Honorverse Humor or lack thereof.

Adm Crandal having the attitude of a Grizzly Bear with hemorrhoids while trying to pass a pinecone.

Senior Chief wrote:Adm Crandal having the attitude of a Grizzly Bear with hemorrhoids while trying to pass a pinecone.

I admit the humor in it is highly contagious, Senior Chief. And it will continue to be each and every time I read it. Even without the hemorrhoids.

Hard not to imagine the irony in that her crew quite possibly often wished they were dead.

The GA is comprised of Testers, Leopards, High Rollers and Sex Maniacs.

Since the alliance, certain Keys have become increasingly vocal about the company they keep.


****** *


Without daddy to lead them, they are lost. Prompting them to place a clandestine ad in the seediest "classifieds" section in the galaxy. . . The Agent Provacateur.

"Highly maneuverable. Six fully dysfunctional Detweiler sin drones."

Senior Chief wrote:Adm Crandal having the attitude of a Grizzly Bear with hemorrhoids while trying to pass a pinecone.

Thing is, Crandall's reputation preceded her. Everyone in the galaxy knew she suffered from hemorrhoids. So Governor Medusa arranged for her to receive a prompt treatment of Preparation H.

Supposedly suppositories.

Treecat rep addressing the Admiralty.

<Respectfully, we the People wish to do our own vetting. Nimitz lost his f-u-c-k-i-n-g mind due to two-leg vetting>

Terrible-Twos

The rest of humanity knows absolutely nothing about terrible-twos. Psychopathic Malign kids are so dysfunctional at the age of two that their parents forego belts for cattle prods.

'ZZZZAP!' "Sit down you psychopathic bitch!"

"Oh daddy, zap me again. That feels good. But turn up the heat this time, you wussy. I was really bad."

The Munsters are just an average Malign family...

"Tuesday, stop choking Wednesday."

" Sorry Wednesday, I always go ballistic on Mondays."

"It's ok. I really like being deprived of oxygen. It's fun!"

The average Malign family are a cross between the Munsters and the Addams family. Lurches are everywhere. And there are many "Things" -- these sre appendages from the guinea pigs of nanite compulsion. The hands still have a mind of their own.


In Other Galactic News

The Havenites are now wondering whether Ransom somehow came from Malign stock. It is rumored that she was exiled from Darius when she was just two-years old. She was put into an escape pod and tossed out into the Havenite system by her parents to save her from the cull. She landed in the back yard on some Havenite farm. They never found her parents. . . remains. Detweiler was heard saying. "Cull her immediately, that bitch is crazy!"

The Malign stopped culling terrible twos. They were just too dangerous. Besides no one had the guts to attempt it.

"Who me? I'm not going to be the one to attempt to cull her! Look at that bitch's eyes. She is not afraid."

"So you wanna cull me? You just come right on. We'll see who gets culled!"

"Trust me daddy. It's far safer to simply take terrible twos on a joy ride and abandon them in someone else's back yard. Like a dog!"

Harkness culled her in the end.

So now you know the roots of Ransom. She was born that way.


.

The Ransom Anthem

Born This Way
Lady Gaga

It doesn't matter if you love him, or capital H-I-M
Just put your paws up 'cause you were born this way, baby

My mama told me when I was young
We are all born superstars

She rolled my hair and put my lipstick on
In the glass of her boudoir

"There's nothing wrong with loving who you are"
She said, "'Cause he made you perfect, babe"
"So hold your head up girl and you'll go far,
Listen to me when I say"

I'm beautiful in my way
'Cause God makes no mistakes
I'm on the right track, baby I was born this way

Don't hide yourself in regret
Just love yourself and you're set
I'm on the right track, baby
I was born this way (Born this way)

Oh there ain't no other way
Baby I was born this way
Baby I was born this way
Oh there ain't no other way
Baby I was born this way
Right track baby I was born this way

Don't be a drag, just be a queen
Don't be a drag, just be a queen
Don't be a drag, just be a queen
Don't be don't be don't be

Give yourself prudence
And love your friends
So we can rejoice your truth

In the religion of the insecure
I must be myself, respect my youth

A different lover is not a sin
Believe capital H-I-M (hey hey hey)
I love my life I love this record and
Mi amore vole fe, yah

I'm beautiful in my way
'Cause God makes no mistakes
I'm on the right track, baby
I was born this way

Don't hide yourself in regret
Just love yourself and you're set
I'm on the right track, baby
I was born this way

Oh there ain't no other way
Baby I was born this way
Baby I was born this way
Oh there ain't no other way
Baby I was born this way
Right track, baby I was born this way

Don't be a drag, just be a queen
Whether you're broke or evergreen
You're black, white, beige, chola descent
You're Lebanese, you're Orient
Whether life's disabilities
Left you outcast, bullied, or teased
Rejoice and love yourself today
'Cause baby you were born this way

No matter gay, straight, or bi
Lesbian, transgendered life
I'm on the right track baby
I was born to survive
No matter black, white or beige
Chola or orient made
I'm on the right track baby
I was born to be brave

I'm beautiful in my way
'Cause God makes no mistakes
I'm on the right track, baby I was born this way

Don't hide yourself in regret
Just love yourself and you're set
I'm on the right track, baby
I was born this way yeah

Oh there ain't no other way
Baby I was born this way
Baby I was born this way (Born this way)
Oh there ain't no other way
Baby I was born this way
Right track, baby I was born this way

I was born this way hey
I was born this way hey
I'm on the right track baby
I was born this way hey

I was born this way hey
I was born this way hey
I'm on the right track baby
I was born this way hey

Same D.N.A. but born this way
Same D.N.A. but born this way

The Tactical Nature of Patricia Givens

"Sure would be interesting to get concrete distance figures on a Treecat's empathic sense," says AdmiraI Givens. "Is it possible to use 'Cats to send communication between ships in case normal communication is broken? They would certainly be hell in ground assaults running point. No wonder hexapumas don't stand a chance fighting a squadron with walkie talkies."


****** *


The Solarians are the only species capable of thinking without language. Because what they think, there are no words.

All she seemed to care about was sex, so in High School Beowulf was voted less likely to succeed. Guess she proved them all wrong!