Non-Honorverse one-liners

Aha, the Monstrous Regiment ...

Ankh Morpork had overtaken cunning a thousand years ago, had sped past devious, had left artful far behind, and had now, by a roundabout route, arrived at straightforward.

It must have been the socks talking.

It is an established fact that, despite everything society can do, girls of seven are magnetically attracted to the colour pink.

Mark Knofler of Dire Straits at Wembley, announcing a substitute guitarist. "Sorry about this folks, he's never played at Wembley before, but he has played, Eric Clapton"

Daryl wrote:Mark Knofler of Dire Straits at Wembley, announcing a substitute guitarist. "Sorry about this folks, he's never played at Wembley before, but he has played, Eric Clapton"

Nice one Daryl. Wish I could have been there. Did you attend? I'd've been grinning like a cheshire cat!

Have been rereading Jane Austen, and stumbled upon :

An unhappy alternative is before you, Elizabeth. From this day you must be a stranger to one of your parents. Your mother will never see you again if you do NOT marry Mr. Collins, and I will never see you again if you DO.

Another one from Lois McMaster Bujold, Komar:


"If he didn't have to guess, he didn't have to guess wrong."

The Amazing Spider Man 2, May Parker...

"Don't just follow the path. Make your own trail."

She raised me!!!

One of the most powerfully delivered lines, imbued with both scathing rebuke and magnanimous feeling.

Emma Stone, The Help

Top Gear is one of my favorite shows on BBC -America (yes, I know there is no accounting for taste and I probably have none anyway...) and has some recurring one-liners that anyone who has watched the show already knows...)

How hard can it be?

Usually uttered right before things go massively wrong.

Well, that went well.

It didn't.

It's capable of going fast in the same way that Queen Victoria was capable of running. It just doesn't seem to like it very much.

on the Renault Vel Satis--and something like it about almost every car they test-drive

And it seems like quite a lot, when you peel away this amazing body and find out what's underneath. Yep, underneath the abs and the pecs is a GMC Tahoe, which is ugly, big, slow, and is completely flummoxed by snow, mud, gravel, soil, grass clippings, drizzle, or even a light breeze. [On the Hummer H2]

-They are not fond of American cars...

... And on that bombshell!

THe end of the show every week

If you're thinking of coming to America, this is what it's like: you've got your Comfort Inn; you got your Best Western; you got your Red Lobster where you eat. Everybody's very fat, everybody's very stupid and everybody's very rude. It's not the holiday programme—it's the truth.

-After driving from Miami to New Orleans...

Something happened to a friend today. He was at a clients store when a patron asked if there was a good restaurant nearby. He saiddepends what kind of food you like. She said Nazi food. He was pretty shocked but managed to ask the store owner if there was a German restaurant nearby. She informed the patron there wasn't a German restaurant nearby but suggested another place. The patron happily left. The store owner asked why he insisted on a German resurant, he said it was the only thing he could think of when she said Nazi food. The store owner then corrected him, she said no seafood.

Lord Skimper wrote:Something happened to a friend today. He was at a clients store when a patron asked if there was a good restaurant nearby. He saiddepends what kind of food you like. She said Nazi food. He was pretty shocked but managed to ask the store owner if there was a German restaurant nearby. She informed the patron there wasn't a German restaurant nearby but suggested another place. The patron happily left. The store owner asked why he insisted on a German resurant, he said it was the only thing he could think of when she said Nazi food. The store owner then corrected him, she said no seafood.

As someone who has 40 dB of "Cookie-Bite" hearing loss, I find this story TOTALLY believable.
FFI, see URL: http://www.hear-it.org/Cookie-bite-hearing-loss-1

I've been in similar situations over and over again and again. When I hear people saying such ridiculous statements, I have to often ask myself, "Did they really mean that?" and "What OTHER thing could they have meant to say?"



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