Non-Honorverse one-liners

Tenshinai wrote:

MaxxQ wrote:"Did IQ's just drop sharply while I was away?"
Ripley - Aliens

Hudson - "Hey Vasquez... have you ever been mistaken for a man?"

Vasquez - "No. Have you?"
Hudson and Vasquez - Aliens

"Get away from her, you BITCH!!!"
Ripley - Aliens

"Game over, man! Game over!"
Hudson - Aliens

"They mostly come out at night. Mostly"
Newt - Aliens

"Not bad, for a human."
Bishop - Aliens

"I say we nuke the site from orbit. It's the only way to be sure."
Ripley and Hicks - Aliens

"I like to be ready for close encounters."
Hicks - Aliens

"Let's ROCK!!!"
Vasquez - Aliens

"Guess she don't like the cornbread either."
Frost - Aliens

"Aye-firmative.
Newt - Aliens

"Hudson, sir. He's Hicks."
Hudson to Gorman - Aliens

"Great! Why don't we put *her* in charge?"
Hudson - Aliens

"And you, you little shit. You're staying here."
Ripley to Jones (the cat) - Aliens

Pretty much the entire movie is nothing but great one-liners.

"Express elevator to hell, going DOWN!" (Hudson?)

Yep... that was Hudson.

MaxxQ wrote:I'm not the world's most masculine man
But I know what I am, and I'm glad I'm a man
And so is Lola

The Kinks - Lola

Absolutely wonderful use of the english language.

Do one-liners that have become internet memes count?

"One does not simply walk into Mordor."
Boromir - LotR-TFotR

Why not? A one-liner is a one-liner is a one-liner.
And these, though I'm not personally intimate with them, yet, are enticing!

You forumites help make life...hillarious.

cthia wrote:

MaxxQ wrote:I'm not the world's most masculine man
But I know what I am, and I'm glad I'm a man
And so is Lola

The Kinks - Lola

Absolutely wonderful use of the english language.

Do one-liners that have become internet memes count?

"One does not simply walk into Mordor."
Boromir - LotR-TFotR

Why not? A one-liner is a one-liner is a one-liner.
And these, though I'm not personally intimate with them, yet, are enticing!

You forumites help make life...hillarious.

Lola (relevant line starts at 2:58, but I recommend listening to the entire song): http://youtu.be/Ixqbc7X2NQY

And the scene from the movie for the LotR meme: http://youtu.be/r21CMDyPuGo

Followed by a Google image search for "One Does Not Simply...": https://www.google.com/search?hl=en&sit ... n-FDGQUWO8

MaxxQ wrote:
Lola (relevant line starts at 2:58, but I recommend listening to the entire song): http://youtu.be/Ixqbc7X2NQY

And the scene from the movie for the LotR meme: http://youtu.be/r21CMDyPuGo

Followed by a Google image search for "One Does Not Simply...": https://www.google.com/search?hl=en&sit ... n-FDGQUWO8

I know that song, Lola.
I'm going to be singing it for days. Thanks!
I never knew what they were saying.

From Narnia 2 - Prince Caspian:

Lucy just gave soldier-of-fortune mouse Reepicheep some healing potion. He gets up, and discovers that his tail got cut off.

Reepicheep: "Perhaps...a drop more?"
Lucy: "I don't think it really does that."
Reepicheep: "You could give it a go!"

Enchanted:

Nathaniel: "Sire? Do you....like yourself?"
Prince Edward: "What's not to like?"

Doctor Who:

9th Doctor: "What's your name?"
Rose: "Rose Tyler."
Doctor: "Nice to meet you, Rose. Run for your life!"

11th Doctor: "Amy! You swallowed a planet!"
Amy: "I'm PREGNANT, Doctor."

Transformers 2:

A twin robot: "That hurt!"
Other twin: "It's an ass-kickin', It's supposed to hurt!"

Buffy:

(Waiting for the eclipse, when the Mayor will transform into a demon and eat everybody alive) "He's going to make us listen to the whole speech? Oooooooh, evil."

More Babylon 5:

Lyta Alexander: "Captain? They're pissed."

Londo Mollari: "Is there anyone along our borders with whom we are not currently at war? Only an idiot fights a war on two fronts. Only the heir to the throne of the Kingdom of Idiots would fight a war on TWELVE fronts."

Vir Cotto: "What do I want? What do *I* want?
I'd like to live just long enough to be there when they cut off your head and stick it on a pike as a warning to the next ten generations that some favors come at too high a price. I would gaze up into your lifeless eyes and wave, like this. (holds up right hand and wiggles fingers at Morden) Can your associates arrange that for me, Mr. Morden?"

[The irony is that of all the people Morden asked "What do you want?", only Vir got exactly what he asked for. And he did wave, like this.]

Seriously, we could fill this whole thread with Babylon 5 quotes and start another one.

Spaced Invaders:

Commander: "Congratulations on our glorious victory! It...WAS a glorious victory, wasn't it?"
Pilot: "No, but if we think fast we might live to lie about it."

Gremlins 2:

Genius Gremlin: (Pulls out a large revolver and shoots the Doofus Gremlin) "Now I ask you, was that civilized? No, clearly not. Fun, yes; but hardly civilized!"

Holmes On Homes:

The plans were drawn up by a moron, and then they didn't follow them!
--------------------
I could be arguing in my spare time.

Some internet quotes:

"The above is clearly nonsense and represents the views of someone completely insane."

"MICROSOFT - [M]ost [I]ntelligent [C]ustomers [R]ealize [O]ur [S]oftware [O]nly [F]ools [T]eenagers"

"I almost had a psychic girlfriend but she left me before we met."

"Fifth Crucis Lancers RCT: 'Mechs by Kallon, tactics by Sesame Street"

<""Do not meddle in the affairs of wizards, for they are subtle and quick to anger."
and my favorite variation of it:
"Do not meddle in the affairs of dragons, for you are crunchy and taste good with ketchup."">

"I am Alive! Which is definitely an improvement over this morning."

"I worship the ground you walk on, for it awaits your corpse..."

"I like my demons. I consider them close personal friends. We enjoy each other's company immensely." ~CHANCE (movie)

"Don't get mad, don't get even,........get odd."

"The meek shall inherit the earth (as long as that's alright with everyone else)."

"C:\WINDOWS\
C:\WINDOWS\RUN
C:\PC\CRAWL"

“Like other occult techniques of divination, the statistical method has a private jargon deliberately contrived to obscure its methods from nonpractitioners."

"Did you know that if you play a Windows ME CD backwards, you will hear a satanic message? That's nothing! If you play it forward, it'll install Windows ME."

"Truth is a shattered mirror, don't get cut on its shards."

"It's really too bad more little girls don't get into this game, because House Marik really could have used the support."

"BE ORIGINAL...IF YOU CAN'T THEN STEAL ONLY FROM THE BEST"

"I'm an apathetic sociopath- I'd kill you if I cared."

"I´m not dumb, i´m just unlucky when i think."

"Knowledge is the key to many doors… explosives are the key to all of them."

"Beware of Geeks sharing GIFs"

"Life is uncertain, eat dessert first."

""Eeep! It's an UrbanMech! Walk for your lives!""

"I have gone to find myself. If I get back before I return, keep me here."

"I'm not antisocial, society is anti me."

"Gravity does'nt exist - the earth sucks."

"This is no Madhouse. The house is sane, it told me so itself."

"I'm not your type, I'm not inflatable!"

"Looking for a soul to purchase. Top dollar."

"All artists are prepared to suffer for their art, but why are so few prepared to learn to draw?."

"I might lose, but the bill to repair your ships will suck."

"Those are my principles, and if you don't like them... well, I have others."
Groucho Marx


And a movie again:

"Evil will always triumph, because good is dumb." -Lord Dark Helmet


I keep quotes and macro files...

And for a truly immortal one-liner, we go to National Lampoon's Christmas Vacation and Randy Quaid:

"Merry Christmas! Shitter's full."
---------------
It takes two to make peace. It only takes one to make war.

A few from some of my favourite shows and people:

The bible may say thou shalt not kill, but it was a little vague on kneecapping. Firefly

I'm not a psychopath, Anderson. I'm a high-functioning sociopath. Do your research. Sherlock, with Benedict Cumberbatch.


That's all it takes. One lonely naive man, desperate to show off. And a woman clever enough to make him feel special.
Sherlock again.

Count Piotr's hand slapped down hard upon the table. "Good God, woman, where have you been?" he cried furiously.

A morbid lunacy overtook her. She smiled fiercely at him, and held up the bag. "Shopping."
Barrayar - Louis Mcmaster Bujold.

The universe is very big... sometimes, very rarely, impossible things just happen, and we call them miracles.
Matt Smith as Dr Who.

People assume that time is a static progression... it's more like a big ball of wibbly-wobbly, timey-wimey stuff.
David Tennant. Dr Who

Once you can accept the universe as matter expanding into nothing that is something, wearing stripes with plaid comes easy.
Albert Einstein.

Somewhere, something incredible is waiting to be known.
Carl Sagan

The good thing about science is that it's true whether or not you believe in it
Nei Degrasse Tyson.

You know, it is a terrible thing to appear on television, because people think that you actually know what you're talking about.
David Attenborrough.


Enjoy.

Then he turned twenty-six

-Neil DeGrasse Tyson

Which may not mean much to many, unless you see it in context. I got introduced to it yesterday while exploring where an Internet meme featuring Tyson came from.

Here's the entire quote:

Isaac Newton. You read his writings. Hair stands up -- I don’t have hair there but if I did it would stand up -- on the back of my neck. The man was connected to the universe in ways that I’ve never seen another human being connected. It’s kind of spooky, actually.

He discovers the laws of optics. He figures out that white light is composed of colors. That’s kind of freaky right there. You take your colors of the rainbow and put them back together, you get white light again. That freaked out the artists of the day. How does that work? Red, orange, yellow, green, blue, violet gives you white!

The laws of optics. He discovers the laws of motion and the universal law of gravitation.

Then a friend of his says, “Why are these orbits of the planets in the shape of an ellipse (a sort of flattened circle)? Why aren’t they some other shape?”

And Newton says, “I don’t know. I’ll get back to you.”

So he goes home and comes back a couple months later. “Here’s why. They’re actually conic sections, sections of a cone that you cut.”

So they say “How did you find this out?”

“Well, I had to invent integral and differential calculus to determine this.”

Then he turned twenty-six.[Tyson raises his hands and mimes being speechless.]

Then he turned twenty-six.

We got people slogging through calculus in college just to learn what it is that Isaac Newton invented on a dare, practically. So that’s my man, Isaac Newton.

PS, you can see that live at http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=danYFxGnFxQ

PPS--The internet meme (which I imagine everyone else knew already) is "We've got a badass over here." See any meme site.

I've attended a number of SF conventions over the years, and tend to collect buttons that are currently plastered over the outside of my cubicle. A few one-liners there I might share:

On a good day I can do the work of three men-Larry, Moe and Curly

Out of my mind...back in ten minutes

I killed Schrodinger's Cat

I operate at a 90 degree angle to reality

Quote has to be on Shannon Foraker's desk somewhere....

He who lives by the sword; dies by the crossbow bolt

And this is the one on Sonya Hemphill's desk

I didn't claw my way to the top of the food chain to eat vegetables

The two most common things in the universe are hydrogen and stupidity

Age is a very high price to pay for maturity

Can't wait for prolong

The problem with troubleshooting is that trouble shoots back

Good quote for Anton and Victor

There is always one more imbecile than you counted on

People are more violently opposed to fur than leather because it is easier to harass rich old women than motorcycle gangs