Tombstone humour

Boot Hill, Tombstone, Arizona:

Here lies Lester Moore
Four slugs from a .44
No Les
No more

Silver City, Nevada:

Here lies a man named Zeke
Second fastest draw in Cripple Creek

Reserved for me:

When I was a sober man I'd worry, work and think,
When I was a happy man I'd party, smoke and drink,
And now my time is over, My life has come to pass,
I shall be buried upside down,
So the world can kiss my ass!

Love it. My own personal favorite:

Here lie the body of Johnathan Drake
Stepped on the gas instead of the brake.

And a couple of others (with pictures here: http://www.mandatory.com/2012/09/19/a-g ... es-around/

Well, this sucks

I will not be right back after this message

-For the talk-show host Merv Griffin, who was known for that phrase.

Looked up the elevator shaft to see if the car was on the waydown.
It was.

As for me personally, if I had to write my own right this minute (not to worry, I plan to stick around at least 25 more years) it would be:

Here lies an Agnostic
Guess he knows now.

Especially if you are running Lennex Firefox Mozilla. I clicked on the grave yard tomb stone humor site and it locked up my computer so fast and so hard. Sorry if this offends anybody. Perhaps that site and Lennex do not mix.

Anyhow...back to the fun. "I expected this, only not so soon!" "Now the mystery begins". "Wait...I have changed my mind!" "This Life Was A Blessing And Thank You". "It's not that life is so short....it's just that dead is for so long!"

HB of CJ (old coot) Cm. I love this forum.

HB of CJ wrote:Especially if you are running Lennex Firefox Mozilla. I clicked on the grave yard tomb stone humor site and it locked up my computer so fast and so hard. Sorry if this offends anybody. Perhaps that site and Lennex do not mix.

Anyhow...back to the fun. "I expected this, only not so soon!" "Now the mystery begins". "Wait...I have changed my mind!" "This Life Was A Blessing And Thank You". "It's not that life is so short....it's just that dead is for so long!"

HB of CJ (old coot) Cm. I love this forum.

HB-sorry to hear that. I just clicked in with my Mozilla Firefox and had no issues.

Thank you. Now beginning to wonder if there may be something going on inside my dinkum thinkum. There is also just one Forum, (out of 17) that locks up my computer tight. Had to leave that fine Forum.

Here is more; "Hey Guys, Watch This!" "Took This Life Off And Thank You." "Curious And Curiouser". "They Told Me This Would Happen". "Being Dead Sucks". "Kicking and Screaming". "Ear And Nose Plugs". (think that one through) HB of CJ (old coot) Cm. I love this Forum.

PS; If the problem rests within my "Lennex" computer, I am now wondering what it could be. Everything checks out OK. Henry.

I am assuming you actually mean a LINUX computer.

If that is the case, I might try downloading a different LINUX compatible browser and trying again using that. I suspect the problem is with the browser trying to execute some sort of command which a PC or MAC understand, but is not executable under whatever LINUX distribution you are using.

Since there are so many different LINUX distributions, I really have no other advise to give except go to one of the many LINUX bulletin boards and ask there (with as much detail as you can think of to add, including distribution, any error messages you received and what you did to restart your computer).

Hope this helps

Hi HB.
Sorry about the LINUX Kryptonite! Hope you get it sorted.
I'm glad you got through and managed to post - good stuff too.

Hi Hutch.
Nice, particularly the personal choice.

Here are a few more:

East Dalhousie Cemetery, Nova Scotia

Here lies
Ezekiel Aikle
Aged 102
The Good
Die Young.

Boot Hill Cemetery, Tombstone Arizona

Here lays Butch
We planted him raw.
He was quick on the trigger
But slow on the draw.

Martin Elginbrod

Here lie I, Martin Elginbrod,
Hae mercy on my soul Lord God,
As I would do were I Lord God,
And ye were Martin Elginbrod.

--Introducing a candidate for the worst and most destructive last-words of all time--

If his body were not quartered and displayed. If his Clan were not exterminated and if he were not prohibited mourning or burial. His Tombstone may have read:

Fang Xiaoru (1357-1402)

I wish I hadn't said that!

The gravestones of the 10 Familial Agnates (approx. 873 people of various ages and sexes)

We REALLY wish he hadn't said that!!

The exchanges that led to this -

(The usurping)
Yongle Emperor:
"Laud us then, in the style of the Duke of Zhou"

(The VERY stubborn)
Fang Xiaoru:
"Where then is King Cheng?"

Whereupon threatened for non-compliance, with the most severe punishment the Law Allowed - The Nine Familial Punishments.

Fang Xiaoru:
"Never mind nine agnates; go ahead with ten!"

Which the Yongle Emperor went ahead and did!! (The only official example of this in Chinese history)


Peace and Love. Grabthar out.

I have a book with grave epathaths and some of them are down right hilarious.

He called Bill Smith a lier

He died in an explosion of R.E. Danforths non-explosive burning fluid

And one of the best

I told you, I was sick

From the tombstones at Nashkel, in the "Baldur's Gate" game:

------------------------------------------

"stranger, Tread this ground with gravity, Dentist Mark B is filling his last cavity."

-------------------------------------------

This is the final resting place of Elben.
Who lost his life to an Ankheg.
Eaten but not forgotten.

-------------------------------------------

Dean.
The lean, mean killing machine, died.

-------------------------------------------

Dave F, slain by 13 Gibberlings, 4 Kobolds, 6 Ogres, and 2 Dire Wolfs.

Ne invoces expellere non possis
(Do not call up that you cannot put down)

-------------------------------------------

A bard, of sorts, with skill in rhyme and reason made the words come clear,
He gladly wrote for all to hear and therin lies the rub, my friends.
He set his starts too far from ends, so "less is more" or go unread.
A lesson learned. Too bad I'm dead.

Lukas K.

-------------------------------------------

Here lies John W:

looked up the mine shaft
to see if the cart was on the way down.
It was.

-------------------------------------------

Here lies Andrew, the quality of his armour was not assured.

-------------------------------------------

Here lies Gilles.

Used no net
Knew no fear
Made mis-step
Wound up here

-------------------------------------------

Here lies Henrik.
Who was fatally burned
13 Mirtul, 1358,
by the explosion of a lamp
filled with "P.J. Stanford's
Non-Explosive Burning Fluid

-------------------------------------------

Poor Steve,
When we said, "Heads up", old friend, we meant it.

-------------------------------------------

Feargus-
who said, "Is it done yet?"
"not yet I bet!"
(once too many!)

-------------------------------------------

I was Nashkel born
and Nashkel bred
and here I lay
Nashkel Dead!
-Dave H

-------------------------------------------

This is the final resting place of Russ.

"Everyone dies, it's how you live that matters"

-------------------------------------------

Charles

One note too many. One day too late...

-------------------------------------------

When they said "animate" the dead
poor Tony took it literally.

-------------------------------------------

Dan W.

He died at a public gathering when the platform gave way.

-------------------------------------------

Here lies Arnel.
"You should see the other guy."

-------------------------------------------

There once was a man named Don,
who fell asleep on his lawn.
They thought he was pretending to be dead,
then a tombstone fell on his head.
And now Don is long gone.

-------------------------------------------

Here lies the body of Rob.
If not, please notify the undertakers at once.

-------------------------------------------

Here lies Dan M

"When I can no longer stand alone, then it will be time to die."

-------------------------------------------

Beneath this stone, a lump of clay
Lies Mark D the young
Who on the twenty-third of May
Began to hold his tongue

-------------------------------------------

Here lies Cass
More principium est.
(Death is the beginning)

-------------------------------------------

Larry's last words:
"Let's split up, we'll cover more ground"

-------------------------------------------

Here Lies Tobyn
Who believed in the good of all,
Died at the hands of zombies whilst asking for directions

-------------------------------------------

Here lies Kelly, an Atheist
All dressed up
And no place to go

-------------------------------------------

Forever to be remembered, Marcia

"bestiae sumus, ut non bestiae simus"
(Beasts we are, lest we beasts become)

-------------------------------------------

Iain O Gallchobhair

"Mea Gloria Fides"

-------------------------------------------

Ross the long-haired hippy agitatoread.
But he was so young and beautiful

-------------------------------------------

Mike:I feel my body rising towards the bright light...wait, now it's falling,
What the HELL!

-------------------------------------------

here lies Rick
Who was always a few links shy of a chain

-------------------------------------------

Chris Parker (1 Kythorn, 1347)

He never returned from his last journey up North...

-------------------------------------------

Here lies Greg.

Reader if cash thou art
In want of any
Dig four feet deep
And thou wilt find a penny

-------------------------------------------

The reports of my death have been greatly underestimated, James.

-------------------------------------------

Ben's last words:
"I regret nothiiinnnngg!"

-------------------------------------------

Ray-
who said, "This damn game will be...
the death of me!"

-------------------------------------------