Non-Honorverse one-liners

Okay... just to get away from B5 for awhile, I thought I'd post some quotes from my favorite (and arguably, the best) PC game of all time, Deus Ex.

Opening scene:

Bob Page: Your appointment with FEMA should be finalized within the week. I've already discussed the matter with the Senator.
Walton Simons: I take it he was agreeable?
Bob Page: He didn't really have a choice.
Walton Simons: Has he been infected?
Bob Page: Oh yes. Most certainly. When I mentioned we could put him on the priority list for the Ambrosia vaccine, he was so willing it was almost pathetic.
Walton Simons: This plague... the rioting is intensifying to the point where we may not be able to contain it.
Bob Page: Why contain it? Let it spill over the schools and churches, let the bodies pile up in the streets. In the end they'll beg us to save them.
Walton Simons: I've received reports of armed attacks on shipments. There's not enough vaccine to go around, and the underclasses are starting to get desperate.
Bob Page: Of course they're desperate; they can smell their deaths, and the sound they'll make rattling their cages will serve as a warning to the rest.
Walton Simons: Mmm. I hope you're not underestimating the problem. Intelligence suggest they're behind the problems in Paris.
Bob Page: Bunch of pretentious old men playing at running the world. But the world left them behind long ago. We are the future.
Walton Simons: We have other problems.
Bob Page: UNATCO?
Walton Simons: Formed by executive order after the strike on the Statue. I have someone in place though. I'm more concerned about Savage. He's relocated to Vandenberg.
Bob Page: Our biochem corpus is far in advance of theirs, as is our electronic sentience, and their 'ethical inflexibility' has allowed us to make progress in areas they refuse to consider.
Walton Simons: The augmentation project?
Bob Page: Among others. But, I must admit, I've been somewhat disappointed with the performance of the primary unit.
Walton Simons: The secondary unit should be online soon. It's currently undergoing preparations and should be operational within six months. If necessary, the primary will be terminated.
Bob Page: We've had to endure much, you and I, but soon there will be order again. A new age. Aquinas spoke of the mythical city on the hill, soon that city will be real and we will be crowned its kings. Or, better than kings... Gods!

Walton Simons: You take another step forward and here I am again, like your own reflection in a hall of mirrors.
JC Denton: That makes me one ugly son of a bitch

Bob Page: Soon, I will become pure energy. I will burn like the brightest star.
JC Denton: You're gonna burn, all right.

JC Denton: You've got ten seconds to beat it before I add you to the list of NSF casualties.

UNATCO troop 1: Don't you know what a philanthropist is?
UNATCO troop 2: Yeah, like Nietzche.
UNATCO troop 1: No, a philanthropist. Giving to charity.
UNATCO troop 2: Oh.

JC Denton: Bravery is not a function of firepower

Anna Navarre: You're wearing sunglasses on a night operation?
JC Denton: My vision is augmented.

Anna Navarre: Are you sure you pressed the right button?
Gunther Hermann: I do not make mistakes of that kind.
Anna Navarre: Your hand might have slipped.
Gunther Hermann: No. I wanted orange. It gave me lemon-line.
Anna Navarre: The machine would not make a mistake.
Gunther Hermann: It's the maintenance man. He knows I like orange.
Anna Navarre: So you think the staff has some kind of plot...
Gunther Hermann: Yes. They do that on purpose

JC Denton: Has martial law hurt business?
Bartender, Club la porte de l'enfer: Hurt business? HURT BUSINESS? You can't even ride the metro! How are people supposed to go to a club if they can't ride the metro?
JC Denton: I came through the sewers.
Bartender, Club la porte de l'enfer: Like a stinking rat. That's all we get here - stinking rats. Or the Gestapo. And THEY want free drinks.

HOLD it! This is the Non-Honorverse One-Liners topic and some of you are neglecting to include any Non-Honorverse One-Liners!

Whoops, forgot! Sorry. I´ll make up for it now instead:

"Will behave upon exhausting the alternatives"

"Sleep? That' the unproductive phase where my head crashes upon the keyboard ?"

+++Divide+By+Cucumber+Error.+Please+Reinstall+Universe+And+Reboot.+++
-- Terry Pratchett

"If a cat is wrapped in tinfoil and fired out of a gauss rifle, does it still land on its feet? - Pyro"
Mr Ghost Bear

"Lithium is also used medically in the treatment of depression. Perhaps the LiH battery simply keeps the KF core from getting depressed, allowing it to jump twice in rapid succession?"
Worktroll @ CBT

"I JUST got a firm grip on Reality... NOW I can strangle it!"
Blackfire @ Wolfpack

>"Notice: PLEASE NOTICE!!
You may have noticed the increased amount of notices for you to notice. And, we have noticed that some of our notices have not been noticed. This is very noticeable. It has been noticed that the responses to the notices have been noticeably unnoticeable. Therefore, this notice is to remind you to notice the notices and to respond to the notices because we do not want the notices to go unnoticed.
--From the Notice Committee for Noticing Notices"<
Deadroot @ AB

An optimist sees the glass as half full, while a pessimist sees it as half empty.
A TRUE optimist however quickly makes sure to empty his glass and get a refill.
BO@DH


While a realist asks the questions: What is in the glass, and how much does it hold?
Green Leader@DH

While a syndicalist overturns the glass!
Krille@DH

Incoming firepower has the right of way. (Steel Panthers)

"One reason the services may have trouble operating jointly is that they don’t speak the same language. For example, if you told Navy personnel to “secure a building,” they would turn off the lights and lock the door. The Army would occupy the building so no one could enter. The Marines would assault the building, capture it, and defend it. The Air Force, on the other hand, would take out a three year lease with an option to buy."
Primo Beer @ SMQ

"Why is it when a group of peasants or some religious cult offers me up a sacrifice, it's always a skinny if not downright bony virgin instead of one of those fat juicy High Priests?"
Sendaz @ Wolfpack (Terry Pratchett)

" Unfortunately, as the Maus Heavy Panzer Division ground inexorably forward across the Russian steppe, continental drift was slowly carrying their destination off in the other direction. Were they getting closer to Moscow?... or further away?"
Blue Emu @ Paradox HOI2 Forums

"Is nef a high rune? Can I get Enigma for it? My sorceress needs it to teleport."

(funny for those who played the game)

"Ok, hopefully i got that correct now, any complaints, please head to the public relations office over there, across the bridgeless moat with the really big crocodiles in and then left past that minefield..."
DW75

"Rep(rope). Lyktstolpe(streetlight). Riksdagsman(member of parliament).
Some assembly required."
AceRimmer @ DH

"You have the right to remain silent. Anything you say will be misquoted, then used against you."

Most determinative sentence in life: THE RACE IS NOT OVER, B'COZ I HAVEN'T WON YET!

"Why should the chicken NOT cross the road??

A: It would be a fowl proceeding!

"I feel a great disturbance in the farce, as if a million catgirls meowed in terror then were suddenly silenced"
Grim Reaper @ CBT

"-Reach out and touch someone, use all your firepower."
"-Reach out and touch someone, the alpha strike way."

"No battle plan ever survives intial contact with the enemy."
"No battle plan ever survives intial contact with the dice." Icchan @ CBT

"No battle plan ever survives intial contact with the enemy."
"Half the time it's lucky to survive contact with your planning staff."
MisterPants @ CBT

"The Pen is mightier than the sword.
(points to the three story atomic powered pen in the backyard)"
Jeyar @ CBT

There’s no such thing as hitting a demon 'too hard'. There’s only 'not hard enough' and 'yay, it's dead'. Sometimes 'yay, it's dead' is just a little messier than others."
Willow@Buffy

"There is a difference between 'simple plan' and 'simple planning'.
And then there's 'simpletons planning'..."
Narf the Mouse @ Spacebattles.com

"the single butterfly wing, clapping in the forest where no one can hear the infinite number of monkeys typing the continuing adventures of a cat trapped in a box that may or may not be playing with chaos string theory."
Yosemite Bear @ Spacebattles.com

"Politics is the art of looking for trouble, finding it everywhere, diagnosing it incorrectly and applying the wrong remedies." -- Groucho Marx

"You...you missed? With a nuke" -Herb regarding one of Weirdo's tactical mistakes."

>>>>[I used to be against the idea of Mind-Control Lasers, but now they're here I can't imagine how I ever lived without them]<<<<
>>>>[You're only jealous because the voices don't talk to you]<<<<

Because clearly the list of "Do nots" is an instruction manual of the things we must all try before we nod sagely and say "Yep shouldn't do that.""

"In space a bolt can screw you." -Planetes Vol. 1

(great anime series btw)

"When I said we were going to 'disrobe' the planet I meant it as a pun on...*sigh*, Nevermind..... just put your clothes back on."
BlackAce @ CBT

"With ABC deleting dynamite gags from cartoons, do you find that your children are using explosives less frequently?"
-- Mark LoPresti

And out of chaos i heard a voice that said: Smile and be happy, it could be worse. And i smiled and was happy, and look, it got worse.

"He´d been wrong, there was a light at the end of the tunnel, and it was a flamethrower."
"Ankh-Morpork had dallied with many forms of government and had ended up with that form of democracy known as One Man, One Vote. The Patrician was the Man; he had the Vote."

"`It would seem that you have no useful skill or talent whatsoever,´ he said. `Have you thought of going into teaching?´"
- Mr. Keeble, the job broker, trying to find a new career for an ANTHROPOMORPHIC PERSONIFICATION (Death)
Terry Pratchett

"A penny saved, is my penny"
"Quick draw gets the worm"
"Haste makes sense, so hurry up and pay me"
"All that glitters, is mine"
Gloria/"Daphne in the brilliant blue"

"As Winston Churchill put it, “The Admiralty had demanded six ships; the economists offered four; and we finally compromised on eight”."

Originally Posted by Duchess
"Thou shalt not weigh more than thy refrigerator"

"The very powerful and the very stupid have one thing in common: Instead of altering their views to fit the facts, they alter the facts to fit their views, which can be very uncomfortable if you happen to be one of the facts that need altering." -- Doctor Who

"Seen on the front of a Hunchback IIC:
If you can read this, you have made a serious tactical error."

>>>>>"Hey Kosh..."
"Hey Sachiel..."
"Watcha doing?"
"Just kicking back... Drinking a bud... Kicking some whiny kid's butt...."
Before Kosh could say "cool" his communicator chirps and shows that it's the Shadow liason...
"Hello?"
"WHAT DO YOU WAAAAAAAAAAAAANT?!"
"WHO ARE YOOOOOOOOOOOU?!"
"AAAAAAAAA"
"OOOOOOOO"
"Cool."
Sachiel distracted by the conversation doesn't even notice the purple giant getting up behind him...<<<<<

>>>>>
Chiyo -Um... since Yukari-sensei´s car looks bigger, why not put 3 people in it instead?
Nyamo -Isnt it better for less people to die?
Chiyo !!!...
<<<<<
Azumanga Daioh

"The difference between fiction and reality? Fiction has to make sense."

Good enough?

Michael Everett wrote:

Invictus wrote:One last one. I'm worried this will turn into a Babylon 5 quote page at this rate

And the problem with that would be...?

We'd have to change the thread title?

From The Inspector General

"It's not as bad as you think, Gypsy Boy. It's much worse than that."

From Crysis:

"I'm a marine son! I'll walk on water if I have to! Now get off my island while I draw its fire!"

From The Dresden Files- Changes

"Cattle. You are c-cattle."
"Moo." And I lifted my right hand... I poured all that was left of my fury into my hand and snarled, "No one touches my little girl."

Tenshinai wrote:"The difference between fiction and reality? Fiction has to make sense."

I've seen a different version:

Fiction must be plausible. Reality just has to happen.

And now I take you to Stargate:

Vala: "How much worse could it get?"
[There is a grinding noise, and the chamber ceiling starts to descend. Mitchell gives her a very dirty look.]
Vala: "Knew it was a mistake the moment I said it."

Later (and a much lower ceiling):

Vala: "We could crouch down by the altar stone. That should stop it."
[The altar stone starts retracting into the floor.]
Mitchell: [Another dirty look]
Vala: [Pained expression]

-----------------
Bring out yer dead!

Invictus wrote:From The Inspector General

"It's not as bad as you think, Gypsy Boy. It's much worse than that."

From Crysis:

"I'm a marine son! I'll walk on water if I have to! Now get off my island while I draw its fire!"

From The Dresden Files- Changes

"Cattle. You are c-cattle."
"Moo." And I lifted my right hand... I poured all that was left of my fury into my hand and snarled, "No one touches my little girl."

Damn, I miss the Dresden Files!

"Life is a banquet, and most poor suckers are starving to death!"

Rosalind Russel Auntie Mame

My dad used to tell me about the election of 1964 (USA). The Democrats kept yelling that if we voted for Goldwater (Barry Goldwater, the Republican candidate) we'd go to war in Southeast Asia. Dad would say,

"Sure enough, they were right. I voted for Goldwater, and we went to war in Southeast Asia."

Imaginos1892 wrote:My dad used to tell me about the election of 1964 (USA). The Democrats kept yelling that if we voted for Goldwater (Barry Goldwater, the Republican candidate) we'd go to war in Southeast Asia. Dad would say,

"Sure enough, they were right. I voted for Goldwater, and we went to war in Southeast Asia."

It's nice that we can quote from our parents. We were listening to them after all.

May the force be with you.

Harrison Ford Star Wars

Maybe one of the most quoteable politicians in history was Winston Churchill--here' s a few of his gems.

You have enemies? Good. That means you've stood up for something, sometime in your life.

I may be drunk, Miss, but in the morning I will be sober and you will still be ugly.

A lie gets halfway around the world before the truth has a chance to get its pants on.

You can always count on Americans to do the right thing - after they've tried everything else.

Now this is not the end. It is not even the beginning of the end. But it is, perhaps, the end of the beginning.

We shall defend our island, whatever the cost may be, we shall fight on the beaches, we shall fight on the landing grounds, we shall fight in the fields and in the streets, we shall fight in the hills; we shall never surrender.

I am fond of pigs. Dogs look up to us. Cats look down on us. Pigs treat us as equals.

If you have an important point to make, don't try to be subtle or clever. Use a pile driver. Hit the point once. Then come back and hit it again. Then hit it a third time - a tremendous whack.

I am prepared to meet my Maker. Whether my Maker is prepared for the great ordeal of meeting me is another matter.

Never in the field of human conflict was so much owed by so many to so few.

The farther backward you can look, the farther forward you can see.

If Hitler invaded hell I would make at least a favourable reference to the devil in the House of Commons

Nothing in life is so exhilarating as to be shot at without result.

We occasionally stumble over the truth but most of us pick ourselves up and hurry off as if nothing had happened.

If you go on with this nuclear arms race, all you are going to do is make the rubble bounce.

And that's all--not that I've even begun to exhaust the possibilities, but I don't want to overload the board...

And for a board dedicated to Military Science Fiction, a mention of the Seventy Maxims of Maximally Effective Mercenaries (from the we cartoon Schlock Mercenary) must be included.

I'll post a few below--you can find the remainder (the author hasn't told us all seventy yet) at http://schlockmercenary.wikia.com/wiki/ ... ercenaries

A Sergeant in motion outranks a Lieutenant who doesn't know what's going on

Close air support and friendly fire should be easier to tell apart

The longer everything goes according to plan, the bigger the impending disaster

A soft answer turneth away wrath. Once wrath is looking the other way, shoot it in the head

The enemy of my enemy is my enemy's enemy. No more. No less

There is no 'overkill.' There is only 'open fire' and 'I need to reload

Don't expect the enemy to cooperate in the creation of your dream engagement