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Self proclaimed one-liners

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Re: Self proclaimed one-liners
Post by cthia   » Fri Aug 22, 2014 12:01 am

cthia
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"What is it about me that you like?"

"The fact that when we break up I won't miss you."

Son, your mother says I have to hang you. Personally I don't think this is a capital offense. But if I don't hang you, she's gonna hang me and frankly, I'm not the one in trouble. —cthia's father. Incident in ? Axiom of Common Sense
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Re: Self proclaimed one-liners
Post by cthia   » Fri Aug 22, 2014 12:03 am

cthia
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"What is it about me that you don't like?"

"The fact that there's nothing about you that I like."

Son, your mother says I have to hang you. Personally I don't think this is a capital offense. But if I don't hang you, she's gonna hang me and frankly, I'm not the one in trouble. —cthia's father. Incident in ? Axiom of Common Sense
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Re: Self proclaimed one-liners
Post by cthia   » Fri Aug 22, 2014 12:13 am

cthia
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My fiancée
Politicians always lie because honest Abe told the truth about everything and only got a penny for his thoughts.

Son, your mother says I have to hang you. Personally I don't think this is a capital offense. But if I don't hang you, she's gonna hang me and frankly, I'm not the one in trouble. —cthia's father. Incident in ? Axiom of Common Sense
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Re: Self proclaimed one-liners
Post by Imaginos1892   » Fri Aug 22, 2014 12:16 am

Imaginos1892
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cthia wrote:My fiancée
Politicians always lie because honest Abe told the truth about everything and only got a penny for his thoughts.

I say they lie because they believe that they can change the facts if they can just find the right lie and tell it convincingly enough.

And that they can make inconvenient facts go away by refusing to believe them.
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Re: Self proclaimed one-liners
Post by cthia   » Fri Aug 22, 2014 12:21 am

cthia
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Posts: 14951
Joined: Thu Jan 23, 2014 1:10 pm

cthia wrote:
My fiancée
Politicians always lie because honest Abe told the truth about everything and only got a penny for his thoughts.

Imaginos1892 wrote:I say they lie because they believe that they can change the facts if they can just find the right lie and tell it convincingly enough.

And that they can make inconvenient facts go away by refusing to believe them.


My sister says politicians lie because their lips are moving.

Son, your mother says I have to hang you. Personally I don't think this is a capital offense. But if I don't hang you, she's gonna hang me and frankly, I'm not the one in trouble. —cthia's father. Incident in ? Axiom of Common Sense
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Re: Self proclaimed one-liners
Post by Imaginos1892   » Fri Aug 22, 2014 12:26 am

Imaginos1892
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cthia wrote:My sister says politicians lie because their lips are moving.

She's confusing cause and effect. That's just how you can tell they're lying. Your engine doesn't overheat because the temperature guage reads "H".
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Re: Self proclaimed one-liners
Post by cthia   » Fri Aug 22, 2014 12:29 am

cthia
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Joined: Thu Jan 23, 2014 1:10 pm

Imaginos1892 wrote:
cthia wrote:
My sister says politicians lie because their lips are moving.

She's confusing cause and effect. That's just how you can tell they're lying. Your engine doesn't overheat because the temperature guage reads "H".

:lol:

Son, your mother says I have to hang you. Personally I don't think this is a capital offense. But if I don't hang you, she's gonna hang me and frankly, I'm not the one in trouble. —cthia's father. Incident in ? Axiom of Common Sense
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Re: Self proclaimed one-liners
Post by cthia   » Fri Aug 22, 2014 12:32 am

cthia
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Joined: Thu Jan 23, 2014 1:10 pm

If you're going to get caught being unfaithful, always ensure you're in the proper position, then you can always claim you're doing missionary work.

Son, your mother says I have to hang you. Personally I don't think this is a capital offense. But if I don't hang you, she's gonna hang me and frankly, I'm not the one in trouble. —cthia's father. Incident in ? Axiom of Common Sense
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Re: Self proclaimed one-liners
Post by Imaginos1892   » Fri Aug 22, 2014 12:42 am

Imaginos1892
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Posts: 1332
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Location: San Diego, California, USA

Congress is 535 ants floating down the Potomac on a soap box, thinking they're in control of it.
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Re: Self proclaimed one-liners
Post by cthia   » Fri Aug 22, 2014 12:45 am

cthia
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Posts: 14951
Joined: Thu Jan 23, 2014 1:10 pm

Imaginos1892 wrote:
If you dream you're at work, can you claim it as overtime?

What if you solve a work-related problem in your dream - and the solution still works after you wake up?

Of course you can, but ppl never do because it isn't profitable. The IRS will just tax it. It's called REM sleep — Remove Enough Money.

Son, your mother says I have to hang you. Personally I don't think this is a capital offense. But if I don't hang you, she's gonna hang me and frankly, I'm not the one in trouble. —cthia's father. Incident in ? Axiom of Common Sense
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