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| Re: Honorverse Humor or lack thereof. | |
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by cthia
» Mon Sep 11, 2017 8:19 pm
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cthia
Posts: 14951
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Another very old recording has surfaced and is leaked to the public -- a recording during the reign of King Roger II. He seems to be explaining the facts of life to a naive officer...
"This was the work of those sorry ass Peeps again! All they do is take, take, take! Why do they always have to just take, take, take!" "Because, young man, with the MWJ, we are the haves, and they are the Havenots." . Last edited by cthia on Tue Sep 12, 2017 12:14 pm, edited 2 times in total.
Son, your mother says I have to hang you. Personally I don't think this is a capital offense. But if I don't hang you, she's gonna hang me and frankly, I'm not the one in trouble. —cthia's father. Incident in ? Axiom of Common Sense |
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| Re: Honorverse Humor or lack thereof. | |
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by cthia
» Tue Sep 12, 2017 8:20 am
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cthia
Posts: 14951
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Another day at the Admiralty
"Tell him!" "Are you crazy! I ain't telling him! You tell him!" "No you tell him! You were hired last! I've got seniority!" "I ain't telling him!  ""Tell me what, ladies?" ... ... "SPEAK!" "Sir, Operation 'Dunce Caps' has captured more Solarian warships choke Sir." "WHAT? HELL NO! OH, HELL NO! One of you record this memo to dispatch to all commands." "Ready sir." "TAKE NO PRISONERS! I repeat. TAKE NO PRISONERS!... because... IF ANOTHER SOB COMES IN HERE WITH SOME LAME ASS IDEA ABOUT HOW TO USE ANOTHER CAPTURED SOLLY SD I'M GONNA BEND HIM OVER PULL DOWN HIS LITTLE PINK PANTIES TAKE ME ONE OF THOSE WORTHLESS PIECES OF JUNK AND GREASE HER UP REAL GOOD WITH SOME WD-40 STAND HER UP ON END AND SHOVE IT UP HIS CANDY ASS! AND THIS TIME I'M GONNA TURN IT SIDEWAYS!" "Send it!" Son, your mother says I have to hang you. Personally I don't think this is a capital offense. But if I don't hang you, she's gonna hang me and frankly, I'm not the one in trouble. —cthia's father. Incident in ? Axiom of Common Sense |
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| Re: Honorverse Humor or lack thereof. | |
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by cthia
» Wed Sep 13, 2017 11:46 am
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cthia
Posts: 14951
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Meanwhile, back on Grayson, the Keys are upset again...
"I told you we shouldn't allow treecats to play baseball! Now we can't win a single phucking game against the Harrington Treecats! Just because the team is named after them doesn't mean we had to let them play!" "What the hell is that one doing?" "He's shaking his butt. Confident." "What's he pointing at with the bat?" "The center field wall." "What? That's 610 feet!" < 'Throw it high in the strike zone or low. I'm gonna tear the cover off the ball' > 'WHACK!' "That ones gone too." "Damn, it's like they know what the pitcher's gonna throw!" <I like kicking the stubborn asses of the Mulers> <I think they're M-u-e-l-l-e-r-s, nothing to do with mules> <That which we call a mule by any other name is just as stubborn> < Harrington Treecats' pastime, "Baseball, Celery and Chevrolet"> <What's a Chevrolet?> <Damfino. Sounds good though  >< >"Damned Treecats!" Son, your mother says I have to hang you. Personally I don't think this is a capital offense. But if I don't hang you, she's gonna hang me and frankly, I'm not the one in trouble. —cthia's father. Incident in ? Axiom of Common Sense |
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| Re: Honorverse Humor or lack thereof. | |
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by cthia
» Thu Sep 14, 2017 4:20 pm
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cthia
Posts: 14951
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NEWSFLASH!
A MAlign sleeper agent has been exposed on Manticore. She was caught photographing Harrington's personnel files. When the photos were examined and she was interrogated, it was discovered that she wasn't exactly interested in Harrington's records. Apparently it got back to Malign ears that Nimitz had been spending an inordinate amount of time at Saganami Island while Honor was teaching there. It seems that the MAlign are frightened. They just want to know if Nimitz' first name is Chester. Son, your mother says I have to hang you. Personally I don't think this is a capital offense. But if I don't hang you, she's gonna hang me and frankly, I'm not the one in trouble. —cthia's father. Incident in ? Axiom of Common Sense |
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| Re: Honorverse Humor or lack thereof. | |
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by cthia
» Fri Sep 15, 2017 9:32 am
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cthia
Posts: 14951
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The precursor to Nimitz' specially ordered grenades. <You said I could have access to some two-leg weapons if I can learn to use them properly. I pick grenades. I've been practicing with Horrible Hemphill, who really isn't so horrible. I can release the pin from four of these babies at once. I have four limbs that can throw with great accuracy. I can blow some asses up!> <I also asked Sonja to design some with velcro all around them, so I can somersault and stick them to human hair or throw them at clothing. This pepper spray sized can of synthetic chemicals inhibits them from sticking to mine for 24 hrs> "What? Nimitz, we gotta have a talk" <Is it about how fast I can get these things?  >Son, your mother says I have to hang you. Personally I don't think this is a capital offense. But if I don't hang you, she's gonna hang me and frankly, I'm not the one in trouble. —cthia's father. Incident in ? Axiom of Common Sense |
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| Re: Honorverse Humor or lack thereof. | |
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by cthia
» Fri Sep 15, 2017 10:17 am
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cthia
Posts: 14951
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Uh oh. Apparently cell phones can butt dial in the Honorverse as well. Pillow talk leaked to the public...
"But Beth, honey. You love Harrington. Why do you bristle so, when I mention the Harrington Doctrine." " Because I've always fancied the original Harrington Doctrine... 'Target imbeciles. Bend them over. Send Apollo up their backsides.' " Son, your mother says I have to hang you. Personally I don't think this is a capital offense. But if I don't hang you, she's gonna hang me and frankly, I'm not the one in trouble. —cthia's father. Incident in ? Axiom of Common Sense |
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| Re: Honorverse Humor or lack thereof. | |
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by robert132
» Fri Sep 15, 2017 3:55 pm
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robert132
Posts: 586
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Methinks someone (no names cthia) has too much time on his hands.  ****
Just my opinion of course and probably not worth the paper it's not written on. |
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| Re: Honorverse Humor or lack thereof. | |
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by cthia
» Fri Sep 15, 2017 4:29 pm
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cthia
Posts: 14951
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Methinks someone (no names mind you) is correct, if less than 5 hours of sleep daily is... too much time. I keep telling my wife the same thing that I have too much time on my hands since she's been away. She's off on a three week vacation bonding with my sisters. PLUS, I rarely get 8 hrs of sleep anyways. Research. Do people still get 8 hrs sleep? Always surrounded by several computers all day. 1 winblows. 7 Linux. 1 supercomp. And a couple androids that I rarely use. 2 Sharps. Several Gumstix and enough Raspberries to make wine. Or pie. But through it all, without coffee mind you, I still find time to stop and smell the roses, and laugh. Laughter keeps one young. It is one reason my wife says she was drawn to me. My youthful personality. But between us, I'm pretty darn sure its the good looks and charm. And ahem... Son, your mother says I have to hang you. Personally I don't think this is a capital offense. But if I don't hang you, she's gonna hang me and frankly, I'm not the one in trouble. —cthia's father. Incident in ? Axiom of Common Sense |
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| Re: Honorverse Humor or lack thereof. | |
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by filbert
» Fri Sep 15, 2017 9:24 pm
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filbert
Posts: 143
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I think cthia's fundamental problem is Honorverse Withdrawal.
E-Arc! E-Arc! E-Arc! |
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| Re: Honorverse Humor or lack thereof. | |
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by robert132
» Fri Sep 15, 2017 9:34 pm
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robert132
Posts: 586
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I don't. I made do with 4 hours at a time at sea (4 on, 4 off PLUS having other tasks like refueling at sea, flight quarters (on a DD no dedicated flight deck crew,) drills, "regular" work plus as division LPO personnel issues. Sleep? You can sleep when you're dead or retire. After 20 years "retirement" I've finally managed to train myself to "sleep in" for an extra 1.5 to 2 hours.  I still roll out at 5 AM to go to work for an 8 hour day and an hour commute each way.
LOL! ****
Just my opinion of course and probably not worth the paper it's not written on. |
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