Mange shrugs his shoulder.
"You can't they both stink."
<I can taste the mind-glow where you mind-blind two-legs can't and tell the difference!>
Poker & Mange
Honorverse Humor or lack thereof.
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by pokermind
» Tue Sep 09, 2014 2:59 pm
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pokermind
Posts: 4002
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Chief, "Stilties communicate partially by smell, so how can you tell the difference between a laugh and a fart?"
Mange shrugs his shoulder. "You can't they both stink." <I can taste the mind-glow where you mind-blind two-legs can't and tell the difference!> Poker & Mange CPO Poker Mind
 and, Mangy Fur the Smart Alick Spacecat."Better to be hung for a hexapuma than a housecat," Com. Pang Yau-pau, ART. |
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by pokermind
» Mon Sep 15, 2014 8:06 am
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pokermind
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Now a joke from our guest jester, Joe from the Author Taylor Anderson's blog:
Mac the pilot had not been a very good boy all his life and when he died at the controls of his plane he went to pilot’s hell, where he found a hideous devil and three doors. The devil was busy escorting other pilots to the various “hell rooms.” “I’ll be right back— don’t go wandering away on me till I come back.” said the devil as he vanished. Sneaking over to the first door, Mac peeked in and saw a cockpit where the pilot was condemned to forever run through pre-flight checks under the watchful eye of a condescending devilish FAA inspector. He slammed that door and peeked into the second door. There, alarms rang and red lights flashed while the pilot had to avoid one emergency after another under the watchful eye of an absolutist perfectionist devil of an FAA inspector who contemtously glared at him and kept threatening to jerk his ticket (Revoke his pilots license and ratings). Unable to imagine a worse fate, Mac hesitantly and cautiously opened the third door. He was amazed to see many beautiful, scantily clad flight attendants (stewardesses)fawning over and servicing; and answering to every order, command and whim of a pilot. He quickly closed the door and returned to his place just as the devil reappeared. “Ok Mac,” said the devil. “Which door will it be, #1, or #2?” “But I want #3,” answered Mac. “Sorry,” said the devil. “You can’t have door #3. “That’s our flight attendants (stewardesses)Hell.” Poker CPO Poker Mind
and, Mangy Fur the Smart Alick Spacecat."Better to be hung for a hexapuma than a housecat," Com. Pang Yau-pau, ART. |
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by pokermind
» Wed Sep 17, 2014 9:30 am
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pokermind
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Mange, <A chief joke:
<A crusty old battleship admiral died and found himself standing before Saint Peter at the pearly gates. Peter welcomed him warmly, “Come right in, Admiral! You’ve served your country well and you may enter Heaven!” <The admiral looked thru the gates and stepped up to Saint Peter, “Just one thing, sonny. I hope there’s no Chiefs here. They are the rudest, most obnoxious variety of human ever, and if there are any of them here, I’m not going in; I’d rather go to the other place.” <“Don’t worry, admiral,” said Saint Peter. “No Chief has ever made it into Heaven. You’ll find none of ‘em here.” <So, the admiral goes on into Heaven. Moments later, he comes upon an amazing sight. It is a swaggering figure in a dress blacks, barrette cocked slightly on his head, a mostly empty bottle of Jack Daniels in one hand, and a beautiful woman on either arm. <Incensed, the admiral rushes back to Saint Peter and gets in his face.”Hey! You said there were no Chiefs here! So what the hell is THAT?!?” <“Don’t worry, admiral,” says Saint Peter gently. “That’s God. He just THINKS he’s a Chief.”>   Chief, "Very funny flea bag!" Poker and Mange CPO Poker Mind
and, Mangy Fur the Smart Alick Spacecat."Better to be hung for a hexapuma than a housecat," Com. Pang Yau-pau, ART. |
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by cthia
» Thu Sep 18, 2014 7:38 pm
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cthia
Posts: 14951
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When is it safe to extract a hexapuma's teeth?
When he breaks a few off in yo ass! Son, your mother says I have to hang you. Personally I don't think this is a capital offense. But if I don't hang you, she's gonna hang me and frankly, I'm not the one in trouble. —cthia's father. Incident in ? Axiom of Common Sense |
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by Franavu
» Thu Sep 18, 2014 8:08 pm
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Franavu
Posts: 8
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So, I hope no one has done this before:
Victor Cachat can devide by zero. Victor Cachat can kill by looking into someone's eyes. Victor Cachat doesn't need health care, everyone in his viewing range does. Victor Cachat is the only person to really have "Birthdays". The rest of us have "Thank you Victor for allowing me to live another year- days". Victor Cachat CAN hear you with his eyes and see you with his ears. The grass is only ever greener on the other side of Victor Cachat. "Killed it" is a figure of speech implying someone stopped the banter. To Victor Cachat that's just the motto of his life. When Victor Cachat burns calories, he uses a flamethrower Victor Cachat doesn't walk away from explosions, explosions walk away from Victor Cachat Victor Cachat will never have a heart attack. His heart isn't nearly foolish enough to attack him. When the bogeyman goes to sleep, he checks his closet for Victor Cachat. etc. |
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by cthia
» Thu Sep 18, 2014 8:31 pm
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cthia
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Please, someone read him the riot act!!! Son, your mother says I have to hang you. Personally I don't think this is a capital offense. But if I don't hang you, she's gonna hang me and frankly, I'm not the one in trouble. —cthia's father. Incident in ? Axiom of Common Sense |
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by bunyipbelle
» Fri Sep 19, 2014 4:02 am
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bunyipbelle
Posts: 146
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A'hoy there me hearties! It's talk like a pirate day so here are some pirate jokes.
Q- If you see a person Not wearing a 3 cornered hat, not wearing an eye patch, without a wooden leg and with no parrot on his shoulder. What is he likely to be? A- A pirate in disguise! Q-Why don't pirates like to use the metric system? A- Because they like to say YARRRRRRRD! Q- What did the pirate say when crashed his ship upon the iceberg? A-Shiver me timbers! Q- Why don't pirates need lawyers? A-They prefer to settle through ARRRRbitration! Q- Why can't tree huggers be pirates? A-Because they are Land Lubbers!!! |
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by Vince
» Fri Sep 19, 2014 12:03 pm
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Vince
Posts: 1574
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Okay, here goes: Victor Cachat has to talk to women. Victor Cachat  and the thermal imagery blows his cover.-------------------------------------------------------------
History does not repeat itself so much as it echoes. |
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by pokermind
» Fri Sep 19, 2014 1:26 pm
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pokermind
Posts: 4002
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 CPO Poker Mind
and, Mangy Fur the Smart Alick Spacecat."Better to be hung for a hexapuma than a housecat," Com. Pang Yau-pau, ART. |
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by pokermind
» Tue Sep 23, 2014 12:33 am
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pokermind
Posts: 4002
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Mange, <Another Chief joke:
<Once upon a time three Naval Officers on planet were walking through the woods and suddenly they were standing in front of a huge, wild river. But they desperately had to get to the other side. But how, with such a raging torrent? The first Naval Officer knelt down and prayed to the Lord: “Lord, please give me the strength to cross this river!” <pppppfffffffuuuuffffffff* <The Lord gave him long arms and strong legs. Now he could swim across the river. It took him about two hours and he almost drowned several times. BUT: he was successful! <The second Naval Officer, who observed this, prayed to the Lord and said: “Lord, please give me the strength AND the necessary tools to cross this river!” <*pppppfffffffuuuuffffffff* <The Lord gave him a tub and he managed to cross the river despite the fact that the tub almost capsized a couple of times. <The third Naval Officer who observed all this knelt down and prayed: “Lord, please give me the strength, the means and the intelligence to cross this river!” <*pppppfffffffuuuuffffffff* <The Lord converted the Officer into a Chief. The Chief took a quick glance on the map, walked a few meters upstream and crossed the bridge.> Chief "Well this one is better!" Poker & Mange CPO Poker Mind
and, Mangy Fur the Smart Alick Spacecat."Better to be hung for a hexapuma than a housecat," Com. Pang Yau-pau, ART. |
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