Happy(?) National Hangover Day

Or Happy New Year if you're not celebrating with a hangover. :p

Weird Harold wrote:Or Happy New Year if you're not celebrating with a hangover. :p

What? Nobody here admits to having a hangover -- or like me celebrating that they still mean "never again."

Not for quite a few years now. Took me many declarations of "Never again", to actually mean it.
A couple of tips for the unwary - alternate with a glass of water, slows your alcoholic drinking down and stops the dehydration which is a big part of the morning after. Another big part is that tasty alcoholic beverages have components that also make life hard like fusil oils. Thus keep your intake of dark drinks like brandy, whiskey and red wine to lighter sessions where you can savour the tastes. Drink beer, white wine or clear spirits in quantity if you must.

I've been told by a couple of people who should know that the true end of binge drinking is not 'Never again!' but 'Why?". Why the hell do I do this?

Water always helps. It's never too late to drown the drinks with water.

I had two beers for New Year's and that was enough.

Remember — if you drink a lot of beer, you drink a lot.

Imaginos1892 wrote:I've been told by a couple of people who should know that the true end of binge drinking is not 'Never again!' but 'Why?". Why the hell do I do this?

The difference between a Reformed Lush and a Recovering Alcoholic is the meetings.

I'm a Reformed Lush and the words don't matter, the intent and actions do. I disagree with those "people who should know," but whatever works is what works. Some people need the meetings and support groups, others don't.

Can anyone tell me what a hangover really is? Nope.

hang·o·ver
[ˈhaNGˌōvər]

Bing wrote...

NOUN
a severe headache or other after effects caused by drinking an excess of alcohol.
a thing that has survived from the past:
"a hangover from the sixties"

Merriam Webster wrote:

hang·o·ver
[ˈhaNGˌōvər]

NOUN
a severe headache or other after effects caused by drinking an excess of alcohol.
a thing that has survived from the past:
"a hangover from the sixties"

No. No. No.

I don't drink. I'm really the casual drinker. Therefore, I'm in touch with reality.

LISTEN UP!

A phucking hangover is what you find yourself doing while feeling miserable, long before you wake up feeling miserable. A hangover is all about the position—the position you find yourself in when you're calling on your one friend in the whole wide-world at that moment, Ralph, because you always seem to lose your phone in the commode. Look at yourself, you're calling to somebody while you're hanging over a dirty, despicable commode, only he can't hear you because you've got your head hanging over in everybody's ass!. You've got to, you need something to hold on to. The whole world is still spinning and you're too drunk to spin with it anymore. And you are about to loose EVERYTHING! That's left! The oodles of noodles look like poodles, the raisin brand look like bugs and your stomach is angry at you. And it's making that fact known with projectile vomiting, the incessant lurching and gnashing of skeet after skeet. BUT! You're holding on, err hanging on err hanging over, the commode, or the bed. Calling your best friend who never phucking comes.

He has to be your best friend, if you're expecting him to come in some nasty bathroom and pry you away from the despicable communal commode. He comes all the way there just to find out, god forbid he really touches you. Because you wanna just be left ALONE! All while your pants are barely hanging over your knees!

And why is it that people want to ask you "Are you alright?"

"Does it phucking look— 'puke puke puke puke puuuuuuuuuuuuuuke...'"

That's what would happen if you bothered to try to answer. But you don't. Because you're hanging over the despicable communal commode and you just want to stay there. Well, you don't really want to stay, but you know you better not dare fu— puke puke. Your stomach is trying to set a record for the number of times it can contract in 60 seconds. If the guy from Guinness would have been present on some or even one of the times I was invited to one of Ralph's parties, I'd have "The most number of stomach contractions while commode hanging World Record!" Then, I'd go on to win the "Dry heaves" World Record! That's when you are still trying to puke but everything has long been gone! Yet your stomach is still pissed off!

THAT'S A Phucking HANGOVER! Don't let anybody tell you different.

Anything else is a piece of phucking cake with some aspirins, comparatively.

And the fact that the dictionaries, EVERY PLUCKING ONE OF THEM lies about it, should be grounds for a phucking lawsuit! Stop letting people who've become desensitized to alcohol and the truth be responsible for that particular definition. Let a non-drinker be responsible for that one definition. We're the only ones who really know.

BTW, there are all different kinds of mixed drinks. What's in a hangover...

Hangover

Ingredients: Shit, urine, possible spent condoms, disease, puke - which consists of digested and undigested food, pubic hair, grime, dirt and everything else imaginable in a public restroom, stumbled, shaken and stirred.

You can have it on the rocks in the winter time. It's seasonal.

I learned all of this while in college. Didn't need to take that class again.

.

Another term is "A technicolour yawn".

Daryl wrote:Another term is "A technicolour yawn".

That usually comes before the hangover starts.

Another "term" for that stage of a bender:

Worshiping the Porcelain God Ralph.

or

Talking to Ralph about a Buick.

Been there done that, the T-Shirt was beyond saving.