Honorverse Humor or lack thereof.

bunyipbelle wrote:A'hoy there Matey! Shiver me timbers! It's 19th September- it's international talk like a pirate day.In Honor of this special day here are some pirate jokes.

Q- What's a pirate's favourite kind of fish?
A- A goldfish.

Q- How does a pirate clean his ship?
A- He has a Yarrrrrd sale.

Q- How do pirates know that they are pirates?
A- They think therefore they ARRRRRRRRE!!!!

Q- What does a pirate look forward to on his vacation?
A- A liitle ARRRRRRRGGGH & ARRRRRRGGGH!!!

The joy of Treecats at the Family Dinner table:

Secretary of war Thomas Theisman at the dinner table on his return to Novue Paris his new treecat guardian munching celery in his high chair:

Thomas asks his son, "Where were you last night?"

"I was at the library."

The ‘cat puts down the celery, points, and signs, “He lies!”

"OK, I was at a friend's house," the son admits.

"Doing what?" asked Thomas, a parental scowl on his face.

I was watching the video, “Toy Story."

The ‘cat again points at the boy and, signs, “He lies!”

"OK, it was porn!" confesses his son.

Theisman yells "What? When I was your age I didn't know what porn was!"

The ‘cat turns to Tom, points and, signs, “You lie!”

Thomas’s wife laughs at this and, says, "He certainly is your son!"

The ‘cat points at her and, signs, “She lies!”

Theisman says “Good bye lying family,” as he pulls his pulsar shoots his cuckolding wife and the fruit of the cuckold. He begins to turn to kill the 'cat whom he now blames for for the loss of his family.

The treecat guardian springs from his highchair killing his protectee.

Later the Havenite investigator asks why, the 'cat shrugs, and signs, "The People know how to deal with those who are armed and, decide to be our enemies."

David Melsome wrote:
Windows vs. Ford Motor Co.

For all of us who feel only the deepest love and affection for the way computers have enhanced our lives, read on.

At a recent computer expo (COMDEX), Bill Gates reportedly compared the computer industry with the auto industry and stated,
"If Ford had kept up with technology like the computer industry has, we would all be driving $25 cars that got 1,000 miles to the gallon."

In response to Bill's comments, Ford issued a press release stating:

If Ford had developed technology like Microsoft, we would all be driving cars with the following characteristics (and I just love this part):

1. For no reason whatsoever, your car would crash... at least once a day.

2 ...Every time they repainted the lines in the road, you would have to buy a new car.

3. ...Occasionally your car would die on the freeway for no reason. You would have to pull to the side of the road, close all of the windows, shut off the car, re start it, and reopen the windows before you could continue. For some reason you would simply accept this.

4. ...Occasionally, executing a maneuver such as a left turn would cause your car to shut down and refuse to restart, in which case you would have to reinstall the engine.

5. ...Macintosh would make a car that was powered by the sun, was reliable, five times as fast, and twice as easy to drive - but would run on only five percent of the roads.

6. ....The oil, water temperature, and alternator warning lights would all be replaced by a single "This Car Has Performed An Illegal Operation" warning light.

I love the next one!

7. ...The airbag system would ask, "Are you sure?" before deploying.

8. ...Occasionally, for no reason whatsoever, your car would lock you out and refuse to let you in until you simultaneously lifted the door handle, turned the key, and grabbed hold of the radio antenna.

9. ...Every time a new car was introduced car buyers would have to learn how to drive all over again because none of the controls would operate in the same manner as the old car.

10. ...You'd have to press the "Start" button to turn the engine off.

PS - I'd like to add that when all else fails, you could call "customer service" in some foreign country, and be instructed in some foreign language how to fix your car yourself!