When I think of one-liners, the first name that comes to my mind is Lois Bujold. Maybe it's because I so love Miles the Maniac Vorkosigan. On second thought, I find it strange that that first name is not Terry Pratchet, because for me he is the ultimate catch-phrase master ever...but then my mind is a strange place
Bujold's phrases are on the whole more serious, while Pratchet is almost always utterly hilarious. And anyone who's ever read him knows his underline notes - they are better that the main text from a lot of other writers
Here are some examples:
L.M. Bujold
"Reputation is what other people know about you. Honor is what you know about yourself"
followed by
“There is no more hollow feeling than to stand with your honor shattered at your feet while soaring public reputation wraps you in rewards. That's soul-destroying. The other way around is merely very, very irritating.”
and
“Guard your honor. Let your reputation fall where it will. And outlive the bastards.”
“Since no one is perfect, it follows that all great deeds have been accomplished out of imperfection. Yet they were accomplished, somehow, all the same.”
Of cource, she can be funny when she chooses to
“Never do yourself, what you can con professionals into doing for you.”
“Oh, was that liquor of yours a stimulant?" asked Elena. "I wondered why he didn't fall asleep."
"Couldn't you tell?" chuckled Mayhew.
"Not really."
Miles twisted his head to take in Elena's upside-down worried face, and smile in weak reassurance. Sparkly black and purple whirlpools clouded his vision. Mayhew's laughter faded. "My God," he said hollowly, "you mean he's like that all the time?”
“Think of the glory. Think of your reputation. Think how great it'll look on your next resume."
"On my cenotaph, you mean. Nobody will be able to collect enough of my scattered atoms to bury. You going to cover my funeral expenses, son?"
"Splendidly. Banners, dancing girls, and enough beer to float your coffin to Valhalla."
- Miles coaxing Ky Tung to agree to an almost suicidal mission”
“The Imperial Service could win a war without coffee, but would prefer not to have to.”
And one of my favorites:
“Miles clutched Quinn's elbow. "Don't Panic."
"I'm not panicking," Quinn observed, "I'm watching you panic. It's more entertaining .”
Terry Pratchet (assume a comfortable sitting position, and prepare your face and stomach muscules for a robust exercise)
I'll start with a line that I still remember after 20 years.
“As large as worlds. As old as Time. As patient as a brick.”
It is from "The Light Fantastic" - the second book in the Discworld series and the first Pratchet book I ever read. It is on page one, in the first paragraph. I started laughing there and two pages later had to stop reading, because i literally could not stop laughing - it took me something like 5 minutes to calm down. The line itself is not that hilarious, but it really displays the wicked sense of humor that fills the Discworld. Enjoy
“If complete and utter chaos was lightning, then he'd be the sort to stand on a hilltop in a thunderstorm wearing wet copper armour and shouting 'All gods are bastards!”
“Some pirates achieved immortality by great deeds of cruelty or derring-do. Some achieved immortality by amassing great wealth. But the captain had long ago decided that he would, on the whole, prefer to achieve immortality by not dying.”
“I'm sure you won't dream of trying to escape from your obligations by fleeing the city...'
'I assure you the thought never even crossed my mind, lord.'
'Indeed? Then if I were you I'd sue my face for slander.”
“It is at this point that normal language gives up, and goes and has a drink.”
“It was all very well going on about pure logic and how the universe was ruled by logic and the harmony of numbers, but the plain fact of the matter was that the Disc was manifestly traversing space on the back of a giant turtle and the gods had a habit of going round to atheists' houses and smashing their windows.”
“Rincewind tried to force the memory out of his mind, but it was rather enjoying itself there, terrorizing the other occupants and kicking over the furniture.”
“He felt that the darkness was full of unimaginable horrors - and the trouble with unimaginable horrors was that they were only too easy to imagine...”
“The sun rose slowly, as if it wasn't sure it was worth all the effort.”
“Ankh-Morpork! Pearl of cities! This is not a completely accurate description, of course — it was not round and shiny — but even its worst enemies would agree that if you had to liken Ankh-Morpork to anything, then it might as well be a piece of rubbish covered with the diseased secretions of a dying mollusc.”
“...the little man's total obliviousness to all forms of danger somehow made danger so discouraged that it gave up and went away.”
“Do you think there’s anything to eat in this forest?”
“Yes,” said the wizard bitterly, “us.”
“Now, there is a tendency at a point like this to look over one’s shoulder at the cover artist and start going on at length about leather, tightboots and naked blades.
Words like ‘full’, ‘round’ and even ‘pert’ creep into the narrative, until the writer has to go and have a cold shower and a lie down.
Which is all rather silly, because any woman setting out to make a living by the sword isn’t about to go around looking like something off the cover of the more advanced kind of lingerie catalogue for the specialized buyer.
Oh well, all right. The point that must be made is that although Herrena the Henna-Haired Harridan would look quite stunning after a good bath, a heavy-duty manicure, and the pick of the leather racks in Woo Hun Ling’s Oriental Exotica and Martial Aids on Heroes Street, she was currently quite sensibly dressed in light chain mail, soft boots, and a short sword.
All right, maybe the boots were leather. But not black.”
“The demon coughed nervously. Demons do not breathe; however, every intelligent being, whether it breathes or not, coughs nervously at some time in its life. And this was one of them as far as the demon was concerned.”
“My personal theory is that he has a very firm grasp upon reality, it's simply not a reality the rest of us have ever met before.”
“I could use you—if you pass the tests, of course. There are three of them. You have passed the first."
"What are the other—" Hrun paused, his lips moved soundlessly and then he hazarded, "two?”
“Rincewind tried shutting his eyes, but there were no eyelids to his imagination and it was staring widely”
Finally, for the true maniacs, some good sources for additional materiel:
http://www.goodreads.com/author/quotes/ ... ter_Bujoldhttp://www.goodreads.com/author/quotes/ ... _PratchettThese are the main pages. I would suggest, especially in Pratchet's case, to check for quotes book by book - there may be some missing.
