cthia
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Don't shit where you eat.

How on Earth did that ever come to mean - "don't sleep around with someone on your job?"

or the related version ...
Don't shit where you lay.

Don't fool around on your wife in your own neighborhood.

I guess it would be okay to piss where you eat?
I wouldn't want to piss where I lay either.

Although, I do piss and shit where I sit ... sometimes.

Son, your mother says I have to hang you. Personally I don't think this is a capital offense. But if I don't hang you, she's gonna hang me and frankly, I'm not the one in trouble. —cthia's father. Incident in ? Axiom of Common Sense
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Re: Ironies, Redundancies, Life & Language Inconsistencies
Post by cthia   » Tue Nov 18, 2014 4:54 am

cthia
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Very very drunk.
Tore up from the floor up.


When you're puking in the commode, is that like talking shit, confessions to a commode, or did someone flush a guy named Ralph?

And is it called a commode because it's a mode of com-munication?

Son, your mother says I have to hang you. Personally I don't think this is a capital offense. But if I don't hang you, she's gonna hang me and frankly, I'm not the one in trouble. —cthia's father. Incident in ? Axiom of Common Sense
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Re: Ironies, Redundancies, Life & Language Inconsistencies
Post by cthia   » Tue Nov 18, 2014 5:24 am

cthia
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If I choose correctly, the right side of the bed will be placed against the wall. But that will subject me to getting up on the wrong side of the bed every morning.

It goes against reason to put the wrong side of the bed against the wall. It's just plain wrong.

However, if manufactures marked the wrong side, we'll never get it right.

If you notice, most smart people just place a sofa at the foot of the bed, allowing them to easily exit the bed from neither side. :lol:

Son, your mother says I have to hang you. Personally I don't think this is a capital offense. But if I don't hang you, she's gonna hang me and frankly, I'm not the one in trouble. —cthia's father. Incident in ? Axiom of Common Sense
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Re: Ironies, Redundancies, Life & Language Inconsistencies
Post by cthia   » Tue Nov 18, 2014 5:28 am

cthia
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How does "have a nightcap" mean have a drink before bed?

Would a daycap be a drink before siesta?

Son, your mother says I have to hang you. Personally I don't think this is a capital offense. But if I don't hang you, she's gonna hang me and frankly, I'm not the one in trouble. —cthia's father. Incident in ? Axiom of Common Sense
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Re: Ironies, Redundancies, Life & Language Inconsistencies
Post by cthia   » Tue Nov 18, 2014 5:39 am

cthia
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Posts: 14951
Joined: Thu Jan 23, 2014 1:10 pm

I'm pissed at you.

If you're currently angry with me, then you're pissing at me. And that is just plain grotesque.

Does murder happen because you are shitted with people?

Son, your mother says I have to hang you. Personally I don't think this is a capital offense. But if I don't hang you, she's gonna hang me and frankly, I'm not the one in trouble. —cthia's father. Incident in ? Axiom of Common Sense
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