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Honorverse Humor or lack thereof.

Join us in talking discussing all things Honor, including (but not limited to) tactics, favorite characters, and book discussions.
Re: Honorverse Humor or lack thereof.
Post by lyonheart   » Wed Jun 11, 2014 1:43 pm

lyonheart
Fleet Admiral

Posts: 4853
Joined: Tue Sep 08, 2009 11:27 pm

Hi Pokermind,

Thanks for making me smile.

All the very best wishes.

L


pokermind wrote:Mange, <And now a blast from the past:>

JenBurdoo wrote:Three Grayson Navy chaplains are standing in their SD's observation lounge during the looooooong run in to battle, gazing at the stars and thinking about the Tester. One of them says to the others, "Brothers, at a time like this I feel moved to confess my sins. I am ashamed to own that I drink too much; in fact, I've got something of a hangover right now."

"I too am a sinner," says the second chaplain. "I lust for the flesh. In fact, I slept with one of our Manticoran loaner officers last night."

They both look sidelong at the third chaplain. "And you, Brother. Have you a besetting sin to confess?"

"Yes," says the third chaplain. "I have this terrible, unstoppable urge to gossip."


<Hmm sounds like cthia a terrible gossip :D >

Mange
Any snippet or post from RFC is good if not great!
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Re: Honorverse Humor or lack thereof.
Post by Commodore Oakius   » Wed Jun 11, 2014 4:22 pm

Commodore Oakius
Captain (Junior Grade)

Posts: 257
Joined: Fri May 23, 2014 10:11 am

Shout out to Kenny Rodger, and asking his forgivness :lol: :

"The Podder"

You have to know when to hold them
know when to roll them
know when to fire them all
and know when to save some
Never count your pods,
in the middle of a battle
there be time enough to recover them
When the shootin's done


In a cold back water system
on a new poder sent to show the flag
i met with a peeper
We were both to shocked to talk
We took turns a'rolling
our ships wedges up
When the panic settled
He opened his comms

HE said I have fought
dozens of people like you
knowing their courage levels
by the way they hold my eyes
SO i gotta say to ya
I know I got ya beat here
If you want some advise
Go home and have a Tillman.

So I screwed up my courage
stared him down across the distance
Popped a cigar in my mouth
Copied Tourville to my best
then I blew smoke rings
right at the screen an said
I got a suprise up my tubes so
Id advise you to depart... Beacause...

I know when to hold them
know when to roll them
know when to fire them all
and know when to save some back
Never count your pods,
in the middle of a battle
there be time enough to recover them
When the shootin's done!!!!


Should I do the last two sections?
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Re: Honorverse Humor or lack thereof.
Post by bunyipbelle   » Thu Jun 12, 2014 1:02 am

bunyipbelle
Lieutenant Commander

Posts: 146
Joined: Wed Jun 12, 2013 2:53 am

I really loved it. Definately do the last two sections.


Commodore Oakius wrote:Shout out to Kenny Rodger, and asking his forgivness :lol: :

"The Podder"

You have to know when to hold them
know when to roll them
know when to fire them all
and know when to save some
Never count your pods,
in the middle of a battle
there be time enough to recover them
When the shootin's done


In a cold back water system
on a new poder sent to show the flag
i met with a peeper
We were both to shocked to talk
We took turns a'rolling
our ships wedges up
When the panic settled
He opened his comms

HE said I have fought
dozens of people like you
knowing their courage levels
by the way they hold my eyes
SO i gotta say to ya
I know I got ya beat here
If you want some advise
Go home and have a Tillman.

So I screwed up my courage
stared him down across the distance
Popped a cigar in my mouth
Copied Tourville to my best
then I blew smoke rings
right at the screen an said
I got a suprise up my tubes so
Id advise you to depart... Beacause...

I know when to hold them
know when to roll them
know when to fire them all
and know when to save some back
Never count your pods,
in the middle of a battle
there be time enough to recover them
When the shootin's done!!!!


Should I do the last two sections?
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Re: Honorverse Humor or lack thereof.
Post by Commodore Oakius   » Fri Jun 13, 2014 10:28 am

Commodore Oakius
Captain (Junior Grade)

Posts: 257
Joined: Fri May 23, 2014 10:11 am

Commodore Oakius wrote:Shout out to Kenny Rodger, and asking his forgivness :lol: :

"The Podder"

You have to know when to hold them
know when to roll them
know when to fire them all
and know when to save some
Never count your pods,
in the middle of a battle
there be time enough to recover them
When the shootin's done


In a cold back water system
on a new poder sent to show the flag
i met with a peeper
We were both to shocked to talk
We took turns a'rolling
our ships wedges up
When the panic settled
He opened his comms

HE said I have fought
dozens of people like you
knowing their courage levels
by the way they hold my eyes
SO i gotta say to ya
I know I got ya beat here
If you want some advise
Go home and have a Tillman.

So I screwed up my courage
stared him down across the distance
Popped a cigar in my mouth
Copied Tourville to my best
then I blew smoke rings
right at the screen an said
I got a suprise up my tubes so
Id advise you to depart... Beacause...

I know when to hold them
know when to roll them
know when to fire them all
and know when to save some back
Never count your pods,
in the middle of a battle
there be time enough to recover them
When the shootin's done!!!!


Should I do the last two sections?

Now every spacer knows
The secret to laserheads
Is knowing when to roll your wedge
An’ when to trust your ECM and PDL
Cause rolling the wedge
Keeps you from firing
You cant track the missiles
so fire when you can

And when the hailstorm had past
The peep rolled up his ship
He turned away from me
And head on outsystem
To the hyperlimit in the dark
As the loser he limped away
But I found in my pods
An ace I kept up my sleeve

Because,

You have to know when to hold them
know when to roll them
know when to fire them all
and know when to save some
Never count your pods,
in the middle of a battle
there be time enough to recover them
When the shootin's done
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Re: Honorverse Humor or lack thereof.
Post by Commodore Oakius   » Fri Jun 13, 2014 10:30 am

Commodore Oakius
Captain (Junior Grade)

Posts: 257
Joined: Fri May 23, 2014 10:11 am

May the Allman Borther forgive me ;) :

"I was Born a Dolist Man"

Lord I was born a dolist man
Getting my linvin from pari the best that I can
And when its time for learnin’
I really don’t need to
Because I was born a dolist man

My father was a dolist just like me
Ma and he collected just like the rest, free
I was almost given to a crèche of state
But they got more money for me

Lord I was Born a dolist man
Getting my linvin from pari the best that I can
And when its time for learnin’
I really don’t need to
Because I was born a dolist man

I’m heading down to pick up my dolist check
Its around the corner but I wont be back
Until I head to the bars with my dolist buddies three
And we drink to the people in the big seats of Nouvo Pari

Lord I was born a dolist man
Getting my linvin from pari the best that I can
And when its time for learnin’
I really don’t need to
Because I was born a dolist man
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Re: Honorverse Humor or lack thereof.
Post by Commodore Oakius   » Fri Jun 13, 2014 12:04 pm

Commodore Oakius
Captain (Junior Grade)

Posts: 257
Joined: Fri May 23, 2014 10:11 am

Apologies to Charlie Daniels Band, Devil went down to Georgia.

Tourville went down to Sidemore

Tourville went down to Sidemore, he was looking to blindside Honor
He was torn, being so far from home but he was willing to carryon
While camped out in a nowhere system a destroyer failed to check in
He decided to move somewhere else to anchor his secret fleet

When the word came in they the set their sails and rode the grav wave
IT was quite the dare to take considering how much he was able to save
Now Honor was good at fighin’ but Tourvile knew his stuff too
He bet his fleet to hers saying to her, “I’m better than you”

He was less confident then he seemed
But the cowboy persona stood its ground, and his eyes gleamed

Honor, get you impellers node warm and LACs out
Tourviles is coming to Sidemore , and he has a surprise to shout
And if you win you’ll send him a’packing home
But if you lose the Peeps mouth will foam

Tourville dropped out of Hyper leaving a foot print that glowed
And sparks dazzled the plot as his Aviaries let go
As his SDP’s lock their targets up it made an evil tone
And a flock of LAC’s floated out as shoals of pods deployed

When Tourville was done he felt pretty good and was sure he had a’won
But then Dame Honor blew the horn for Paul Revere and Grayson appeared.
Mouse trapped between two fleets your done
Honor’s got you sandwiched right where she wants son
LACs and pods deploy and ECM’s fire
Don’t you feel like Peter Rabbit in the Briar

Now Tourville bowed his head because he knew he was beat
With the cigar in hand and confidence strong, he sound the retreat
“We’ll get them next time, Thunderbolt is sure to strike them elsewhere”
Honor showed her teeth, she’d won, and now the peeps were out of her hair
For now but:
They hit elsewhere on this attack too.
Hell will pay when Honor come home
She’ll lead the return from Manticore’s womb
Then the Peeps nightmare will be true…


Do poeple like these or should I stop?
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Re: Honorverse Humor or lack thereof.
Post by pokermind   » Sat Jun 14, 2014 8:04 am

pokermind
Fleet Admiral

Posts: 4002
Joined: Tue Oct 25, 2011 8:58 am
Location: Jerome, Idaho, USA

Chief, "I like."

Mange, <So do I. How about one with a treecat, 'A Treecat Named Nimitz' with apologies to Johnny Cash's 'Boy named Sue,' perhaps?> :D

"Now one of ours:"

He is a Manticorian

By: Poker & Mange with apologies to Gilbert & Sullivan and, thanks to Grabthar’s Hammer for the inspiration.

Tune Gilbert and Sullivan’s ‘He is an Englishman’:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8Fb8snjIQyo

Crewman:
I, humble, poor, and lowly born,
The meanest in the port division
The butt of epauletted scorn
The mark of quarterdeck derision
Have dared to raise my wormy eyes
Above the dust to which you'd mould me,
In manhoods glorious pride to rise,
I am a Manticorian, behold me

All:
He is a Manticorian!

Boatswain:
He is a Manticorian
For he himself has said it
And it's greatly to his credit
That he is a Manticorian!

All:
That he is a Manticorian!

Boatswain:
He could have been Solarian, a Havenite, an Andermani, a Selesian or, perhaps Me-sa-in!

All:
Or perhaps Me-sa-in!

Boatswain:
And despite the temptations to belong to other nations he remains a Manticorian! He remains a Ma-a-a-ti-cor- i- a- n!

All:
And despite the temptations to belong to other nations he remains a Manticorian! He remains a Ma-a-a-ti-cor- i- a- n!

Image

Poker & Mange :oops:

Commodore Oakius wrote:Apologies to Charlie Daniels Band, Devil went down to Georgia.

Tourville went down to Sidemore

Tourville went down to Sidemore, he was looking to blindside Honor
He was torn, being so far from home but he was willing to carryon
While camped out in a nowhere system a destroyer failed to check in
He decided to move somewhere else to anchor his secret fleet

When the word came in they the set their sails and rode the grav wave
IT was quite the dare to take considering how much he was able to save
Now Honor was good at fighin’ but Tourvile knew his stuff too
He bet his fleet to hers saying to her, “I’m better than you”

He was less confident then he seemed
But the cowboy persona stood its ground, and his eyes gleamed

Honor, get you impellers node warm and LACs out
Tourviles is coming to Sidemore , and he has a surprise to shout
And if you win you’ll send him a’packing home
But if you lose the Peeps mouth will foam

Tourville dropped out of Hyper leaving a foot print that glowed
And sparks dazzled the plot as his Aviaries let go
As his SDP’s lock their targets up it made an evil tone
And a flock of LAC’s floated out as shoals of pods deployed

When Tourville was done he felt pretty good and was sure he had a’won
But then Dame Honor blew the horn for Paul Revere and Grayson appeared.
Mouse trapped between two fleets your done
Honor’s got you sandwiched right where she wants son
LACs and pods deploy and ECM’s fire
Don’t you feel like Peter Rabbit in the Briar

Now Tourville bowed his head because he knew he was beat
With the cigar in hand and confidence strong, he sound the retreat
“We’ll get them next time, Thunderbolt is sure to strike them elsewhere”
Honor showed her teeth, she’d won, and now the peeps were out of her hair
For now but:
They hit elsewhere on this attack too.
Hell will pay when Honor come home
She’ll lead the return from Manticore’s womb
Then the Peeps nightmare will be true…


Do poeple like these or should I stop?
CPO Poker Mind Image and, Mangy Fur the Smart Alick Spacecat.

"Better to be hung for a hexapuma than a housecat," Com. Pang Yau-pau, ART.
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Re: Honorverse Humor or lack thereof.
Post by cthia   » Sun Jun 15, 2014 4:28 am

cthia
Fleet Admiral

Posts: 14951
Joined: Thu Jan 23, 2014 1:10 pm

Since ships only have sidewalls on top, bottom and sides they are totally vulnerable from the front and back.

Strategy: Kick 'em in the balls. Shove it up their wedge.

Son, your mother says I have to hang you. Personally I don't think this is a capital offense. But if I don't hang you, she's gonna hang me and frankly, I'm not the one in trouble. —cthia's father. Incident in ? Axiom of Common Sense
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Re: Honorverse Humor or lack thereof.
Post by cthia   » Sun Jun 15, 2014 4:34 am

cthia
Fleet Admiral

Posts: 14951
Joined: Thu Jan 23, 2014 1:10 pm

In the heat of every battle, what is Pavel Young's favorite tactic?

Flash his running lights.

Son, your mother says I have to hang you. Personally I don't think this is a capital offense. But if I don't hang you, she's gonna hang me and frankly, I'm not the one in trouble. —cthia's father. Incident in ? Axiom of Common Sense
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Re: Honorverse Humor or lack thereof.
Post by Michael Everett   » Sun Jun 15, 2014 6:51 am

Michael Everett
Admiral

Posts: 2621
Joined: Tue Nov 03, 2009 3:54 am
Location: Bristol, England

A quick attempt to change a well-known song.
I am the very model of a Manty naval admiral
I've information strategic, diplomat, and tactical,
I know the kings of Manticore, and I quote the fights historical
From Basilisk up to Lovat, in order categorical

I'm very well acquainted, too, with matters mathematical,
I understand equations, both the simple and quadratical,
About binomial theorem I'm teeming with a lot o' news,
With many cheerful facts about the square of the hypotenuse.

I'm very good at integral and differential calculus;
I know the scientific names of beings animalculous:
In short, in matters strategic, diplomat, and tactical,
I am the very model of a Manty naval admiral.

I know our ancient history, From Landing to the Mesan plots
I answer hard acrostics, I've a pretty taste for paradox,
I quote in elegiacs all the crimes of Heliogabalus,
In conics I can floor peculiarities parabolous;
I can tell true Akimotos from Gerard Dows and Zoffanies,
I know the croaking chorus from The Frogs of Aristophanes!
Then I can hum a fugue of which I've heard the music's din afore,
And whistle all the airs from that infernal nonsense Pinafore.
Then I can write a washing bill in Babylonic cuneiform,
And tell you ev'ry detail of Caractacus's uniform
In short, in matters strategic, diplomat, and tactical,
I am the very model of a Manty naval admiral.

In fact, when I know what is meant by "mamelon" and "ravelin",
When I can tell at sight a viper missile from a Javelin
When such affairs as sorties and surprises I'm more wary at,
And when I know precisely what is meant by "commissariat",
When I have learnt what progress has been made in modern gunnery,
When I know more of tactics than a novice in a nunnery –
In short, when I've a smattering of elemental strategy –
You'll say a better naval admiral has never sat a gee
For my military knowledge, though I'm plucky and adventury,
Has only been brought down to the beginning of the century;
But still, in matters strategic, diplomacy, and tactical,
I am the very model of a Manty naval admiral.
~~~~~~

I can't write anywhere near as well as Weber
But I try nonetheless, And even do my own artwork.

(Now on Twitter)and mentioned by RFC!
ACNH Dreams at DA-6594-0940-7995
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