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Honorverse Humor or lack thereof.

Join us in talking discussing all things Honor, including (but not limited to) tactics, favorite characters, and book discussions.
Re: Honorverse Humor or lack thereof.
Post by pokermind   » Thu Sep 19, 2013 8:49 am

pokermind
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Posts: 4002
Joined: Tue Oct 25, 2011 8:58 am
Location: Jerome, Idaho, USA

bunyipbelle wrote:A'hoy there Matey! Shiver me timbers! It's 19th September- it's international talk like a pirate day.In Honor of this special day here are some pirate jokes.

Q- What's a pirate's favourite kind of fish?
A- A goldfish.

Q- How does a pirate clean his ship?
A- He has a Yarrrrrd sale.

Q- How do pirates know that they are pirates?
A- They think therefore they ARRRRRRRRE!!!!

Q- What does a pirate look forward to on his vacation?
A- A liitle ARRRRRRRGGGH & ARRRRRRGGGH!!!


Chief. "Hmm, needs a little mood music:"

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=SqSQMF6Ats0&list=PL44405A4F91C13D8E

"What do you think Mange?"

Image

Poker & Mange

PS Talk like a Pirate Day Filk Song, gives a new meaning to walking the plank, Arrrr:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=61sdvxPRAT0

;)
CPO Poker Mind Image and, Mangy Fur the Smart Alick Spacecat.

"Better to be hung for a hexapuma than a housecat," Com. Pang Yau-pau, ART.
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Re: Honorverse Humor or lack thereof.
Post by pokermind   » Fri Sep 20, 2013 12:27 pm

pokermind
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Posts: 4002
Joined: Tue Oct 25, 2011 8:58 am
Location: Jerome, Idaho, USA

Chief:

The joy of Treecats at the Family Dinner table:

Secretary of war Thomas Theisman at the dinner table on his return to Novue Paris his new treecat guardian munching celery in his high chair:

Thomas asks his son, "Where were you last night?"

"I was at the library."

The ‘cat puts down the celery, points, and signs, “He lies!”

"OK, I was at a friend's house," the son admits.

"Doing what?" asked Thomas, a parental scowl on his face.

I was watching the video, “Toy Story."

The ‘cat again points at the boy and, signs, “He lies!”

"OK, it was porn!" confesses his son.

Theisman yells "What? When I was your age I didn't know what porn was!"

The ‘cat turns to Tom, points and, signs, “You lie!”

Thomas’s wife laughs at this and, says, "He certainly is your son!"

The ‘cat points at her and, signs, “She lies!”

Theisman says “Good bye lying family,” as he pulls his pulsar shoots his cuckolding wife and the fruit of the cuckold. He begins to turn to kill the 'cat whom he now blames for for the loss of his family.

The treecat guardian springs from his highchair killing his protectee.

Later the Havenite investigator asks why, the 'cat shrugs, and signs, "The People know how to deal with those who are armed and, decide to be our enemies."


Mange, "I can see RFC saying Oops as he writes such a scene.>

"How come you never tattle on me?"

<As kittens we learn not to share such information at the dinner table ;)>

Poker & Mange

PS. Image
CPO Poker Mind Image and, Mangy Fur the Smart Alick Spacecat.

"Better to be hung for a hexapuma than a housecat," Com. Pang Yau-pau, ART.
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Re: Honorverse Humor or lack thereof.
Post by pokermind   » Wed Sep 25, 2013 11:31 am

pokermind
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Posts: 4002
Joined: Tue Oct 25, 2011 8:58 am
Location: Jerome, Idaho, USA

Chief, "Although not strictly Honorverse this one is too good not to pass on:

David Melsome wrote:
Windows vs. Ford Motor Co.

For all of us who feel only the deepest love and affection for the way computers have enhanced our lives, read on.

At a recent computer expo (COMDEX), Bill Gates reportedly compared the computer industry with the auto industry and stated,
"If Ford had kept up with technology like the computer industry has, we would all be driving $25 cars that got 1,000 miles to the gallon."

In response to Bill's comments, Ford issued a press release stating:

If Ford had developed technology like Microsoft, we would all be driving cars with the following characteristics (and I just love this part):

1. For no reason whatsoever, your car would crash... at least once a day.

2 ...Every time they repainted the lines in the road, you would have to buy a new car.

3. ...Occasionally your car would die on the freeway for no reason. You would have to pull to the side of the road, close all of the windows, shut off the car, re start it, and reopen the windows before you could continue. For some reason you would simply accept this.

4. ...Occasionally, executing a maneuver such as a left turn would cause your car to shut down and refuse to restart, in which case you would have to reinstall the engine.

5. ...Macintosh would make a car that was powered by the sun, was reliable, five times as fast, and twice as easy to drive - but would run on only five percent of the roads.

6. ....The oil, water temperature, and alternator warning lights would all be replaced by a single "This Car Has Performed An Illegal Operation" warning light.

I love the next one!

7. ...The airbag system would ask, "Are you sure?" before deploying.

8. ...Occasionally, for no reason whatsoever, your car would lock you out and refuse to let you in until you simultaneously lifted the door handle, turned the key, and grabbed hold of the radio antenna.

9. ...Every time a new car was introduced car buyers would have to learn how to drive all over again because none of the controls would operate in the same manner as the old car.

10. ...You'd have to press the "Start" button to turn the engine off.

PS - I'd like to add that when all else fails, you could call "customer service" in some foreign country, and be instructed in some foreign language how to fix your car yourself!


Mange. <Yah, a 'bit' funny.>

Poker & Mange
CPO Poker Mind Image and, Mangy Fur the Smart Alick Spacecat.

"Better to be hung for a hexapuma than a housecat," Com. Pang Yau-pau, ART.
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Re: Honorverse Humor or lack thereof.
Post by pokermind   » Sat Sep 28, 2013 2:14 pm

pokermind
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Posts: 4002
Joined: Tue Oct 25, 2011 8:58 am
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Chief, "Well here's a Honorverse get well card feel free to copy and use, perhaps personalize with sick friend's name (MS Times New Roman Word 28 pt Bold) or even change Mange's message."

Image

Mange, <What! I don't get a royalty!>

"Neither does David Weber :P "

Poker & Mange.
CPO Poker Mind Image and, Mangy Fur the Smart Alick Spacecat.

"Better to be hung for a hexapuma than a housecat," Com. Pang Yau-pau, ART.
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Re: Honorverse Humor or lack thereof.
Post by pokermind   » Wed Oct 02, 2013 12:05 pm

pokermind
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Posts: 4002
Joined: Tue Oct 25, 2011 8:58 am
Location: Jerome, Idaho, USA

AdmiralStarNight's (see page 23 for some of her jokes) eighteenth birthday today we wrote her a song:

Image

But we have a new critic aboard HMSS Greenwich:

Image

Poker, Mange, and Tarder Sauce
CPO Poker Mind Image and, Mangy Fur the Smart Alick Spacecat.

"Better to be hung for a hexapuma than a housecat," Com. Pang Yau-pau, ART.
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Re: Honorverse Humor or lack thereof.
Post by bunyipbelle   » Wed Oct 09, 2013 2:41 am

bunyipbelle
Lieutenant Commander

Posts: 146
Joined: Wed Jun 12, 2013 2:53 am

But we have a new critic aboard HMSS Greenwich:

Image

Poker, Mange, and Tarder Sauce[/quote]



your new critc aboard HMSS Greenwich looks a bit grumpy
Is there a cellery shortage?
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Re: Honorverse Humor or lack thereof.
Post by Lord Skimper   » Wed Oct 09, 2013 3:27 am

Lord Skimper
Vice Admiral

Posts: 1736
Joined: Wed Aug 07, 2013 12:49 am
Location: Calgary, Nova, Gryphon.

Watch yes minister or yes prime minister.

Sir Humphrey Applebee is one of and later the number one Mandarin.

It is funny how similar the whole notion is.

I see so much humour here yet it never seems to be expressed.
________________________________________
Just don't ask what is in the protein bars.
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Re: Honorverse Humor or lack thereof.
Post by bunyipbelle   » Wed Oct 09, 2013 8:28 pm

bunyipbelle
Lieutenant Commander

Posts: 146
Joined: Wed Jun 12, 2013 2:53 am

Yes Minister & Yes Prime Minister are two of my favourite
TV shows. I have met a lot of aspiring Sir Humphrey Applebys. I think that most governments have their equivalent of Sir Humphrey Appleby.So we should not be surprised to find him in the honorverse.Some of the Solarian public servants I think are definately aspiring to be a "moral vacuum".
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Re: Honorverse Humor or lack thereof.
Post by pokermind   » Fri Oct 11, 2013 9:57 pm

pokermind
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Posts: 4002
Joined: Tue Oct 25, 2011 8:58 am
Location: Jerome, Idaho, USA

Chief a semi-religious joke posted on tRMN Sillyesin Confederacy:

A burglar broke into a house one night. He shined his flashlight around, looking for valuables when a voice in the dark said, 'Jesus knows you're here.' He nearly jumped out of his skin, clicked his flashlight off, and froze. When he heard nothing more, he shook his head and continued. Just as he pulled the stereo out so he could disconnect the wires, clear as a bell he heard 'Jesus is watching you.'

Startled, he shined his light around frantically, looking for the source of the voice. Finally, in the corner of the room, his flashlight beam came to rest on a parrot. 'Did you say that?' he hissed at the parrot.

'Yes', the parrot confessed, then squawked, 'I'm just trying to warn you that he's watching you.' The burglar relaxed.

'Warn me, huh? Who in the world are you?'

'Moses,' replied the bird.

'Moses?' the burglar laughed. 'What kind of people would name a bird Moses?'

'The kind of people who would name a Rottweiler Jesus.'

:D Poker
CPO Poker Mind Image and, Mangy Fur the Smart Alick Spacecat.

"Better to be hung for a hexapuma than a housecat," Com. Pang Yau-pau, ART.
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Re: Honorverse Humor or lack thereof.
Post by pokermind   » Wed Oct 16, 2013 10:58 am

pokermind
Fleet Admiral

Posts: 4002
Joined: Tue Oct 25, 2011 8:58 am
Location: Jerome, Idaho, USA

Image

Chief, "Couldn't resist this from Facebook."

Mange, <What's with the chain-mail chastity belt I though Vikings were notorious for rape?>

"Just guarding the family jewels ;) "

Poker & Mange
CPO Poker Mind Image and, Mangy Fur the Smart Alick Spacecat.

"Better to be hung for a hexapuma than a housecat," Com. Pang Yau-pau, ART.
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