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Ironies, Redundancies, Life & Language Inconsistencies

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Ironies, Redundancies, Life & Language Inconsistencies
Post by cthia   » Thu Oct 23, 2014 3:15 pm

cthia
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Everytime I listen to Alanis' Ironic, I get a little chuckle. Often, I come across other of life's ironies and language's inconsistencies. Many are rather humorous. Got any to share?

Here is one of mine. Sorry to open up with this particular one, but it gives me cause to pause and consider it every time I hear it ...

You dirty hoe!

But aren't all hoes dirty? They're used for digging in the dirt. ;)

Alanis Morissette's IRONIC


An old man turned ninety-eight
He won the lottery and died the next day
It's a black fly in your Chardonnay
It's a death row pardon two minutes too late
And isn't it ironic... Don't you think

It's like rain on your wedding day
It's a free ride when you've already paid
It's the good advice that you just didn't take
Who would've thought... It figures

Mr. Play It Safe was afraid to fly
He packed his suitcase and kissed his kids goodbye
He waited his whole damn life to take that flight
And as the plane crashed down he thought
"Well isn't this nice..."
And isn't it ironic... Don't you think

It's like rain on your wedding day
It's a free ride when you've already paid
It's the good advice that you just didn't take
Who would've thought... It figures

Well life has a funny way of sneaking up on you
When you think everything's okay and everything's going right
And life has a funny way of helping you out when
You think everything's gone wrong and everything blows up
In your face

A traffic jam when you're already late
A no-smoking sign on your cigarette break
It's like ten thousand spoons when all you need is a knife
It's meeting the man of my dreams
And then meeting his beautiful wife
And isn't it ironic... Don't you think
A little too ironic... And, yeah, I really do think...

It's like rain on your wedding day
It's a free ride when you've already paid
It's the good advice that you just didn't take
Who would've thought... It figures

Life has a funny way of sneaking up on you
Life has a funny, funny way of helping you out

Helping you out :geek: :geek:

Son, your mother says I have to hang you. Personally I don't think this is a capital offense. But if I don't hang you, she's gonna hang me and frankly, I'm not the one in trouble. —cthia's father. Incident in ? Axiom of Common Sense
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Re: Ironies, Redundancies, Life & Language Inconsistencies
Post by cthia   » Thu Oct 23, 2014 3:20 pm

cthia
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Joined: Thu Jan 23, 2014 1:10 pm

Convicted felon.

How can you be a felon unless you're convicted? Until you're convicted, you're just a gambler.

Son, your mother says I have to hang you. Personally I don't think this is a capital offense. But if I don't hang you, she's gonna hang me and frankly, I'm not the one in trouble. —cthia's father. Incident in ? Axiom of Common Sense
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Re: Ironies, Redundancies, Life & Language Inconsistencies
Post by cthia   » Thu Oct 23, 2014 3:30 pm

cthia
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Joined: Thu Jan 23, 2014 1:10 pm

Priceless junk.

Half of my brother's home is just junk. My sisters bug him to get rid of it. "But it's priceless," he says.

What's priceless is the look on his face when our sisters insist he gets rid of it all. Is hoarding a disease?

Son, your mother says I have to hang you. Personally I don't think this is a capital offense. But if I don't hang you, she's gonna hang me and frankly, I'm not the one in trouble. —cthia's father. Incident in ? Axiom of Common Sense
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Re: Ironies, Redundancies, Life & Language Inconsistencies
Post by cthia   » Thu Oct 23, 2014 4:07 pm

cthia
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Joined: Thu Jan 23, 2014 1:10 pm

Not sure if posting this is in good taste. But hey, no real names.

In college I had a friend, (let's call him Jay), an acquaintance, who dated a very nice girl for two years. They even found out they lived in the same town. She was a very sweet and beautiful young lady. He went to her home to "meet the parents," after getting engaged. He dumped her after finding out she was half black and part asian.

The tirade we listened to. This guy turned out to be the biggest of huge racists. I still can't believe the words he used against this lovely girl. We kept telling him he was an ass. He wouldn't listen. I was totally pissed to learn that I had paid two years of a racist's tuition. He was from a broken family and his mother never talked of his father. She was so distraught that she never returned to school. She transferred.

Just a couple months ago, I run into this girl at a county fair. She tells me that the wholeass in question, Jay, researched and found his father. His father turned out to be half black. He found his father living amongst the black half of his family.

Here's the kicker; on the way home to meet her parents, they stopped at a store and she purchased a lottery ticket. She won. Over $20M. :lol:

Talk about life's ironies!

Son, your mother says I have to hang you. Personally I don't think this is a capital offense. But if I don't hang you, she's gonna hang me and frankly, I'm not the one in trouble. —cthia's father. Incident in ? Axiom of Common Sense
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Re: Ironies, Redundancies, Life & Language Inconsistencies
Post by cthia   » Tue Oct 28, 2014 2:03 am

cthia
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Posts: 14951
Joined: Thu Jan 23, 2014 1:10 pm

In my social circle, today during early voting, a political candidate was referred to as a crooked crook.

WTFIT? A super crook?

****** *

Please, exercise your right to an informed vote.

That way, when government's big dog bites you in the ass, you'll have the peace of mind that you at least tried to avoid it.

And who knows, you may just help save a piece of your ass, along with your peace of mind.

Son, your mother says I have to hang you. Personally I don't think this is a capital offense. But if I don't hang you, she's gonna hang me and frankly, I'm not the one in trouble. —cthia's father. Incident in ? Axiom of Common Sense
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Re: Ironies, Redundancies, Life & Language Inconsistencies
Post by cthia   » Tue Oct 28, 2014 12:44 pm

cthia
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Posts: 14951
Joined: Thu Jan 23, 2014 1:10 pm

A civil civil war.

Son, your mother says I have to hang you. Personally I don't think this is a capital offense. But if I don't hang you, she's gonna hang me and frankly, I'm not the one in trouble. —cthia's father. Incident in ? Axiom of Common Sense
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Re: Ironies, Redundancies, Life & Language Inconsistencies
Post by Howard T. Map-addict   » Tue Oct 28, 2014 5:09 pm

Howard T. Map-addict
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Location: Philadelphia, PA

Compared to a convicted misdemeanant.

HTM

cthia wrote:
Convicted felon.

How can you be a felon unless you're convicted? Until you're convicted, you're just a gambler.
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Re: Ironies, Redundancies, Life & Language Inconsistencies
Post by Daryl   » Wed Oct 29, 2014 6:35 am

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Getting close to oxymorons like - military intelligence, traffic calming devices, pretty ugly, the same difference, only choice, random order, and the like.

•"I can resist anything, except temptation." - Oscar Wilde
•"I like a smuggler. He is the only honest thief." - Charles Lamb
•"And faith unfaithful kept him falsely true." - Alfred Tennyson
•"Modern dancing is so old fashioned." - Samuel Goldwyn
•"A business that makes nothing but money is a poor business." - Henry Ford
•"I am busy doing nothing." - Oxymorons
•"A little pain never hurt anyone." - Word Explorations
•"I am a deeply superficial person." - Andy Warhol
•"No one goes to that restaurant anymore - It's always too crowded." - Yogi Berra
•"We are not anticipating any emergencies." - Word Explorations
•"A joke is actually an extremely really serious issue." - Winston Churchill
•"I like humanity, but I loathe persons." - Edna St. Vincent Millay
•"Always be sincere, even though you do not necessarily mean it." - Irene Peter
•"I generally advise persons never ever to present assistance." - P.G. Wodehouse
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Re: Ironies, Redundancies, Life & Language Inconsistencies
Post by biochem   » Mon Nov 03, 2014 1:24 pm

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Posts: 1372
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Location: USA

cthia wrote:Please, exercise your right to an informed vote.

That way, when government's big dog bites you in the ass, you'll have the peace of mind that you at least tried to avoid it.

And who knows, you may just help save a piece of your ass, along with your peace of mind.



And on that topic, this cartoon by Foxtrot.

http://www.foxtrot.com/2014/11/02/worth-a-shot/
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Re: Ironies, Redundancies, Life & Language Inconsistencies
Post by cthia   » Tue Nov 18, 2014 3:44 am

cthia
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Posts: 14951
Joined: Thu Jan 23, 2014 1:10 pm

German chocolate cake, originally German's chocolate cake, is a layered chocolate cake from the United States filled and topped with a coconut-pecan frosting. It owes its name to an American chocolate maker named Sam German, who developed a formulation of dark baking chocolate that came to be used in the cake recipe.

Yet, most Americans, at one time or another, think it's a specialty of Germans. Upon visiting Germany, you'll find that they don't know what the hell we're talking about.



Chicago is called the windy city. But most people think it's because of the weather.
Travelers to Chicago may experience the wind gusts that come off Lake Michigan, get tossed around a bit and think, “So this is why it’s called the Windy City.” The nickname, which dates back to the late 1870s, is deceiving: Chicago is literally a windy city, but that’s not what the phrase was intended to reference.

Talk to different people and you’ll get different answers, but most fingers point to Charles A. Dana, once the editor of the New York Sun—a paper published between 1833 and 1950—who wrote an editorial that said Chicago was windy because of its full-of-hot-air politicians. The Chicago Tribune even published a column in 2004, which they hold as the “definitive article on the term,” giving Dana credit. During the time of Dana’s proclamation, Chicago and New York were competing to host the 1893 World’s Columbian Exposition. The Tribune’s column writes that the famous phrase comes from when Dana advocated against the “nonsensical claims of that windy city. Its people could not hold a world’s fair even if they won it.”

The problem with using Dana as a source is that no one has ever been able to find this legendary editorial. Not even a date of publication.

According to Barry Popik, a New York City parking-ticket judge by day and a word sleuth by night, he has found the true origins of the phrase. He came across an entry in a May 9, 1876 Cincinnati Enquirer article with the headline, “THAT WINDY CITY. Some of the Freaks of the Last Chicago Tornado.” Popik said the headline used innuendo to comment on the speakers who were full of wind and that there was a windstorm. This is the earliest found reference of Chicago being called the Windy City, predating Dana’s use of the phrase by a little more than a decade.

Still, both the Tribune and the Chicago Public Library stand by the fact that Dana popularized the term, even if he didn’t coin it.

http://mentalfloss.com/article/49651/wh ... windy-city

Son, your mother says I have to hang you. Personally I don't think this is a capital offense. But if I don't hang you, she's gonna hang me and frankly, I'm not the one in trouble. —cthia's father. Incident in ? Axiom of Common Sense
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