Honorverse Humor or lack thereof.

Mange, <tRMN member David Cleric and I wrote a Honorverse filk song to the tune of Dixie:

Grayson Land

Dave Cleric & Space Cat First Mangy Fur

Oh, I wish I was on the planet Grayson,
Technology there is soon forgotten,
Look away, look away, look away Grayson Land.

In Grayson Land where I was born on,
Early on one toxic morn-on,
Look away! Look away! Look away! Grayson Land.

Da Protectortis marry "David M. Weber,"
David was a gay deceaber;
Look away! Look away! Look away! Grayson Land.

But when he put his arm around'er,
He smiled as fierce as a full charged grazer,
Look away! Look away! Look away! Grayson Land.


Dar's Heavy Metal Toxens an Poison Plants,
Makes you Dead or a little deader;
Look away! Look away! Look away! Grayson Land.

Den de-toxify de ground an scratch your grabble,
To planet Grayson I'm bound to trabble.
Look away! Look away! Look away! Grayson Land.>

Chief, "Marse Robert is a rollin in his grave!"

Mange, <>

Poker & Mange

Steadholder Travis Mueller, Steadholder Samuel Mueller and Steadholder Burdette are in a shuttle on the way to Austin City.

Travis Mueller says, "I am going to throw down $100 Austin notes, and let 10 citizens get them and pray for me."

Samuel Mueller, who is richer by far, replies, "I am going to throw out $1,000, and let 100 citizens pray for me."

Steadholder Burdette, who arranged the disagreement smirks.

Provoked by the bravado of both men, and seeing the smirk, the pilot mumbles, "I am going to throw all three of you out, and let 2.25 Billion Grayson's pray for me."

Nice, Fireflair.

Warning non PG Material follows:



Chief, "tRMN Friend David Cleric awaiting results of interview posted the following poem:

If you think you are beaten, you are;
If you think you dare not, you don't.
If you'd like to win, but think you can't
It's almost a cinch you won't.

If you think you'll lose, you've lost.
For out in the world we find
Success begins with a fellow's will:
It's all in his state of mind.

If you think you're outclassed, you are:
You've got to think high to rise,
You've got to be sure of yourself before
You'll ever win that prize.

Life's battles don't always go
To the stronger or faster man,
But sooner or later the man who wins
Is the one who thinks he can.

To which I replied When the world gives you the finger use this 'cat sign:



"

Mange, <Dr. Arnif did not teach us that one but you Navy types did >

"More 'cat sign here, the PG variety http://pokermind.deviantart.com/art/Native-treecat-finger-spelling-alphabet-392542068"

<Better.>



Poker & Mange

A Chief Harkness and Captain Pavell Young were sitting in the barbershop.

They were both just getting finished with their shaves, when the barbers reached for some after-shave to slap on their faces.

Captain Young shouted, "Hey, don't put that stuff on me! My wife will think I've been in a whorehouse!"

The chief turned to his barber and said, "Go ahead and put it on. My wife doesn't know what the inside of a whorehouse smells like."

A Frontier Fleet battlecruiser captain was on patrol near the Silesian Confederacy when his ship was engaged by pirates. Before beginning the action, he turned to his steward and said, "Bring me my red tunic." Upon receiving this article of apparel, he donned it and then began the action.

A month later, near Andermani space, he engaged an Andy cruiser. Again, before the battle, he requested and donned his red tunic.

After the battle, his exec asked, "Captain, why do you don a red tunic before battle?"

"For morale," explained the Captain. "If I am wounded, any blood will not show against the red. Therefore, the crew will not know that I am wounded, and will not be disheartened."

Two weeks later, the ship encountered an RMN destroyer. The Captain turned to his steward and said, "Bring me my brown pants!"

Tail Kinker wrote:A Frontier Fleet battlecruiser captain was on patrol near the Silesian Confederacy when his ship was engaged by pirates. Before beginning the action, he turned to his steward and said, "Bring me my red tunic." Upon receiving this article of apparel, he donned it and then began the action.

A month later, near Andermani space, he engaged an Andy cruiser. Again, before the battle, he requested and donned his red tunic.

After the battle, his exec asked, "Captain, why do you don a red tunic before battle?"

"For morale," explained the Captain. "If I am wounded, any blood will not show against the red. Therefore, the crew will not know that I am wounded, and will not be disheartened."

Two weeks later, the ship encountered an RMN destroyer. The Captain turned to his steward and said, "Bring me my brown pants!"

Nice adaptation.

Fireflair wrote:

Tail Kinker wrote:A Frontier Fleet battlecruiser captain was on patrol near the Silesian Confederacy when his ship was engaged by pirates. Before beginning the action, he turned to his steward and said, "Bring me my red tunic." Upon receiving this article of apparel, he donned it and then began the action.

A month later, near Andermani space, he engaged an Andy cruiser. Again, before the battle, he requested and donned his red tunic.

After the battle, his exec asked, "Captain, why do you don a red tunic before battle?"

"For morale," explained the Captain. "If I am wounded, any blood will not show against the red. Therefore, the crew will not know that I am wounded, and will not be disheartened."

Two weeks later, the ship encountered an RMN destroyer. The Captain turned to his steward and said, "Bring me my brown pants!"

Nice adaptation.

Reposted on the tRMN Silly-esian Confederacy, https://www.facebook.com/groups/309612499105500/ and, a kind soul posted the original poem:

Katie Berger Tremaine wrote:

The Pyrates Royal, "The Ballad of Old Redcoat"

Bring me old red doublet,
Bring it to me now,
I'll wear it in the riggin'
When they fire across the bow,
Bring me old red doublet,
It's all the help I need!
For even if they shoot me down,
You'll never see me bleed!

Bring me old brown trousers,
Bring them to me now,
I'll wear them in the riggin'
when they fire across the bow!
Bring me old brown trousers,
I fear we may be hit!
But even if they sink us, boy,
They'll never see me sh--Heave ho!

Five likes, twenty-one views and, two comments so far. You did good Tail Kinker, the old Chief salutes you.



Poker & Mange

Warning non PG Material follows:



Chief, "tRMN Friend Suzie Buck posted in The Silly-esian Confederacy the following:

Suzie Buck wrote:


Fire truck

A fireman is at the station house working outside on the fire truck when he notices a little girl next door. The little girl is in a little red wagon with little ladders hung off the side.

She is wearing a fireman’s hat and has the wagon tied to a dog. The fireman says “Hey little girl. What are you doing?” The little girl says “I’m pretending to be a fireman and this is my fire truck!”

The fireman walks over to take a closer look. “Little girl that sure is a nice fire truck!” the fireman says. “Thanks mister”, says the little girl. The fireman looks a little closer and notices the little girl has tied the dog to the wagon by it’s testicles.

“Little girl”, says the fireman, “I don’t want to tell you how to run your fire truck, but if you were to tie that rope around the dog’s neck I think you could go faster.”

The little girl says, “You’re probably right mister, but then I wouldn’t have a siren!”

What do you think Mange?"

Mange, <Ouch! That joke is not Honorverse and risque. Are you trying to get hit with the Duckk's ban hammer, Chief?>

"Well I did warn that there was non PG material and, I could say the fire station was on old Terra."

<Better.>



Poker & Mange

It is said that after the Exodus, Austin Grayson threw himself into the hard physical labour that was necessary to build the new paradise. As a result, hands built up a thick layer of dead skin from manual labour. At the same time, Grayson's toxic environment took a terrible toll on his health, and he became ever weaker.

He never gave up prayer and meditation, however, no matter how bad things became. Even when the toxic local food caused his teeth to become rotten and infected, he kept it up, despite the terrible bad breath that came with it.

In other words, he was a super-callused-fragile-mystic-hexed-by-halitosis.

Knock knock.

Who's there?

Manticore.

Manticore who?

Man,ti' core these apples is really hard work...


Knock knock.

Who's there?

Haven.

Haven who?

Haven't you heard, the war's over!


Knock knock.

Who's there?

Mesa.

Mesa who?

Mesa getting really sick of these terrible puns.