Non-Honorverse one-liners

From the Dresden Files.

But they weren't chasing a rabbit. They were chasing a Wabbit. A wascally wabbit. A wascally wabbit with a Winchester.

I prefer the opening line:

"The building was on fire.
And it wasn't my fault...."

along with:
"Thomas, Why did you buy big breed puppy chow?"

Invictus wrote:From the Dresden Files.

But they weren't chasing a rabbit. They were chasing a Wabbit. A wascally wabbit. A wascally wabbit with a Winchester.

Sue: "Is it...poisonous?"
Crocodile Dundee: "Huh? Oh yeah. Deadly!"
[Heaves the 12-foot snake out into the night]
Crocodile Dundee: "Not bad eatin', but they always give me gas."

Two and a Half Men
Charlie's mother Evelyn.

Whatever you do, keep it to yourself. Confession's good for the soul, but it's like a hot-lead enema to a marriage.

Some B5 spoilers ahead

A few of my favorites from B5 which haven't been put up yet.


(Early in the Earth Civil War, shortly after B5 declares independence)

Delenn=This is Ambassador Delenn of the Minbari. Babylon 5 is under our protection. Withdraw…or be destroyed!
Loyalist captain=Negative. We have authority here. Do not force us to engage your ship.
Delenn=Why not? Only one human captain has ever survived battle with a Minbari fleet. He is behind me. You are in front of me. If you value your lives, be somewhere else.



(Londo dealing with a pest probelm)

Londo Mollari: I swear, they are evolving right before my eyes.
(He turns to his guests)
Londo: If you see something this big with eight legs coming your way, let me know. I have to kill it before it develops language skills.

Londo= Your ships are very impressive in the air, or in space, but at this moment, they are on the ground.
Morden= Right. They're on the ground. But they can sense an approaching ship miles away. So what're you gonna do, Mollari, huh? Blow up the island?
Londo= Actually…now that you mention it…
[Londo pulls out a remote detonator]
Morden: NO!
(Londo hits the trigger)

(Londo after returning to the station and being asked if his people had gotten tiired of having him around) "Tired? No, don't be absurd. Why, the Emperor himself said I would only be allowed to leave over his dead body. I thought, "Well, how strange. Mr. Allan said I would only be allowed back onto Babylon 5 over his dead body." With my busy schedule I'm afraid I can only accommodate so many requests. I'm sorry, Mr. Allan, but I'm afraid you'll simply have to wait your turn!"

(G'Kar after another Narn tries Swedish meatballs and thinks they are a food from their homeworld.) "It's an Earth food. They are called Swedish meatballs. It's a strange thing, but every sentient race has its own version of these Swedish meatballs! I suspect it's one of those great universal mysteries which will either never be explained, or which would drive you mad if you ever learned the truth

Yet Another Londo Quote (from The Illusion Of Truth, season 4)

Londo: "When I said my quarters were cold, I did not mean, 'Oh, I think it's a little chilly in here, perhaps I'll throw a blanket on the bed.' No, I said it was cold, as in 'Oh, my left arm has snapped off like an icicle and shattered on the floor!' This is highly inappropriate, Captain!"

From Atonement:

Lennier: "I managed to…explain matters to them. They will recover, in time."
---------------
Gentlemen! You can't fight in here - this is the War Room!

From B5 again :

Bester wrote:I assume, my usual quarters in the brig are available. I have grown so attached to the place.

Lyta Alexander wrote:Thank you. That was probably the most elegant attempt to change the topic I have ever heard.

G'kar wrote:Once you have finished killing each other, we can plow under all the buildings, and plant rows of flowers that spell out the words 'Too annoying to live !', in letters that can be seen from space !

What is more dangerous than a locked room full of angry Narns ?
One angry Narn with the key.

From ender's game :

- Just one more example of the stupidity of the military. If you had any brains, you'd be in a real career, like selling life insurance.
- You, too, mastermind.

We've just got to face the fact that we're second rate. With the fate of humanity in our hands.

When I'm tense, I eat. Whereas when you're tense, you spout solid waste.

Dungeon Keeper Ami wrote: “Lord Crowned Death,” Mukrezar said, bowing his head. “Welcome! Thank you for gracing us humble beings with your attention!” He straightened. “Now, without further ado - a little speech!”

His audience groaned, more so than was typical for the undead.

The pink-haired elf pointed at his chest with his thumb and grinned. “Evil, remember?”

Dead faces failed to reflect any kind of amusement.

http://www.fanfiction.net/s/4107314/31/Deva_04_Endless_Waltz wrote:"'You're a fine one to talk of danger,' Megan commented, 'little miss I'll-find-out-how-deep-it-is-when-I-hit-bottom.'"

http://www.fanfiction.net/s/5849474/35/No_Tendo wrote:"Let me get this straight," Uranus muttered, pinching the bridge of her nose. "We may just have to protect alien life sucking fiends from a pack of over anxious teenage girls."

"Looks that way."

"That is so wrong. So very wrong.

http://www.fanfiction.net/s/345691/15/Girl_Days wrote:"He's so... dashing."

"Yeah... I've never seen anyone so romantic and agile..."

"What a man!"

There was a pause.

"You know, technically he's a panda."

"I'm not prejudiced."

http://www.fanfiction.net/s/4673040/5/And-If-That-Dont-Work wrote:"You know Rits, sometimes I get the feeling you're not being totally honest with me."

"We're Nerv. Everyone's related to everyone else and we screw each other in the dark."

"Yeah... ewww."

Ritsuko sighed. "I could have phrased that better."

http://www.fanfiction.net/s/5175006/48/Divine-Blood wrote:He had a minor thought, a bit later than would have been useful, as corollary to one of the "Evil Overlord Lists" he'd heard while on Earth.

When locking someone in the storeroom, make sure it's not MacGyver. Make damn sure it's not a mad scientist.