yannosh wrote:Dear Ladies and gentlemen, the following program qualifies as truly groanworthy and thus is not recommended for persons under the age of 12 or suffering from delicate constitution in humor.
So, it just happened that Albrecht Detweiler Kicked the bucket, and Azrael, the angel of death came to collect him. Naturally he took dear Albrecht directly to the destination Below. Now, understandably that caused Albrecht some significant amount of distress.
But, as they left the elevator at their destination, he spotted something that cheered him up quite a bit.
"Well now, the eternal torment will be quite more endurable knowing that utter b....rd Cachat had preceded me here." He told Azrael.
"What? No. That's not Victor. That's Lucifer, and he only wishes he was Victor Cachat."
On a related note, we all know that at some point Victor Cachat will pass to the great beyond... When that happens Azrael will collect his soul. Azrael will then have a problem, because Victor has killed quite a few people and doesn't regret that he did so. On the other hand he certainly is not an evil person. Eventually though Azrael will make a decision and deliver Victor to Lucifer.
Lucifer will spend some time examining Victor, not very much really, and will instruct Azrael to take Victor up to Heaven. Azrael will do so, and God will examine Victor and question him about all the deaths. Victor will be honest and say that with few exceptions he regrets none of them. God sighs and tells Victor that he cannot allow him in Heaven, and instructs Azrael to return Victor to Lucifer.
Lucifer, upon hearing that Azrael is bringing Victor back will contact God, and tell him that he will not allow Victor into his realm. When God asks why, Lucifer will tell him that it is because within one day Victor will be running the place, and Lucifer will be stuck somewhere in torment. After further discussion, it will be decided that Azrael will get a much needed vacation, and Victor will take Azrael place as the Angel of Death. Azrael will mumble that he has just been holding the spot for Victor anyway.
This will cause a massive die off of truly wicked people in the Universe, because Victor isn't going to wait for them to die, and both God and Lucifer are afraid to tell him to wait.
After this God will check his data collections and discover that known of the bad stuff that Horace Harkness did is still in the records.