If you wanna fall in love untie your shoes and enjoy the trip.
Please don't tell my sister about this.
"You are always playing matchmaker!," says me sister.
"Well it's obvious that Cupid's on vacation sis."
You are on the schedule to work next shift.
Draw Back Your Bow & Let Your Arrow Flow.
Thomas Theisman ----> Shannon Foraker.
Cupid Creed:
First comes love then comes marriage then comes baby in a baby carriage.
Cupid Manual:
• Do not remove safety caps from arrows until last moment of intended use.
• In case of accidental piercing of skin, antidote must be administered within three seconds. Drink contents of vial around neck and chant...
Witch's Incantation
Fillet of a fenny snake,
In the cauldron boil and bake;
Eye of newt, and toe of frog,
Wool of bat, and tongue of dog,
Adder’s fork, and blind-worm’s sting,
Lizard’s leg, and howlet’s wing,
For a charm of powerful trouble,
Like a hell-broth boil and bubble.
Strategy:
Hold fire until couples can see the white of their eyes. Ensure reservoir at arrow's tip is filled with juice. Handle lightly to avoid triggering mechanism. Always shoot female first with enough force to penetrate. Females often prove to be fickle.
Tactics:
Stand down wind to avoid stink of unsavory unions.
In cases of unlikely crossed paths, use crossbow.
Caveats:
• Remember to leave key to chastity belt.
• Avoid use of skeleton keys.
• Skeleton keys result in divorce.
• Beware of train when crossing lovers from different sides of track.
• Never fall in love with charges.
• Wingmen, avoid jet wash.
Pamphlet:
'Hysteria' and the Long, Strange History of the Vibrator
In the late 19th century, Victorian-era women who experienced everything from the loss of sexual appetite to neurasthenia—fatigue, anxiety, mild depression—were diagnosed with “female hysteria,” and often prescribed a manual “pelvic massage” meant to cause “hysterical paroxysm” in the patient (translation: orgasm) to cure said maladies...tells the story of the vibrator’s invention.
The funny thing is that the vibrator was kind of invented for a guy as a laborsaving device.”
The usage of “pelvic massage” to combat “female hysteria,” a diagnosis largely debunked in the early 20th century and no longer recognized today, dates all the way back to Hippocrates in 450 B.C., according to Dr. Rachel Maines, a famed sex historian and author of the seminal 1999 book The Technology of Orgasm. It persisted through the Middle Ages but really seemed to explode during the last quarter of the 19th century, when doctors believed there was an epidemic of hysteria. Dr. Russell Trall, a hydrotherapist in the United States, believed that up to 75 percent of women suffered from “female hysteria,” despite having no way of measuring this statistic.
While “hydriatic massage,” achieving paroxysm through spraying water, was used as early as the mid-1700s in U.S. and U.K. bathhouses, manual “pelvic massage” became an enormously popular medical procedure to combat female hysteria during the Victorian era.
And achieving “hysterical paroxysm” in female patients was a very time-consuming task, with doctors of the era claiming it was incredibly difficult to learn and would take up to an hour manually.
While the electromechanical vibrator was invented by Dr. Joseph Mortimer Granville in sometime in the late 1800s, a steam-powered vibrator, called “The Manipulator,” was invented in 1869 by American physician George Taylor. According to Dr. Maines, the patient-interface component was about the size of a dining room table, and had a cutout area for a vibrating sphere. And the steam engine that powered the reciprocating motion of the sphere was located in a separate room from the patient.
“Doctors didn’t like it because you couldn’t move it and take it with you on a house call, and they also didn’t enjoy shoveling coal into it,” says Dr. Maines, with a laugh.
Dr. Granville’s electromechanical vibrator was portable but had a wet cell battery that weighed about 40 pounds, in addition to the vibrator itself and the Vibratodes. Still, these early vibrators reduced the time it took to achieve “paroxysm” in female patients from an hour to around five minutes.
Battery-powered vibrators were introduced as a household appliance as early as 1899, according to Dr. Maines, but doctors were still trying to convince patients it was worth $2-$3 a visit to be treated by gigantic “pelvic massage” machines, including The Chattanooga, a massage contraption on wheels that stood about 5 feet tall.
“After a while, patients realized that if they could order one from Sears for $5, why should the go to the doctor for $2 to $3 a visit?” she says.
The vibrator was enormously popular, and became the fifth electrical appliance to be introduced into the home, alongside the teakettle, sewing machine, fan, and toaster, and ads for the device ran in everything from Needlecraft and Sears, Roebuck and Co.
Men: Do not confuse PMS with Hysteria. PMS is the result of Red Dollar Days. Hysteria is the result of failing to observe Red Dollar Days. Hysteria is real, famous women sing about it...
http://youtu.be/kxMzhhYPD8A
HAPPY HUNTING
Footnotes:
-Hysteria lesson taken from website.
http://www.thedailybeast.com/articles/2 ... tical.html
-Origin of Incantation: the Three Witches in Shakespeare's Macbeth, 1605
Sister Thread: Power Cupid Question Hour
viewtopic.php?f=1&t=6181
*
Optimist?!
